Well into reboot but met a girl

Discussion in 'Dating during a Reboot' started by RocketBoy37, Jun 16, 2019.

  1. RocketBoy37

    RocketBoy37 New Fapstronaut

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    Yo, was hoping I could pls get some other perspectives on this.

    Ive only had sex a few times in my life, with the same girl, and like half the time I experienced ED. I imagine it was a mix of very bad porn addiction and performance anxiety. Since then Ive been rebooting, and in total i have 108 days without PMO, but I did reset it 3 times. A couple of times I masturbated, and another time I reset it as I felt that I was cheating by looking at social media images every now and then. Im now at a point where my will power is very strong and I don't get an urge to PMO at all. Currently on day 33 since the last reset.

    Ive just met a girl, and I get the feeling that she'll want to have sex in a few weeks. I decided to check to see if I could get a boner, and unfortunetaly it was very difficult to get it up and also quite hard to maintain. I tried another couple of times and couldnt get it up at all, but I was quite nervous about it.

    I sort of feel like Im currently in a flatline, especially considering my mood is very up and down at the moment (ive been crying at the tiniest little things, but then having no care whatsoever over other things), and Im considering ending the reboot and starting to masturbate again to get my body back into a sexual state, also so I can practice a bit of self control so I don't immediately blow my load into this girl. Theres also the fact that I never really masturbated in the past without heavy porn. I feel that I need to train myself to get hard through touch and/or mental fantasy (realistic). Is this a reasonable thing to do? Or is it wiser to keep going with the reboot and just say no to sex and accept that things might end with this girl?

    At this point I dont feel any cravings for porn and I find myself very attracted to real women (well i did until this current flatline); I really do suspect that my main issue is anxiety.

    Thanks all! :) I'm glad to be making progress on this journey and hope someone can offer some advice.
     
    Dag likes this.
  2. Dag

    Dag Fapstronaut

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    Cool.

    I think is better to go for more reboot.

    Better to heal this shit from root and then build the correct sexuality paths for your brain.

    I was/am on the same page as you. Had this MILF that had sex with and wanted to keep going, but I coukd only get it hard with ths blue pill. And it was not enjoyable for me.

    Getting back to masturbation to get sexual again will ruin what you have built so better not do it. Looks like a bad idea.

    Just a couple of weeks to see if you get out of the flatline.
     
  3. Dag

    Dag Fapstronaut

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    Also don't lose your mind for one girl.

    There are many out there.

    Once we get done with this we will take care of that and it will be more enjoyable.
     
    7WolfOfWallStreet likes this.
  4. bigsam

    bigsam Fapstronaut

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    Lol! Dude you'll be fine. If you haven't been PMOing or taking sugar like a retard you cannot have ED with this girl. Just get your diet and the noFap thing right before the big day.. If you still don't feel confident that day, get some performance enhancement drug
     
  5. vam09

    vam09 New Fapstronaut

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    You’ll be good man I think you just gotta warm yourself up a little. Put your self in more close situations with her and see how it goes. By the time it’s for the main event you’ll be ready.
     
  6. Chilllidog

    Chilllidog Fapstronaut

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    Hey this is a really good question and a real genuine concern.

    I’ve had a bit of experience with this before I new PMO was even a thing.
    The issue I had, and you do too, is that you’ve never tried to be with a woman without the porn addiction. Having issues with you last GF (due to the PA) doesn’t get translate to what your experience will be with the next woman. Your literally a different human, preloaded with the memories of a bad experience.

    Remember, your first sexual encounter doesn’t have to be full sex, if your better off easing your way into a physical relationship then you need to be honest and say it. Girls and women do it all the time “I want to take it slow” “Let’s just fool around tonight - no sex”.
    If your a gentleman, and most are, we respect the request. But don’t forget you can request the same from her.
    But from what I remember, once the kissing started, and the few layers came off, I just went with the flow - clumsy yes! Quick yep! But I got better.

    I believe, after substantial noFap time, your erection is equally a product of romance and mental stimulus as it is physical - and you won’t know until the day.

    I strongly urge you to take the sex slowly, remove the pressure so you don’t ruin the relationship over this one hang up.

    Lastly, you could visit your GP to be sure there isn’t anything medically going on, but I doubt that would be the case.
     
  7. RocketBoy37

    RocketBoy37 New Fapstronaut

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    I think you hit the nail on the head here. Unfortunetaly I hadn't seen these reponses before we ended up having sex. I guess I was way too eager to jump into it to "test" myself, as I got very anxious and couldn't get it up. Ended up using the blue pill and it worked well. The other problem was that when she noticed I couldn't get it up she immediately assumed it was because of her body, and became visibly distressed, which only increased my anxiety ten-fold.

    I think I need to have an open honest talk with her about what I'm dealing with, and just take things slow like you said, without any expectation or end goal. Thanks again for the replies guys
     
  8. Your view on sexuality is deteriorated by porn. The girl's view as well. That's why you needed to use the blue pill like porn stars do.

    You might just face the fact that getting rid of PMO also means that your previous understanding of sex life is off the table and you need to develop a new more natural approach to it.
     

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