Wet dreams during hard mode

Ok. So I've been to hell and back during the past 7 weeks. I'll never forget that month and how tormenting it was HOCD wise. It all started when I went hard mode for 28 days and then relapsed (masturbation only, no porn or even porn fantasy). That's when my HOCD came back after 5 years of being more or less a non problem. After the relapse, my mind was literally looking for any reason to orgasm, no matter how stupid or perverted, and the HOCD was nothing short of a demonic possession. But I powered on through, overcame the urges and felt more balanced as I went on. I made it to 7 weeks.

Yesterday, however, my stupid body decided to flush it all down the toilet and have a wet dream (there wasn't any dreaming, actually, but I woke up to a wet blanket). Initially I tried not to make a big deal out of it (it wasn't my fault, after all). I cleaned up all the mess, took a shower and tried to go back to sleep. Well, I couldn't! The urges (chaser effect) were horrible, and the extent to which anything I imagined became sexualized is truly ugly.

Go ahead and tell me this the end of my very hard-won streak, and that I'll probably go through the same symptoms I did 7 weeks ago!

 

I masturbated that night as well. It really wasn't a "dream" at all I don't recall any images or fantasies I just woke up and realized I was wet. Now if it hadn't been midnight and I was being battered by my brain while trying to fall asleep again after waking up to the wet dream then I probably would have been able to resist and power on through (ironically, I still couldn't get enough sleep or quell the urges that night so damned if you do damned if you don't), but my penis was so up that night after cleaning up all the mess, I think I went to pee 5 or 6 times before finally giving in and jerking off.

I've been addicted to porn for 7 years (mostly lesbian porn). I haven't been watching a lot of porn during the past 3 years though (except the occasional relapse) but the damage to my dopamine receptors was already done and I still masturbated every 2 to 4 days. Still, I was more or less HOCD-free for years until I decided to go hard mode 2 months ago.

The HOCD was horrible after going hard mode, and the porn urges were so strong the intrusive sexual thoughts were about porn I'd never even watched or seen (mostly gay and shockingly brutal stuff but also bestiality like women and horses!). I think a good part of porn-induced sexual OCD is about our brain "searching for the next porn cues" and trying to take our porn addiction to the next level so it's not just about past sexual conditioning.

Anyway are there ways to prevent wet dreams during reboot? I don't want to go through hell only for my brain to stab me in the back (or should I say bottom front lol!) while my guard is down.

 

Yeah and wake up to pee every 10 minutes for the next 2 hours.

 

Thing is I didn't even have a dream. My brain wasn't fantasizing about anything I didn't see anything it was just my f*****g d*ck I woke up and found out I was all wet and next thing you know crazy cravings as well as mad intrusive thoughts.

As far as I can tell, this is the body reaching its limit, but this limit is probably the very thing being redefined by the process of rebooting and the chaser effect won't always be as horrible (unless you deliberately relapse proper).

The only thing we can do is to try to accept the fact that there will be a chaser effect for a day or three (each person is different though) with all the horrible stuff that come with chaser like cravings and intrusive thoughts, and power on through and stick to the program.

I really can't wait for flatline. I'm told flatline is when your brain is readjusting itself proper.

 

Update: another wet f***ing dream (it's only been a week since I had my first one after going hard mode). This time, however, I didn't masturbate after waking up because I don't want the dreaded chaser effect to be twice as strong. The "dream" wasn't even sexy, no images (porn or otherwise) just rear view of myself jerking off (weird I know). I was literally a thought or two away from relapsing to porn today after waking up because the chaser effect was savage (still is). All the groinals during the day (ERP) are creating tension down there which although feels more like anticipation than arousal when I'm having it, the body tries to dispense with it through nocturnal emissions when I go to sleep.

I'm not doing ERP in the sense of deliberately exposing myself to triggering material. I'm not fantasizing or anything, but (literally) just going about my life and daily activities (seeing people, watching movies, etc) which otherwise my HOCD would like me to avoid. I don't mind the groinal response during the day because it's part of OCD training, but how the hell do I convince my body not to use it as an excuse to ejaculate when I'm asleep?

God this is torture. Damned if you do damned if you don't!

 

Fault or no fault, I go through some of the worst symptoms after a wet dream (cravings, intrusive thoughts, groinals, etc) even though there would be no fantasy or intentional relapse after the fact. When a normal (non-addict) person has a wet dream, it's exactly how you describe it, but when an addict on a streak has a wet dream, it's the brain's way of getting its fix. Even people with porn-induced ED can have wet dreams and when your thing doesn't work due to overstimulation and you still get wet dreams it's not your body's natural way of sexual release but the brain's way of getting its dopamine hit.

I was on day 48 hard mode and my brain was really feeling like it was starting to balance out, but come my first wet dream and I couldn't feel worse. It may be different for each person and their goals and reasons for doing nofap but in my case wet dreams are my new nightmares.