I've went through a lot this year and i felt like i needed to get this off my chest somehow. I'm not really sure how i was before i began smoking weed if i was already depressed when i started or if i was happy. Its all really a blur. But it was very easy to get into. My brother was probably the main influence and a friend i knew that would always be smoking weed so i thought id just tag along. Masturbation felt great when you smoke so i did it every time i was high. My brother would always have friends come over with huge bongs and naturally i wanted to try them so i would smoke. Its obviously my part for being swayed by it but it was just to easy to get into. I became antisocial and thought the summer i would always lay on the couch doing nothing while smoking on some occasions. It became unmotivated to do anything except smoke. There was time over the summer when i had no money so i didn't smoke and i began trying to motivate myself. I began going outdoors to play soccer and began to run around the neighborhood in order strengthen my lungs. While it did help i could only do so much because i would get high as the THC would burn up and get my high. I began to realize i needed to change. At school i was a mess i was completely antisocial even with my friends it was hard to talk to. My coordination was pretty shit and my grades were shit pretty bad ( i knew i could do better). I had this brain fog looming over me and to this day it still lingers. As time passed i quit smoking and my coordination came back to me as well as my concentration but i' struggling now with something. I was able to regain my social abilities and now have more friends than i would have ever thought i could make. I love school more than ever but now i'm struggling with something new. Masturbation. Up until now i haven't realized how detrimental masturbation could be. I always thought it was just a way to release stress. But now i know its not the case. I know its a drug just like the weed i used to smoke. I'm relatively healthy now i go to the gym 3 times a week and do cardio. But i still struggle with depression and turn to masturbation to help me. But i want to stop and know i need to stop so i need help to keep me from succumbing to my urges. If anyone has something they could say to help me please say so.