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webcam addiction

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by hms74, Oct 20, 2014.

  1. hms74

    hms74 Fapstronaut

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    Does anybody else is addicted to play on random cam sites? I just realized it the same time I realized that I am addicted to porn. And to be honest quitting porn looks much more easier for me than to quit from these sites :(
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 1, 2014
    Floweringlife likes this.
  2. barnyjay

    barnyjay Fapstronaut

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    O yes its hard! I was on those cams too much.
     
  3. hms74

    hms74 Fapstronaut

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    how can you resist? any suggestions?
     
  4. DonkeyKong22

    DonkeyKong22 Fapstronaut

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    I used to spend hours on a free cam site, in fact I was addicted before but they really increased the intensity. I then began to pay for private shows. It got to the stage where a would think all day at work about when I could go on these sites. I was addicted to asking for poses. And it is these sites that I have the biggest urges for now. Bad shit, I started with [NSFW]chatroulette[/NSFW] actually.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 1, 2014
    Inland589 likes this.
  5. DonkeyKong22

    DonkeyKong22 Fapstronaut

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    I just let this comment for a newbie, is it any use for you. Please see below.
     
  6. DonkeyKong22

    DonkeyKong22 Fapstronaut

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    I just wrote this for a new friend and thought it might help you Firstly as you'll be aware there are loads of us in the same boat. In fact I came to your thread because I needed some motivation from the newbies as I am facing massive urges to relapse today after accidently seeing pictures of a woman in her underwear in a news paper.
    Reading early threads from the likes of your self reminds me of how much I want this, when I try to convince myself "just this once".
    The best advice I got on day one was learn as much as you can about the addiction, pornonthebrain.com is a great site to inform you and watch as many videos on youtube about porn addiction as possible. If you read up you will expect the urges, and the way you can persuade yourself to relapse.
    beware of things that pop up every day that lead to massive urges, the newspaper for me today, a radio announcement that a video of a celebrity has been leaked the other week. One minute you can feel solid and the next so tempted. Also I just happened to do some internet banking one night in my boxers and by brain made the link between laptop and boxers and this caused a massive urge. Being home alone is another for me. But every time you beat an urge it's a massive relief and the next time your in the same position it's a bit easier.
    Write a journal on here , it's very encourage to get comments and encouragement and it's so good to be able to read back your journal on good and bad days.
    It sounds like you have hobbies, use these to replace masturbation. In fact this is an area I need to improve.
    In an urge don't dilly dally around online, slam the lid shut and do something different. So many people relapse by browsing online when there bored then ultimately going on porn. I used to regualary waste an hour pre porn session just browsing online trying to resist but deep down fully knowing I would fap. So that's 2 hours wasted.
    Find an accountability partner. I am very lucky mine is my wife. I know some people aren't lucky enough to be able to confided in somebody so find one on here.
    And the general consensus on here is get a good porn filter. I am one of the few that doesn't use a porn filter but I am lucky because I don't have to use my laptop for work, I have so far done ok without one.
    Finally try to imagine yourself never going on porn again. At first it's very daunting and the further you get in your journey it actually becomes believable.
    Make a list in your mind of bad memory's linked to porn and reasons you want to stop and every few days go through them in your head. This has been a very good tactic for me.
    And if you do happen to relapse don't let it pull you into a binge session, use the guilt to motivate you and beat your previous count straight away. No 2nd or 3rd fap because you failed. However don't let that thought of just once then nothing for a month let you relapse either. Good luck
     
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  7. anthrope

    anthrope Fapstronaut

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    I second DonkeyKong22! There's lots of resources to deal with PMO addiction, so educate yourself on them. Congrats to DonkeyKong22 on the amazing 79 days, by the way. I will get there soon!

    Hms74 - I know your pain. I used to be a big cam to cam guy myself, and I know the peculiar triggers that lead to it. I'd say simply cut to root of all addictions. Flood yourself with all the information on getting rid of your addiction. Post frequently on nofap when tempted. Read up and watch youtube vids of people who have successfully recovered from PMO addiction. Remind yourself what you want out of life when your brain is not on PMO. Remind yourself how it feels right after you have indulged in the PMO, and how low you feel and how deep the sense of wasted time is.

    At the root though, any addiction, PMO, or otherwise, is about feeling a lack of self worth. I know, I've been there, and I am working on it. Check out addiction studies (Gabor Mate, Marc Lewis for instance) and you'll see that they end up with this conclusion. A basic lack of self trust. A feeling that there is a hole in my soul, which needs filling. Find some way to start liking and trusting yourself in some deep way again.
     
    BF109 likes this.
  8. ianm54

    ianm54 Fapstronaut

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    You are not alone

    I too became addicted to webcam sex sites as well as other more risky forms of sex addiction. Trust me it is a slippery slope and not one I would wish on anyone. Like other addictions sex addiction can ruin families, cause financial hardship and even lead to legal issues. In my case my addiction even put me at risk of personal physical harm. The big difference with any form of sex addiction, be it porn, masturbation or other forms of sexual acting out is that it is not a well understood or "accepted" form of addiction. Sadly many people associate sex addiction with "dirty old men" and sex offenders. This is just not true any member of society can be affected but many are just too ashamed to face up to their problem until it blows up in their face.

    However the "good news" is you are far from alone. By reaching out here you are already on the way to recovery. You obviously know you have a problem and hopefully know it is a problem you must deal with.

    I am not going to get into any argument as to wither porn and/or masturbation in them selves are right or wrong, that is your decision alone. In my case and I think in yours the problem is NOT the action but rather the addiction. My addiction was out of control and slowly consuming my life and energy.

    Although I have only just joined this group I can already see that this is a tool I can use to help in my own recovery from my sexual addiction. As well as here I encourage you to also seek help else where. There are many groups out there with members who share our problems such as Sex Addicts Anonymous (https://saa-recovery.org/). Trust me as with any form of addiction it is much easier to recover in the company of other addicts who will understand your addiction, listen and not pass judgment.

    Once again I want to assure you:-
    You are not alone
    You are not some kind of freak or pervert
    Recovery will not be easy but it IS possible.

    Good luck and stay strong.
     
    Last edited: Nov 1, 2014
    ukguy4, MellowFellow and Jonny123 like this.
  9. Midnight motivation

    Midnight motivation Fapstronaut

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    I have had that exact same problem! I only recently found out about this application called 'K9', which blocks/eliminates are sites of your choosing. Highly recommend trailing it out, stay strong and best of luck
     
  10. simon2058

    simon2058 New Fapstronaut

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    I am in a very positive and supportive relationship with an amazing sexy woman and I'm addicted to porn.
    My addiction to pornography in general has grown over the years. I managed to get myself off it for a few months but the other day I was browsing the internet and I accidentally discovered naughtychurch cams. This is something I never knew about before and when I checked it out, I couldn't believe it was real. Since that day, I check to see what girls are online almost everyday. I don't even masturbate to it. I just go from live webcam to live webcam for hours on end. It's like watching a gerbil in a cage. They can't see me, but I can watch them. When I first discovered it I signed up, and had a "private session" with one of the girls that I liked a lot based on the fact that she looked almost exactly like cameron diaz. She's probably some poor girl from Russia. I had one private session with her then I cancelled my account immediately. I had never done anything like this before, and it felt a lot like cheating. i mean, there's and actual girl on the other side who I was writing back and forth to. And then she took her clothes off and masturbated while I masturbated. I feel so guilty. Since then, I drop by daily to see if she is there. And if she is I just watch her for hours. If she is not there, I go from live girl to live girl and just watch them. It's interfering with my relationship. I mean, I have a crush on a Russian webcam girl and I'm in a relationship?! WTF is wrong with me? Its crossing into reality for me. I find myself thinking about her when I'm walking down the street. I need to stop, and I've made a promise to myself that I would a week ago, and I broke that promise to myself once already.
     
  11. Man, don't lie to yourself! It's cheating 100%. The sooner you make this clear to yourself the easier it is to quit. You are giving sexual energy to someone else rather than your significant other. She would clearly feel betrayed if she walked in on you masturbating along with another female. As you pointed out, it is crossing into reality. This is no longer just you watching porn. You cheated with a random stranger. An infatuation like this creates anticipation and floods your brain with dopamine to the point where you can't think clearly. It's similar to if you met a women in person and became infatuated. You have to step back and realize that what you're doing is completely empty. They don't care about you, while your significant other must love you dearly. Get off that site, use a blocker such as K9 mentioned in one of the replies above. You have to put this woman completely out of your mind and realize she is nothing to you. Read all the replies above; there's some great advice given that totally applies to you.
     
    dr_persistent and Jennica like this.
  12. BF109

    BF109 Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for this. Up until now I knew I had an issue but it was kept in check with a busy family life, work, gym, travel, clubs and all that good stuff. Then at the age of early 40's I discovered cam sites about 2 months ago (no interest at all until now). My behaviour has changed massively in the wrong direction along with my spending. I tried a hard reboot and lasted 8 days, then did a 3 day and now I need to get serious and make more drastic changes.

    Cheers for the advice here guys; it all makes sense, so thanks for taking the time to lay it down.
     
    Last edited: Nov 5, 2017
  13. MerseyPhoenix

    MerseyPhoenix Fapstronaut

    Camsites have been a massive part of my P consumption in the last three years. They offer as close to meeting as possible experience with a myriad of attractive women who "pretend" to like you for your money. It is a form of prostitution, where the women are safe, and the males can be voyeurs. It is a very clever idea and of course relatively new to PA.
     
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  14. nd307

    nd307 New Fapstronaut

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    I have spent £120 in 1 month so far on webcam private shows. Feel so damn dumb.
     
  15. Onehope

    Onehope Fapstronaut

    Im addicted to all things PMO, so yes, its hard, but there cant be any loopholes on a recovery
     
  16. BF109

    BF109 Fapstronaut

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    Don't beat yourself up matey. Just recognise it and make the steps to get off these sites. I found it useful to read up on the stripper mindset, psychology and tricks of their trade*. It's all about the hustle (just like real life strippers). Having clarity on how fake these sites are helped me counteract my brain's subtle manipulations.

    * there are stripper and cam girl forums where they discuss the various aspects of the business. They don't have much imagery except for a few avatars, but there is frank talk about certain things. So be careful if you choose to read.
     
    Last edited: Dec 14, 2017
  17. erikafontes

    erikafontes New Fapstronaut

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    I was also addicted to the girls live cameras but I could overcome thanks to the support of my family and friends
     
    BF109 likes this.
  18. Eagle555

    Eagle555 New Fapstronaut

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    Hello all this is my 65 day of no Pmo hard mode.
     

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