well, this is it.

rainpath · Apr 19, 2019

I don't know how to start this.

I'm 32 years old. currently jobless. I'm going to university. writing my dissertation. well actually failing to write my dissertation. I might drop out.

clearly I have depression. I think I had it for a long time. I'm addicted to porn. it's been I think two days since the last time I watch. I have suicidal thoughts also of self-harm. I had them for long time. they come and go.

I have a problem with procrastination. I also have stress, a lot. it's been a source of many pains in my life. I have IBD. where I live the drug that I need for it. it's very expensive and very hard to get. so I started to ration it out. so far no problem.

and now I have to decided to not watch porn anymore. because it doesn't make anything better.

thanks for reading this.

Deleted Account · Apr 19, 2019

Welcome to the community.

Deleted Account · Apr 19, 2019

rainpath said: ↑

I don't know how to start this.

I'm 32 years old. currently jobless. I'm going to university. writing my dissertation. well actually failing to write my dissertation. I might drop out.

clearly I have depression. I think I had it for a long time. I'm addicted to porn. it's been I think two days since the last time I watch. I have suicidal thoughts also of self-harm. I had them for long time. they come and go.

I have a problem with procrastination. I also have stress, a lot. it's been a source of many pains in my life. I have IBD. where I live the drug that I need for it. it's very expensive and very hard to get. so I started to ration it out. so far no problem.

and now I have to decided to not watch porn anymore. because it doesn't make anything better.

thanks for reading this.
Click to expand...

Well good! Why not give it a go? You're not alone...

Deleted Account · Jun 5, 2020

Hi @rainpath, all the best to you! If you want to join 'The Matrix' challenge click here ---> 'The Matrix' <---

rainpath · Aug 29, 2020

so it's been more than a year since I joined this forum. I'm still addicted to porn. it's been my second day off the porn. I had a relapsed after a five day streak. and now I'm trying again. I have been drinking coca cola a lot and I'm trying to get rid of that too. the last time I've drink was two days ago. since the I had headaches and this craving for anything sweet (sugar). so far I haven't touch any kind of drinks, except water and sometimes lemons. my cycle procrastination regarding university and work got me into a lot of problem. lots of anxiety, suicidal thoughts , ... hitting myself and I'm afraid I might lose it and break down in front of my family. also failing to write my dissertation is just another weight of stress on my shoulders. also I have to take my routine blood tests for My IBD problem. which I've known is aggravated by stress.
so that's where I am and the end of my line.

I don't expect anything from writing this here. I just wanted to let it out. that's it.

Deleted Account · Aug 31, 2020

Hello there...
Welcome to the community

rainpath · Sep 5, 2020

so it's been 8 days. I had some small relapses. like check some girls pictures, .... but interesting thing is I didn't feel anything about it. it's actually made me feel more depressed that I still try to look these stuff up as soon as I feel any kind of anxiety or stress. It's like an automatic response to me. but so far I manage to stay strong. and I know it's just a week, but I'm already seeing some improvement in my mood. everything from sunlight, colors, smells, sounds, ... feels different somehow. it's like I feel more present, more alive. although the first 3 days was very difficult. I'm also 8 days off the coca cola. there were moments that I felt dizzy and tempted to get the drink but I didn't budge. my IBD routine blood test came back, everything seems good. although my fast blood sugar was a little high. which by removing sugar drinks from my life, I'm sure it's gonna come down.
any way just wanted to give some words out. thanks for reading this.

Robbiebob · Sep 5, 2020

So glad you are here my friend and I pray you do well & more... Rob.

rainpath · Sep 23, 2020

I relapsed.

Deleted Account · Sep 25, 2020

rainpath said: ↑

I relapsed.
Click to expand...

You're gonna be okay. It's Friday! It's been two days since. Just checking in on you. Hope you're okay. Your life is worth it and you know so too cause you're here on nofap, which means you're a fighter! Stay strong. I got your hand to pick you up when you stumble and fall.
If you're feeling low, I recommend a good upbeat song. This album I find is a good pick me up for when I'm down in the dumps. It can seem a little corny but let it give you joy! It's worth it : https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=OLAK5uy_kHC2KgnzrxiJJsbqG1EUT7--yzLuvr0F0

farmer28 · Sep 26, 2020

rainpath said: ↑

I relapsed.
Click to expand...

Im new posting on here, even though I joined over a year ago and have not yet been successful at giving it up. Addiction is something we will deal with for the rest of our lives. Relapse, procrastination, and the drive to distraction are not things to be ashamed about, this is not easy that is why we are here. I have the same issue and we are both working to escape the trap of the quick dopamine release that makes us feel better for a second, but takes us away from our lives. Tomorrow is day 1 for me (day 1 for the 50th? time), so Ill be with you on your journey rainpath. This time I mean it and I hear you have reached a similar breaking point too. Youre not a failure!! You deserve to finish your dissertation and live in the present of your life! Its going to be a struggle but we have to keep trying and we can do it with help from this community. Im here for you too!! Stay strong ❤️

rainpath · Sep 26, 2020

farmer28 said: ↑

Im new posting on here, even though I joined over a year ago and have not yet been successful at giving it up. Addiction is something we will deal with for the rest of our lives. Relapse, procrastination, and the drive to distraction are not things to be ashamed about, this is not easy that is why we are here. I have the same issue and we are both working to escape the trap of the quick dopamine release that makes us feel better for a second, but takes us away from our lives. Tomorrow is day 1 for me (day 1 for the 50th? time), so Ill be with you on your journey rainpath. This time I mean it and I hear you have reached a similar breaking point too. Youre not a failure!! You deserve to finish your dissertation and live in the present of your life! Its going to be a struggle but we have to keep trying and we can do it with help from this community. Im here for you too!! Stay strong ❤️
Click to expand...

thanks for the encouragement.

IndianBasementDweller · Sep 26, 2020

rainpath said: ↑

I don't know how to start this.

I'm 32 years old. currently jobless. I'm going to university. writing my dissertation. well actually failing to write my dissertation. I might drop out.

clearly I have depression. I think I had it for a long time. I'm addicted to porn. it's been I think two days since the last time I watch. I have suicidal thoughts also of self-harm. I had them for long time. they come and go.

I have a problem with procrastination. I also have stress, a lot. it's been a source of many pains in my life. I have IBD. where I live the drug that I need for it. it's very expensive and very hard to get. so I started to ration it out. so far no problem.

and now I have to decided to not watch porn anymore. because it doesn't make anything better.

thanks for reading this.
Click to expand...

what is your daily routine, what tasks do you do everyday? I personally believe that the reason why people relapse is mainly because they don't do anything during the day, so they automatically just start pumping their dicks and relapse. To get your mind off of porn, I recommend you do something you aren't good at or something productive. For example, I read books, practice my handwriting, learn c++, play crusader kings 2, learn about history etc, and this keeps me from jacking off. This doesn't mean I haven't relapsed, when I relapse I just don't feel bad about it, I just take a deep breath and carry on with my life.

IndianBasementDweller · Sep 26, 2020

rainpath said: ↑

I have a problem with procrastination.
Click to expand...

Also mate, I highly recommend you look through this free course (check below), the the videos are under 10 minutes long so it won't take much off your time. Helped me a lot with how to properly understand the material I'm learning and helped me avoid procrastination as well. A tip I would like to give with procrastination is that, before you go to bed, take a piece of paper and write down what tasks you want to do the next day and force yourself to do. You can't beat procrastination unless you force yourself to do it, once you start doing the task, you will actually start enjoying it.

Course name - Learning how to learn: Powerful mental tools to help you master tough subjects
You can find the course on a website called coursera and its completely free.

Log in

well, this is it.

rainpath Fapstronaut

Deleted Account Guest

Deleted Account Guest

Deleted Account Guest

rainpath Fapstronaut

Deleted Account Guest

rainpath Fapstronaut

Robbiebob Fapstronaut

rainpath Fapstronaut

Deleted Account Guest

farmer28 Fapstronaut

rainpath Fapstronaut

IndianBasementDweller New Fapstronaut

IndianBasementDweller New Fapstronaut

Share This Page