Well... I still have some doubts

1

123potatochamp

Fapstronaut
How come even sex story or jokes, reading or I'm saying it, share the same effect as watch actual porn that count as reset? Just how???? My own set of rules are cut off pmo only, I'm not planning to be a monk, or that i would slipped back to pmo again after reading those stories? Heck no, it won't lead to pmo at all, not as strong as actual porn...

To count that as reset, to me it's just a bit too much...
 
Here’s what you need to do. Make your own rules about what a reset is. Don’t listen to anyone else, you set your own standards. Then, see if you can maintain them.

That’s it. I don’t think addicts should try all that fringe behavior because it’s just a lesser thing on the same spectrum, and it will probably escalate back to full porn but if that’s not how you want to operate, that’s ok. But if you find yourself spending too much time browsing for jokes and stories, if you’re still reliant on those to get you through the day, I’d reevaluate my standards.
 
You’re kidding, right? I just signed up and I didn’t read the agreements so I’m not sure how detailed I can go into this topic. But I will say, that looking up family taboo and reading such stories (just writing this is actually giving me a sense of relief because I’ve never shared this with anyone) is the same thing as pornography.
Let me ask you this, imagine you are in a room with someone who you respect very much and they think of you the same way, a best friend or an important colleague, would you search this in front of them?
The answer is no. It’s porn bro.

Right now, I’m on Day 3. Yeah, it’s nothing but this is only the beginning.
A story about someone doing initiate things will increase your dopamine just as much as watching it, perhaps slightly less but it’s still porn.

Stop making excuses is what I’ve told myself. I’m 30 and married.
 
Meshuga said:
Here’s what you need to do. Make your own rules about what a reset is. Don’t listen to anyone else, you set your own standards. Then, see if you can maintain them.

That’s it. I don’t think addicts should try all that fringe behavior because it’s just a lesser thing on the same spectrum, and it will probably escalate back to full porn but if that’s not how you want to operate, that’s ok. But if you find yourself spending too much time browsing for jokes and stories, if you’re still reliant on those to get you through the day, I’d reevaluate my standards.
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Couldnt agree more. Well said
 
TrevorDun said:
You’re kidding, right? I just signed up and I didn’t read the agreements so I’m not sure how detailed I can go into this topic. But I will say, that looking up family taboo and reading such stories (just writing this is actually giving me a sense of relief because I’ve never shared this with anyone) is the same thing as pornography.
Let me ask you this, imagine you are in a room with someone who you respect very much and they think of you the same way, a best friend or an important colleague, would you search this in front of them?
The answer is no. It’s porn bro.

Right now, I’m on Day 3. Yeah, it’s nothing but this is only the beginning.
A story about someone doing initiate things will increase your dopamine just as much as watching it, perhaps slightly less but it’s still porn.

Stop making excuses is what I’ve told myself. I’m 30 and married.
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Excuses? For goddamn reading words? Who read sex story in front of their family and friends? Sound like personal issues to me, no matter how addicted to pmo i am, i never actually have to do in front of people...

You're already married... But what make u think u have pmo addiction?
 
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TrevorDun said:
You’re kidding, right? I just signed up and I didn’t read the agreements so I’m not sure how detailed I can go into this topic. But I will say, that looking up family taboo and reading such stories (just writing this is actually giving me a sense of relief because I’ve never shared this with anyone) is the same thing as pornography.
Let me ask you this, imagine you are in a room with someone who you respect very much and they think of you the same way, a best friend or an important colleague, would you search this in front of them?
The answer is no. It’s porn bro.

Right now, I’m on Day 3. Yeah, it’s nothing but this is only the beginning.
A story about someone doing initiate things will increase your dopamine just as much as watching it, perhaps slightly less but it’s still porn.

Stop making excuses is what I’ve told myself. I’m 30 and married.
Click to expand...

hey brother,

I think what you need to do is look at the goal someone sets for themselves.

the example you have about “would you do this in front of someone you respect” isn’t a great example. There are things I would share with my brothers regarding sexual experiences that I wouldn’t share with my sisters. I respect them both equally, however there are many examples someone can give that they do wouldn’t do around someone they respect despite the action not being an issue such as sex, I can talk to my brother about sex, I won’t talk to my sister about sex, respect has nothing to do with it.

if his goal is to relinquish porn and masturbation or PIED, then you can’t equate sex stories to porn. Sex stories does not set off the same level of dopamine as sex stories. Personally, I don’t read sex stories, I think they are a waste of time (never read a sex story in my life). I also no longer watch porn or masturbate.

the idea that any form of dopamine release affects a reboot is crazy in my opinion.i don’t believe normal dopamine release is the issue, I believe it’s the abnormal level of dopamine release you get from porn that becomes the issue. When I did my reboot, everyone told me my way would never work. My way was to give up porn and masturbation, that’s it. I use to suffer from sever PIED.

I still looked at attractive women I saw walking past me

I watched movies that had a little sexual tension and kissing scenes.

I was still trying to have sex and orgasm (can now have success sex with no issues)

I drank my 2 coffees a day

basically, I didn’t opposite of what most people told me to do, and I am completely healed of my PIED and haven’t watched porn or masturbated in a very long time (I don’t keep count of days but I would say it’s about half a year now).

sometimes people overthink this entire process too much. I am not saying someone needs to read sex stories, what I am trying to establish is why people believe something like sex stories is the equivalence of porn in regarding a “physical” healing. If it’s a moral that’s in question, I can understand, however if the claim is sex stories hinders a reboot, there needs to be more proof than someone saying “it’s sets off dopamine receptors”. Everything in life sets off dopamine.
 
I don’t even know what a reboot is and I don’t care to search so if you truly feel the need to respond to this then you can tell me what it is.

Bottom line, reading sex stories are the same thing as watching open. And yes, I am talking about physical healing. This isn’t your playing field because you haven’t read one sex story before.
You read enough s**t about families effing each other and masturbating to the thought of that then you are 100% discontinuing any healing process that you have set forth.
Now, I was bluffing about sex stories releasing the same amount of dopamine when compared to porn.
But I’m sure it does increase dopamine in the same way I.e. needing more and more and more to produce the same effect.

Don’t get me wrong, we are all in this together. I hope this guy originally posting this can understand that he is not doing himself any favors by reading sex stories.
 
Keepitsimple1989 said:
hey brother,

I think what you need to do is look at the goal someone sets for themselves.

the example you have about “would you do this in front of someone you respect” isn’t a great example. There are things I would share with my brothers regarding sexual experiences that I wouldn’t share with my sisters. I respect them both equally, however there are many examples someone can give that they do wouldn’t do around someone they respect despite the action not being an issue such as sex, I can talk to my brother about sex, I won’t talk to my sister about sex, respect has nothing to do with it.

if his goal is to relinquish porn and masturbation or PIED, then you can’t equate sex stories to porn. Sex stories does not set off the same level of dopamine as sex stories. Personally, I don’t read sex stories, I think they are a waste of time (never read a sex story in my life). I also no longer watch porn or masturbate.

the idea that any form of dopamine release affects a reboot is crazy in my opinion.i don’t believe normal dopamine release is the issue, I believe it’s the abnormal level of dopamine release you get from porn that becomes the issue. When I did my reboot, everyone told me my way would never work. My way was to give up porn and masturbation, that’s it. I use to suffer from sever PIED.

I still looked at attractive women I saw walking past me

I watched movies that had a little sexual tension and kissing scenes.

I was still trying to have sex and orgasm (can now have success sex with no issues)

I drank my 2 coffees a day

basically, I didn’t opposite of what most people told me to do, and I am completely healed of my PIED and haven’t watched porn or masturbated in a very long time (I don’t keep count of days but I would say it’s about half a year now).

sometimes people overthink this entire process too much. I am not saying someone needs to read sex stories, what I am trying to establish is why people believe something like sex stories is the equivalence of porn in regarding a “physical” healing. If it’s a moral that’s in question, I can understand, however if the claim is sex stories hinders a reboot, there needs to be more proof than someone saying “it’s sets off dopamine receptors”. Everything in life sets off dopamine.
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And the whole having someone sit in the same room thing was an example used to show that a typical person wouldn’t dare look up sex stories with someone he/she respected being in the same room. Respect, love, admired…just someone close to that person.
It was a simple example and was not meant to be interpreted literally like you and the original poster did.
 
TrevorDun said:
And the whole having someone sit in the same room thing was an example used to show that a typical person wouldn’t dare look up sex stories with someone he/she respected being in the same room. Respect, love, admired…just someone close to that person.
It was a simple example and was not meant to be interpreted literally like you and the original poster did.
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What I am saying is the comment you make “sex stories is the Same as porn” is a very big statement to make. It really comes down to what the individual is trying to achieve.

sex stories, if the person avoids porn and masturbation, isn’t going to have the same psychological and ED affect as porn because the dopamine release you get when watching visual porn is on a much higher scale then porn stories. Dopamine release isn’t a problem if it’s within the normal range of dopamine release, the problem is if it’s an abnormal release and porn it’s self releases abnormal levels of dopamine, sex stories is not like porn if the goal is to avoid porn visually and if it’s to resolve PIED

looking at women that walk past me releases dopamine

Fantasising about my former sex flings releases dopamine

thinking about women releaseses dopamine

I did all of this and I was still able to kick porn and masturbation to the curb and also able to resolve my ED issues.

everyone has different goals.
 
We need to build the right mindset that PORNs are FAKE!
They are created to stimulate unnecessary desires!
They have nothing to do with human reproduction and in the opposite, is very harmful to it.
There is no "need" to masturbate, not like drinking and eating.
You won't die without masturbation!
You MUST build this mindset to shield yourself from anything that can stimulate your desires!
Keep moving!
I have done NOFAP for almost 700 days! Never feel so good with my brain and body!
 
You won't die for living like a monk or being single for the rest of your life either... but I'm not sure that's the right way to live (unless you really want to live like a hermit).
Fighting a problem going to the total opposite extreme, most of the times, is not the right choice. The desires are what makes people "evolve" because it's the reason to fight for. I totally agree regarding porn, the right mindset is to totally avoid it forever, because it only creates problems, and I can still agree regarding the rest but, for me, ONLY for a limited amount of time, like a detox therapy, but not for the rest of your life.
 
kenshin81 said:
ONLY for a limited amount of time, like a detox therapy, but not for the rest of your life.
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I’ve been quitting porn on NoFap for eight years now, and never found a point where I can M safely, let alone read erotica. All of this exaggerated sexuality, using sex for selfish pleasure, is a rotting corpse, and we keep trying to find excuses to cuddle up to it. We keep trying to find excuses, because sexual fantasy is the only tool we have learned to cope with the bitterness of life. We escape into a world where the things we want are permissible, fun, beautiful even, instead of shameful and gross… but we are continually forced back into reality, where we are disgusting creeps and the escape is not worth the return trip.

Find a new coping mechanism. Don’t seek ever lighter versions of the old, corrupt one. It. Doesn’t. Work.
 
Meshuga said:
I’ve been quitting porn on NoFap for eight years now, and never found a point where I can M safely, let alone read erotica. All of this exaggerated sexuality, using sex for selfish pleasure, is a rotting corpse, and we keep trying to find excuses to cuddle up to it. We keep trying to find excuses, because sexual fantasy is the only tool we have learned to cope with the bitterness of life. We escape into a world where the things we want are permissible, fun, beautiful even, instead of shameful and gross… but we are continually forced back into reality, where we are disgusting creeps and the escape is not worth the return trip.

Find a new coping mechanism. Don’t seek ever lighter versions of the old, corrupt one. It. Doesn’t. Work.
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THANK YOU! Op thinks that sex stories aren’t Porn.

STOP MAKING EXCUSES!
 
kenshin81 said:
You won't die for living like a monk or being single for the rest of your life either... but I'm not sure that's the right way to live (unless you really want to live like a hermit).
Fighting a problem going to the total opposite extreme, most of the times, is not the right choice. The desires are what makes people "evolve" because it's the reason to fight for. I totally agree regarding porn, the right mindset is to totally avoid it forever, because it only creates problems, and I can still agree regarding the rest but, for me, ONLY for a limited amount of time, like a detox therapy, but not for the rest of your life.
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Imagine having a night out with friends talking about sex stories then you the only one in group just not wanting to be apart of it, now you need to give the most confusion and weird answer to them...

Everything have limits, sex stories and jokes count as porn? That's just illogical, because sex story is just illiterate of erotics, unlike actual pornography...

Now it goes beyond what supposed to be normal, I'm not planning in being a monk, I'm only cutting off pmo, also i have been went comedy stand up jokes about sex, or reading online about personal experiences, of course it going to get arousal and horny, but it never lead me to perform pmo... I can control myself.

What considered normalize, now become triggers and fear of relapse... One day i will drive myself into insanity... I guess it time for to stick with my own set of rules. That's pretty much from now on.

I'm considering trying to distract myself from fear and doubt of relapse, it's become mentally tortured.
 
Meshuga said:
I’ve been quitting porn on NoFap for eight years now, and never found a point where I can M safely, let alone read erotica. All of this exaggerated sexuality, using sex for selfish pleasure, is a rotting corpse, and we keep trying to find excuses to cuddle up to it. We keep trying to find excuses, because sexual fantasy is the only tool we have learned to cope with the bitterness of life. We escape into a world where the things we want are permissible, fun, beautiful even, instead of shameful and gross… but we are continually forced back into reality, where we are disgusting creeps and the escape is not worth the return trip.

Find a new coping mechanism. Don’t seek ever lighter versions of the old, corrupt one. It. Doesn’t. Work.
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So, I can't even watch comedy stand up joke about sex or read sex topic related anymore? From that i have always been relapse for long gone then, all those years without pmo ended with reading sex story? Hah I'm technically emotional tired...
 
123potatochamp said:
So, I can't even watch comedy stand up joke about sex or read sex topic related anymore? From that i have always been relapse for long gone then, all those years without pmo ended with reading sex story? Hah I'm technically emotional tired...
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You can do what you want to do. I have told this to you multiple times. You can do anything you want. You can say anything you want, you can talk to whoever you want, you can look at whoever you want, you can listen to whoever you want. It doesn't matter. None of it matters.

But if you want to quit porn. If you want to free yourself from the prison porn has put you in. Then you stay away from all things erotic. You stay away from sex stories, sex jokes, all things sexual.

If it's important to you to keep using erotic entertainment, fine. Do it. And accept the consequences, whatever they may be. What I don't want you to do, though, is come on to NoFap tomorrow, start a new thread, and say you haven't gotten an answer. I have answered. @fulfillingpotential_66 has answered. @TrevorDun has answered. @Keepitsimple1989, and @kenshin81 have answered. You have a range of opinions to select from, now you get to choose what to do.
 
Throw all your devices into the river and go live in the woods. It's the only way to avoid triggers...

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How many times are you going to make this exact thread? Why am I even replying to it? Is it really that hard to just avoid all sexual content as best you can to recover, and set out a list of things that count as relapses for you? The fact you haven't done this already despite people telling you a million times to do it leads me to think your intentions on this site are less than sincere. If that's not the case then I really don't know what the issue is - just don't consciously expose yourself to sex stuff.
 
123potatochamp said:
How come even sex story or jokes, reading or I'm saying it, share the same effect as watch actual porn that count as reset? Just how???? My own set of rules are cut off pmo only, I'm not planning to be a monk, or that i would slipped back to pmo again after reading those stories? Heck no, it won't lead to pmo at all, not as strong as actual porn...

To count that as reset, to me it's just a bit too much...
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I don’t know if it counts as a reset. But technically there is pornographic literature. I’ve lost a lot of progress with those in the past.

Personally I wouldn’t read anything like that if you’re trying to clear your porn influenced mind. I know if I read something. And haven’t been watching or fapping. It will drive me absolutely wild tbh. Honestly probably even more than watching anything could.

There is a reason there are probably millions of cheap “romance” novels that women used to always read. It’s because it’s thought porn. And it drives them up the walls and they probably run one out to them.

So I’d definitely consider it porn imo. If that counts as a reset, is up to you.
 
123potatochamp said:
So, I can't even watch comedy stand up joke about sex or read sex topic related anymore? From that i have always been relapse for long gone then, all those years without pmo ended with reading sex story? Hah I'm technically emotional tired...
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For you I’d say. Reading sex stories is a pornographic outlet. It’s mind porn. Watching stand up, and they make a sex joke is not. I would never consider that pornographic. Listening to someone tell a detailed and charged sex story (assuming they are not telling a joke or saying it in a completely non sexually way at the time) would be considered pornographic. It’s erotic to read or listen to. Hearing some comedian joke about sex is not erotic at all. To me at least.

If you’re watching a Hollywood blockbuster and they start having sex, you didn’t just reset. If you are reading a high fantasy novel and there is a sex scene, you didn’t just reset. If you purposely went and read an erotic post or story, you did reset. If you purposely went to listen to an erotic story, you reset.

That’s how I would consider it
 
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