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Discussion in 'Problematic Sexual Behavior' started by Fergz9, Dec 2, 2021.
I don’t know what to do, I can’t stop
What is your issue? I’d be glad to help
If its just watching girls walking and how they move and how their butt moves. Thats not weird pretty common.
i dont see the problem !! U ok
I’ve got like a weird obsession with ass, I love everything about em, the shape, the smell, how it looks in certain kinda pants, and I feel like it’s becoming a problem to the point where it controls me sometimes
really everything ? i am sure there are certain butts you won't like.
it's called being a man, welcome to the club
you did acknowledge the fact that you liked good looking curves, it's okay... you may appreciate it, notice it, acknowledge it then, go on with your day, unless there is something else,
but i agree with you sometimes it is very... captivating sight. it's okay to think about it. just don't try anything stupid with your hands !
i have no more advice. have a nice day !
Yea doesn’t help asses have gotten outta hands these days seriously, and it’s everywhere
i struggle with that too, i am not the best advice giver, but i try to give visibility by answering as relevantly as i could because, i'd like to see some wisdom on how people deal with being turned on (or similar), by "normal" stuff, even though it can be overwhelming sometimes.
Just imagine her taking a shit, that should help you cool down.
Quite normal but not healthy.
It is a symptom and not the problem.
Do SR for few months and i bet you will change.
You will start seeing and feeling the female essence rather than her skin only.
Another issue is that our brains are wired to mate with the opposite sex. We are mammals after all it’s in our DNA.
And the females body is designed to attract males, the wide hips and slim waist have an innate effect which relates to pregnancy. Which drives our sex hormones crazy. I was reading up about it a while ago it’s pretty insane how much our body/brain is subconsciously designed around sex.
But to help urges/triggers if I was you I’d try my best not to look at asses. I work with some very attractive women who have amazing cheeks and I know id love to have a look but I fight the urge. Just think over and over don’t look don’t look. It sounds strange but works for me.
honest blunt response, respect lol
On top of that a lot of women's clothing is designed to exaggerate sexual signals - 'booty enhancing' pants, 'pushup' bras. where they literally look like something that doesn't exist in nature but hyper-signals men.
This is pretty normal. Even the 'smelling' part - look at mammal behavior -what is the first things dogs do? [it's not the 'sh*t part that's attractive but I believe there are glands/secretions there that signal fertility]
The problem is 'ass' is much more visible these days - everywhere - on the street, online and women often 'flaunting' it.
its natural to look - but oggling is a serious problem and it gives you a 'creep' vibe. Next time you're out on the street and there are hot women, try looking at the guys staring at their asses - they look like weak,wimpy creeps.. I am not saying this to feel 'superior' because I realized that's how I looked when I did it. Again it's natural to be attracted, but staring just makes the problem worse and you are demeaning yourself.
Here are some things I tried:
the three second rule - never look more than three seconds.
Try to play a game with yourself. How many asses can you 'not look at' - and reward yourself for doing that.
Realize when you stare or oggle you are taking power away from yourself.
I have the same problem especially with women who wear leggings
If seeing a woman’s derrière is a trigger for you, stare at your shoelaces instead. It works.
Amazes me how many women wearing black thin leggings that are always see thru, wonder if they know it?
I hear you brother. I too struggle with this. In my rebooting process, I’ve noticed that I have more control, but not total control. I’m trying to remind myself that the more I look, the more I engage in the struggle. I’m trying to do a better job of keeping my focus elsewhere, sometimes that means totally avoiding certain people, activities, etc.
Something that I learned from a recent episode of Porn Free Radio, is to physically change your position if where you are in a space is making it easy for you to be triggered. The example Matt gave was a time when he was sitting at a diner and noticed an attractive girl, he physically moved to a new seat so that his back was to her.
Remember that you are only human, and like others have mentioned, hardwired to find sexually enticing things attractive. The trick is to acknowledge it, but find a strategy that helps you move on.
Good luck everyone!