We First Make Our Habits Then Our Habits Make Us - My Journal

Discussion in 'Self Improvement' started by bbchadi, May 31, 2019.

  1. bbchadi

    bbchadi Fapstronaut

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    DAY 67 of my life-bettering journey: Tuesday, June 04, 2019

    Intermittent Fasting (67 days so far): Today marks the last day of my dry fasting. I've been doing +16 hours of fasting with no food and no water for the last 30 days. Tomorrow I'll switch to normal intermittent fasting where water and beverages like coffee and tea (without sugar) are allowed.

    Morning Cold Showers (29 days so far): Took my morning Cold Shower with no problems.

    Quitting Porn (05 days so far): I feel irritated and sexually upset. I'm still trying to convince myself that porn is no longer an option. An urge stroke me before sleeping at night; and I masturbated without porn. My compulsive masturbation behaviors are stressing me out, but I'm telling myself to focus on porn and ONLY porn for the moment.
     
  2. bbchadi

    bbchadi Fapstronaut

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    DAY 68 of my life-bettering journey: Wednesday, June 05, 2019

    Intermittent Fasting (68 days so far): Even though my sleeping and eating times have seen some changes today, that didn't impacted my fasting program so far. Moreover, I switched to normal fasting instead of dry fasting.

    Morning Cold Showers (30 days so far): 30 Cold Showers out of 30 days. That's so gratifying.

    Quitting Porn (06 days so far): I wasn't bothered by porn thoughts today. It was relatively easy and I generally feel positive, at least for the moment.
     
  3. bbchadi

    bbchadi Fapstronaut

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    DAY 69 of my life-bettering journey: Thursday, June 06, 2019

    Intermittent Fasting (69 days so far): I started fasting today but I couldn't complete the day. I met a friend of mine in the evening and to my surprise, he was carrying a bag of food he bought for me. I wasn't hungry at all but I just couldn't refuse his invitation to eat. Otherwise, I would seem not nice at all, especially that I didn't see him for a while; and so we ate. Sometimes, social events and settings prevent us from being consistent with some habits, but that's ok if it happens every once in a while.

    Morning Cold Showers (31 days so far): I don't know the reason but I felt extremely cold today when I was showering. It's strange, especially that the temperature is generally stable these days.

    Quitting Porn (07 days so far): A week in. A new milestone. I had a few urges to watch porn at night but I slept before they could get a grip on me.
     
    Informius likes this.
  4. Informius

    Informius Fapstronaut

    Nice attitude on #1, reasonable!

    May I ask you why you are doing the intermittend Fasting? (weight loss or are you generally feeling better?)

    Gratulation on doing a week!
     
  5. bbchadi

    bbchadi Fapstronaut

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    Hello info Let, I hope you're doing great.

    Thank you for encouragement, I really appreciate it! I've actually started intermittent fasting for many reasons, none of them related to weight loss.

    First, I have gastric problems. Whenever I eat dinner, I don't benefit from a relaxing and restorative sleep. When I skip dinner, however, I feel light and have comfortable sleep without taking any antacids. Another benefit of skipping dinner is that I feel hungry in the morning and eat a large healthy breakfast instead of my regular French croissant and tea! Then there are the other health benefits like reduced inflammation, etc.

    I also like Intermittent Fasting because one less meal means less planning. I'm fond of simplicity and minimalism and I don't like to worry myself with too much planning. It may sound silly as preparing a dinner isn't a big decision but it really has an impact on me. I just do my evening stuff and go to bed.

    Thank you again and good luck with your undertakings.
     
    Informius likes this.
  6. bbchadi

    bbchadi Fapstronaut

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    DAY 70 of my life-bettering journey: Friday, June 07, 2019

    Intermittent Fasting (70 days so far): Only 20 days to complete three months. I feel so positive about this as a first change. It's getting easier with time, but I still have to stay vigilant.

    Morning Cold Showers (32 days so far): Another refreshing Cold Shower. One benefit that I've never stated about cold showers is that they help me wake up. I can't count the times I returned to bed after hitting the snooze button in the past. Now it is just unlikely with Cold Showers, but hell they can be so hard to take sometimes!

    Quitting Porn (08 days so far): I'm not sure about this observation (I need time to confirm it), but I just think less about masturbation when porn is not an option.
     
  7. bbchadi

    bbchadi Fapstronaut

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    DAY 71 of my life-bettering journey: Saturday, June 08, 2019

    Intermittent Fasting (71 days so far): Fasted for about 18 hours today. No cravings. No hunger.

    Morning Cold Showers (33 days so far): I've never paid attention to another benefit of Cold Showers until today. Since they're uncomfortable and last only a few minutes, they compel us to economize a lot of water. With hot showers, I waste up to x5 times the amount of water and that's no good. Water is a precious resource!

    Quitting Porn (09 days so far): My mind is playing me some silly tricks. Since porn is no longer an option to indulge in masturbation, I found myself unconsciously searching for another way to do it, that is online sex chat. Of course, sex chat is different from porn but I feel it's addictive and has the same "negative" impact on me. I'm thinking about considering it as porn, but I'm still not sure. I will wait for a few days before taking my decision.
     
  8. Informius

    Informius Fapstronaut

    And think about the energy that is needed to heat that water ;)
     
    bbchadi likes this.
  9. bbchadi

    bbchadi Fapstronaut

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    DAY 72 of my life-bettering journey: Sunday, June 09, 2019

    Intermittent Fasting (72 days so far): Another social setting prevented me from achieving my goal today. I gathered with my family in the evening (Sunday) for dinner. I was hesitant at first but I just let go and dined. And then there is the pizza thing; my mother made us one that I honestly couldn't resist! So it's another missed day and I frankly have a bit of a regret about it. Therefore, I'll try to be more consistent during the next week.

    Morning Cold Showers (34 days so far): Yet another normal Cold Shower today. Felt good.

    Quitting Porn (10 days so far): From today onward, any attempt to online sex chat will be considered as a relapse. I'm putting a great effort to fight porn and it would be crazy to let a similar habit ruin my progress. Sex chat is about fantasizing and edging even if it's not visual (or not as visual as porn). I know it will be hard and I'm totally aware that my mind will try to find other creative ways to have me to masturbate. Let's see what's the next trick!
     
  10. bbchadi

    bbchadi Fapstronaut

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    DAY 73 of my life-bettering journey: Monday, June 10, 2019

    Intermittent Fasting (73 days so far): A second failed day in a row. I've expected a few days ago that some changes in my life may impact my Intermittent Fasting challenge. Well, my expectations were right and this stresses me out. I think I need to do sacrifices (health and personal well-being vs social adequacy). Anyway, I believe I'll figure out a proper balance between the two.

    Morning Cold Showers (35 days so far): I took a long Cold Shower today. About 8 minutes. Great sensations.

    Quitting Porn (11 days so far): I wasn't bothered by any porn thoughts today. Keeping myself busy.
     
  11. bbchadi

    bbchadi Fapstronaut

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    DAY 74 of my life-bettering journey: Tuesday, June 11, 2019

    Intermittent Fasting (74 days so far): Today, I woke up to a Japanese proverb saying: "Fall down seven times, stand up eight". This clearly illustrates the power of Japanese resilience. The first thing that came to my mind is that I must keep on my fasting streak regardless of my last two failures. And I succeeded. But damn it was hard today (I guess because I'm going through a period of uncertainty).

    Morning Cold Showers (36 days so far): A couple of observations today. First, I don't hesitate to go under the water anymore. Second, my breathing rhythm is steady; it always got disordered during my first cold showers.

    Quitting Porn (12 days so far): Thought about porn a couple times but switched my thinking rapidly. Nothing too powerful.
     
    Informius likes this.
  12. bbchadi

    bbchadi Fapstronaut

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    DAY 75 of my life-bettering journey: Wednesday, June 12, 2019

    Intermittent Fasting (75 days so far): I failed again but today, it was just me. No social gathering compelled me to eat. No constraint. Nothing but my lack of willpower and discipline. I fully admit and recognize that it was my fault, and I promise... I promise it WON'T happen again.

    Morning Cold Showers (37 days so far): Took my usual Cold Shower today. It wasn't hard at all.

    Quitting Porn (13 days so far): I had a strong urge in the evening, before I sleep. I masturbated to release but not to porn. I noticed that urges always strike at night, usually when I'm in my bed. It's the time when I'm in my weakest state, and I'm just wondering why.
     
  13. bbchadi

    bbchadi Fapstronaut

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    DAY 76 of my life-bettering journey: Thursday, June 13, 2019

    Intermittent Fasting (76 days so far): I fasted for about 18 hours today and it was relatively easy. I was so fed up with my yesterday's failure; another relapse wasn't an option.

    Morning Cold Showers (38 days so far): My Cold Shower was delayed by a few hours today but I managed to take it.

    Quitting Porn (14 days so far): A new milestone. Two weeks. I'm really happy! Maybe it's a small achievement, but it has an extreme importance in my eyes.
     
    Last edited: Jun 15, 2019
    Informius likes this.
  14. bbchadi

    bbchadi Fapstronaut

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    DAY 77 of my life-bettering journey: Friday, June 14, 2019

    Intermittent Fasting (77 days so far): Today was really hard, but I managed to succeed. Sometimes, craving food is not about hunger; I wasn't hungry at all today but I wanted to eat so bad. When I thought about it, I realized that I was feeling down and that was the reason behind my cravings. For some people, eating improves mood, and I think I belong to this category.

    Morning Cold Showers (39 days so far): Taking Cold Showers is by far the easiest challenge I'm taking right now. They may feel uncomfortable but they're still effortless compared to IF and Quitting Porn.

    Quitting Porn (15 days so far): I had strong urges at night, maybe the strongest since the beginning of my challenge. I delayed. I switched my thinking to other stuff. I talked to family members. But hell I felt so vulnerable.
     
    Last edited: Jun 15, 2019
  15. bbchadi

    bbchadi Fapstronaut

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    DAY 78 of my life-bettering journey: Saturday, June 15, 2019

    Intermittent Fasting (78 days so far): After a few days of uncertainty about my Intermittent Fasting habit, I'm slowly getting back on rails. Today was moderately easy; I fasted for about 18 hours.

    Morning Cold Showers (40 days so far): Sometimes I'm just wondering if I'd be able to take Cold Showers during winter. I shouldn't actually bother myself with such questions; we'll just see with time.

    Quitting Porn (16 days so far): No urges at all today. I was feeling down a bit but I didn't think about porn at all.
     
  16. bbchadi

    bbchadi Fapstronaut

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    DAY 79 of my life-bettering journey: Sunday, June 16, 2019

    Intermittent Fasting (79 days so far): My schedule will be disturbed during 3 days for studies reasons. So I won't be fasting until next Wednesday.

    Morning Cold Showers (41 days so far): My Morning Cold Shower lasted about 10 minutes today. So cold, so refreshing.

    Quitting Porn (17 days so far): The need for porn started manifesting in an extreme way today. I feel disturbed and stressful. However, I managed to escape porn. I hope I'll get better tomorrow.
     
    Informius likes this.
  17. bbchadi

    bbchadi Fapstronaut

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    DAY 80 of my life-bettering journey: Monday, June 17, 2019

    Intermittent Fasting (80 days so far): The second day of my fasting break, as stated previously.

    Morning Cold Showers (42 days so far): I took my usual morning shower easily. No problems. No hesitation.

    Quitting Porn (18 days so far): Today was no good. I was flooded with porn thoughts and so much tension. I feel like there is no other way to release but to porn; I know that that's totally wrong but my mind keeps trying to convince me. I feel sad and worthless due to that, and I'm just resisting in hope that tomorrow will be better.
     
  18. Informius

    Informius Fapstronaut

    Hey @bbchadi!

    My advice for you is to try to limit masturbation. I am not very strict with the no MO rule either, but I think a ~10 days or even 5days period of no M would be good for you, to try to get your mind away from this physical pleasure and reduce your cravings to porn.

    Have a great day!
     
  19. bbchadi

    bbchadi Fapstronaut

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    Hi my friend.

    Thank you very much, this catches me in a very bad mood. In fact, I swiftly watched porn today and I feel horribly regretful. Now I'm going to review many parameters to benefit from my relapse. In regards to masturbation, I've actually decided to limit it to once per week and eventually to once every ten days in the future. It's hard but I'm getting used to it.

    Have a good day and stay strong!
     
    Informius likes this.
  20. bbchadi

    bbchadi Fapstronaut

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    DAY 81 of my life-bettering journey: Tuesday, June 18, 2019

    Intermittent Fasting (81 days so far): The third and the last day of my fasting break. I will resume my fasting streak tomorrow. Hope it'll be easy.

    Morning Cold Showers (43 days so far): Unfortunately the only challenge that I'm excelling at for the moment. I'm going through a bad time but my Morning Cold Showers are intact.

    Quitting Porn (19 days so far): I watched porn today and I feel so bad. I just reached a point I couldn't resist. My mind was painting me extremely exciting scenes that prevented me even from drifting into sleep. The surprise is when I watched the first porn images; I was like "mehhh... where the hell has the crazy excitation that led me to this gone?!" Nada. It wasn't exciting at all, or at least not as I imagined. After this incident, I took the quick decision to get back on rails. I won't reset my counter as I believe I'm still benefiting from my abstinence; I didn't watch it for long.
     

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