Today i woke up without and urges to watch porn.I woke up but was still laying in bed (which was a mistake) i got on my tablet and wants d to check reddit, so there i was scrolling and scrolling and boom some Trans Sub reddit that i didn't unfollow after my last relapse. I saw a couple of the posts and decided fuck it, I'm going to have Fap. Luckily i was told that there was a package arriving today and held of The masturabtion until after the package arrived, and hoped that the urge would go away. Some time went by and couldn't handle it and just went on a trans porn spree, without masturabtion. Through my search i found a sub reddit for Sisses looking for chat. So then it happened when i escalated from watching trans porn to actually chatting to a trans, i later found out she wasn't trans she was a "femboy". But i wanted dopamine so didn't really care i was talking with her and she sent me some nudes and videos of her fapping. Me having been in this situation before had to control myself and not send nudes back. Which i didn't thank god, it would have caused me more stress. We talked for about 2 hours and i guess I'm her Daddy not and she's my femboy. Again i really don't fucking know. Once she had to go to sleep, my package finally arrived and was ready to go full out. While the 2 hours i was talking to her, i also had an urge to finger myself and have a orgasm through only massaging the prostate. And that what i did (i don't want get into the details). After i finished doing what i had to do, i deleted the app i was talking to her on and regretted talking to her because i wasted 2 hours of her day for false hopes. I took a shower and realized all my stages of escalation. And boy has it escalated. I went from Straight porn for 4-5 years, to shamble porn for 5 months to talking to femboys. It has really escalated and if i don't stop now I'm worried that this will escalated into something bigger and i will do something that is truly worth regretting. I don't want it to get to the point. Im a straight male but My addiction is making me desire things that i really don't want physically. I want them sexually but not physically if that makes any sense.