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Weird behavior of body while rebooting.

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Changeisgud, May 10, 2018.

  1. Changeisgud

    Changeisgud Fapstronaut

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    Hello all! This is my first time here so I hope you can clarify some stuff for me and help me understand some things happening to me. I apologize in advance because it’s a long text, but I hope someone has the patience to read and possibly give some good advice.

    Here’s my experience:

    I’m 22 years old and have been addicted to P and M since I was around 12. I would M up to 8 times a day and watch P everyday before bed at the same time (also on other moments such as shower, when I was just bored etc.). It became a habit and even if I wasn’t excited, I’d do it anyways. It came into a point where I didn’t have an erection at all while laying in bed, but forced it just because it was a habit and I didn’t think much about it.

    I started noticing that I would not get an erection just by looking at any content or even hooking up with girls, unless there was direct physical stimulation.

    I always had and still have libido (a lot). I felt a lot of desire with the girls I was with, who were really attractive. Please do not misunderstand what I’ll say now, I am definitely NOT bragging on this topic, but often girls consider me an attractive guy, and even more lately I’ve been getting with crazy good looking girls who really do drive me crazy.

    But my MAIN ISSUE:
    I’ve been having a hard time getting an erection and maintaining an erection. It’s getting to a point where I get embarrassed because I’ll be crazy with desire, really in the moment, hands all over the girl (and feel lots of pleasure doing it), but when I’m touched a lot of the times I’ll have a half erection or even not at all. Most times when I start touching myself VERY low key and it starts going, I’ll let them touch me and it goes a little better.

    I never gave this attention, but lately I got steady with a girl that is amazing and started having way more sex and realized this thing that I never noticed before: I’d have a hard time getting an erection and if a position doesn’t move a lot and stimulates me a LOT or if I didn’t touch myself while changing positions, I’d lose my erection in a matter of seconds. I doenst become 100% flaccid, but it’s noticeable for both of us and a lot of the times we need to go back to using hands to get the erection 100% and go again. I cannot hold it or maintain it for a healthy amount of time. Even when I get it 100% and start intercourse it doesn’t stay rock solid, but at least it’s still very, very pleasurable for both of us.

    The situation is bad for us because the quimistry is insane and we’ve managed to contour this situation so far, so is clear that the desire is on point, but she gets insecure about me losing the erection fast or in certain positions being about me not desiring her. (Which it’s not, but the situation is 100% understandable. If I’m inside her and my erection goes away a little, it must feel terrible for her ALTHOUGH ITS NOTHING RELATED TO HER!!!)

    Because of that I started questioning if P and M would be impacting this or if it was a medical situation. To clear it out, I went to a doctor and did some exams. All my hormone levels are perfectly normal.

    Many (or even most) days I have decent morning erections and the erection works fine with M, so it’s nothing relating to circulation as well.

    One day I tried the blue pill just to see what it would feel like and I still didn’t get a rock solid erection, although it did feel a little more secure. Down side is that I lasted without any jokes 3 hours having sex - which sounds good but it’s not. I couldn’t reach an orgasm in her and again, she though it was about her. I normally last a decent amount of time, possibly because I would M a lot and everyday.

    THIS IS NOW IS WHAT ACTUALLY SCARED ME:
    I decided to stop with P and M. My desire went up like CRAZY. It was all I could and can think about. In a matter of 5 days I was VERY sensible (to a point where I’m worried I won’t last 2 minutes). And this is where it gets weird: I’m crazy sensible and my desire is up the roof, but I’m still not getting erections at all spontaniously, which I thought I would. Not even when I’m at the maximum point of desire, I’ll get an erection without physical stimulation.

    What I’m worried about is still taking long to have and maintain an erection, but not lasting at all. I never felt this sensible and it’s definitely gonna be fast...

    Is this normal? Has anyone experienced it before?



    I’m really sorry again for this huge text.
     
    Gmork likes this.
  2. Changeisgud

    Changeisgud Fapstronaut

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    Absolutely, I completely understand that 5 days is basically nothing. Really the beginning of the beginning. One thing I noticed is that I don’t miss M. What is hard is that my libido has increased monstrously, so I want to have sex all the time, and think about sex (not m) all the time. Also porn is quite easy to go without. So the only concern is the erection, nothing else for now. I’ll try to post my journey here.
     
    Gmork likes this.
  3. Ghost79

    Ghost79 Fapstronaut

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    Will sex with a prostitute slow down my healing process?
     
  4. Changeisgud

    Changeisgud Fapstronaut

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    Hey man! Glad you’re here, hope you’re doing well and stoked about making these changes in your life!

    About your question, I’m really in the very beginning, but I’ve heard two opinions mainly:
    1- you should abstain from anything that gets you to a climax
    2- you should only reach the climax with intercourse or another human being basically.

    The argument for the 2 point is that your brain has been programmed to see M as a reward, and you messed with your reward system by doing it so much. Doing it only with another person would have a positive effect, making your reward system “reprogram” after a while.

    It does make sense to me, but since I’m in day 6, I can’t say anything for sure.

    I personally wouldn’t do it with prostitutes but for my own moral reasons, but will with my girlfriend. I don’t know the effects of that on the brain... maybe someone else can clarify this!
     
  5. Ghost79

    Ghost79 Fapstronaut

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    Yea its easy to keep up with your "moral reasons" for not doing prostitutes because you already have a girlfriend!
     
  6. Changeisgud

    Changeisgud Fapstronaut

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    UPDATE:
    I’m on day 8 now. On days 6 and 7 I had so much desire, my libido was through the roof, but still no erection without direct physical stimulation. It was very hard, it felt like I had 100pounds of sperm that really wanted to get out and was ULTRA sensitive specially when flaccid, which I thought was pretty weird... way more sensitive flaccid than with an erection. But erection didn’t happen spontaneously (except for a half erection now and then, but nothing actually worth saying here) , even though the feeling of my pants touching it already felt “good”.

    Now on day 8 I had the easiest day of them all. I’m laying in bed alone now and feeling normal. I’m not ultra sensitive like I was all week and not thinking about sex 100% of the time. I’m not sure if this is what they call the flatline or anything. I think it isn’t because they say you have like 0 libido, and it’s not the case. It’s just not over the top levels of desire. Feeling good.

    Also didn’t hookup with my GF this week just because our plans didn’t give us any time to do it. So 8 days doing PMO. Will only go without PM though. Will have sex normally this week.

    I’m looking forward to seeing how it’ll go regarding sex, considering I already feel so different 8 days in.
     
  7. Changeisgud

    Changeisgud Fapstronaut

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    Day 11 right now.

    Had sex yesterday. I was extremely sensitive on days 1 to 8, but now I’m actually way less sensitive. Hard to maintain an erection at times, and when I did maintain it, reached an O in less than 5 minutes... My libido is still quite present, but erection got even a little harder to get and maintain now than before quitting PM... I’m very worried about flatline period because this was an abnormal week that I stayed 10 days without sex. Me and my girlfriend are very active, so if I have 0 libido (which I can’t imagine happening, but so many people say it happens that it must be true) or can’t have an erection at all, might cause problems in my relationship.

    I’ve been dating for 2 months and we’ve been very active since, so this is a subject that I’m definitely not ready to share with her right now and she might not understand it, because we’ve already done it so much. This flatline is really very very very scary for me.

    Funny thing is:
    I don’t think or feel that I’m addicted to P, even though I watched years of it. I don’t crave it at all. I don’t fantasize about it. It’s really irrelevant for me. M is much harder, but because of the physical reactions I get. Because I liked to O (so I M) but did it most times without being aroused by anything, started touching while 100% flaccid basically 95% of the time, I’m positive that I basically taught my mind that the erection doesn’t have to happen because something will always be estimulating my penis when it has to happen. The effect is: I feel extremely horny, but stay flaccid or have a minor erection when aroused. It only gets 100% rock hard with my hands or my gf hands. Not with intercourse, kissing, touching any other parts. Yesterday for example she got me 100% rock solid, but when we started intercourse, it started getting more flaccid and it’s noticeable.

    This is my main concern and only reason doing PM: having and maintaining normal erections.

    I’ve seen many people saying that they improved confidence, energy, concentration etc etc, but I don’t feel like I need improvements in these areas or even that I would improve by doing PMO... So only reason at all is erections.

    Does anyone have any advices for my situation?
     
  8. Changeisgud

    Changeisgud Fapstronaut

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    Day 13.

    WHAT. A. DAY.

    Almost 2 weeks in with no PM something happened that got me REAAAALLY happy: Got a rock solid erection just from my girl saying stuff teasing me. 0 physical contact.

    Then had the best sex I’ve had in years. Maybe ever. I was so comfortable and confident that I maintened an erection PERFECTLY for 40 minutes of pure awesomeness, then reaching O. Then did it again 2 more times, adding everything up, lasted almost 2 hours. It worked EXACTLY as it should. 100% firm until I O, then around 5 minutes just relaxing and light kissing to regain energy, and after that it was ready for more.

    I’m absolutely euphoric. No PM is CHANGING MY LIFE. I was worried about having O through sex impacting the process, but for me it was (and is) AMAZING. My brain is already reprogramming and erection today couldn’t have been better. It was way above my expectations and Ill risk saying that it might even have been above average. I actually think that abstaining for around 10 days of any PM (of course, and will continue) and specially O until my body was craving it like crazy, then giving it the correct stimulus of how the O should happen and be achieved was a super-monstrously-effective catalyst for my process.

    This doesn’t feel like it was a one time thing, and I hope it isn’t, but anyways I’ll still post the next chapters here. Haven’t been getting any responses, which would be cool, but just writing it out helps me a lot as well.

    I just wanna reinforce to anyone who reads, this no PM thing really, really pays off. For a lot o ppl it might not seem so harmful, but PM kills the way your sexuality works. I say it from experience.

    I’ve said it before but I have so much libido and my erection was not keeping up with it at all, which is really upsetting. I wasn’t sure if PM caused it, but now there is NO DOUBT.

    Keep hustling though. PM never again.
     
  9. IWillWin03

    IWillWin03 Fapstronaut

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    Congrats brotha!
     
    Changeisgud likes this.

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