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Discussion in 'Self Improvement' started by Jrmz94, Oct 30, 2019.
What are some of your personal goals?
1. Continue living life with 100% honesty (this is new for me). No lies. Ever. No exceptions.
2. Invite supportive men and women into my life, and offer support to men and women in my life. This means I want a true connection with family and friends. (I haven't seen my 2 sisters in 5+ years; haven't seen or spoken to my brother in 20+ years; and, I haven't seen or spoken to my stepfather in 5+ years). On the plus side: I have made 2 friends in the past month. STATUS 11/12/2019: I am honored to have an Accountability Partner on nofap.com.
3. Start thinking about what I REALLY want to do with the remaining years of my life (I'm 48 years old and I have nothing to lose by trying).
4. Update my resume (with 100% honesty).
5. Start looking for other jobs (seasonal and "career"; been with the same company for almost 5 years now but work has been really slow the past few months and I'm suffering financially. I have zero savings. Also, I fear I could be fired/laid off soon, so the thought of at least updating my resume and looking for jobs NOW actually feels somewhat empowering). STATUS 11/08/19: Work has improved lately: closed 2 nice deals this week, which feels very relieving and boosts confidence. Feels like I might just be able to succeed at this job after all. Haven't even tried to apply for a seasonal/holiday job and I likely won't. The market is still slow, however, and I am not making the kind of money I made in 2018, but at least for now I have regained confidence. I likely won't need to consider a 401(K) loan or withdrawal this month. And in the future I believe things might turn for the better. But I STILL need to update my resume and keep my options open.
6. Continue tapering off alprazolam. Was on 2 mg. per day from June 2019-10/06/2019; started tapering on 10/06 from 2 mg. to 1.5 mg. per day. On 11/02/2019 I started tapering down from 1.5 mg. to 1.0 mg per day; I will start my next taper on 11/31/19 from 1 mg. to .5 mg per day. I will be done with alprazolam by end of February 2020 at the latest). STATUS 11/08/2019: Tapering process is going 100% smoothly. No major withdrawal symptoms whatsoever. Have struggled at times with sleep, but not nearly as bad as I feared. If I continue to feel this good, then I will move up the next taper date from 11/31/19 to 11/28/19 (Thankgiving Day). Feels incredible to me that by month's end I'll have tapered down to .5 mg. per day, which will be my lowest daily dose over the last 4-5 years.
7. Divorce my wife (date set to file/petition the state for a non-contested divorce: Tuesday, November 12, 2019, at 11 a.m.) STATUS 11/12/2019: Wife and I filed for a non-contested divorce on 11/12/2019. Divorce hearing set for Tuesday, December 3, 2019, 9 AM. Assuming all goes as planned, judge will grant our divorce on 12/3/2019.
8. Remove my soon-to-be ex-wife from my employer-sponsored health benefits during open enrollment in mid-November 2019, which will take effect Jan 1, 2020 (I advised my wife of this).
9. Spread my mother's ashes into the Gulf no later than end of Thankgiving holiday weekend 2019 (she died in 2009; scared as hell to do this because I don't want to lose the last remnant I have of her, other than my memories and photos).
10. Research living in Canada. STATUS 11/09/2019: I have re-evaluated my goals and this is something I no longer want to accomplish. But I am still open to moving elsewhere. I love where I live and work but I have no wife, children, family, or (sadly) no close friends. This means I am free to wander the globe, and it actually feels exciting and powerful.
11. Re-check my 401(k) balance and consider a complete 401 (k)withdrawal or a 401(k) loan. Know my options. See if my company is willing to do this. (I live in a beautiful expensive apartment and I intend to see my lease through to the end: May 31, 2019).
12. Read/research non-animal protein diet
13. Continue taking test cypionate at 100 mg. per week then discontinue it after I run out (my former physician diagnosed me with "low testosterone" and prescribed at 200 mg. per week. I respectfully disagree: I don't need it, and even at 100 mg. per week, I still feel like I am abusing it. No more refills. Was taking 200 mg. per week but starting OCT 13th 2019 I cut the dose in half.)
14. Continue limiting coffee consumption to 1 K-cup per day, first thing in the morning (was consuming 6+ K-cups per day).
15. Pay an outstanding $267.00 collection fee or at least dispute it when I receive my 3 credit reports (I feel like I have a legitimate, honest reason to dispute and I have nothing to lose by trying, but I will pay it if necessary).
16. Obtain all 3 credit reports and review the reports and make sure that my credit is 100% clean. STATUS 11/08/2019: On 11/03/2019 I ordered all 3 credit reports to be sent to me via mail. 15 days to my mailbox so I expect to have them by month's end.
17. Assume financial responsibility for my auto insurance (my wife has paid for my auto insurance since 2015; time to man up. Next payment is due 11/28/19; I have asked the auto insurance company to transfer payments to my checking account, to be debited on 11/28/2019). STATUS 11/13/2019: I paid my wife for the monthly amount due on 11/28/2019.
STATUS 11/09/2019: I still haven't transferred my banking information, but I did advise my soon-to-be-ex-wife that I will pay her for the next monthly amount due when we see each other at the courthouse on 11/12/2019 to file our divorce. I am doing this to ensure that my wife actually shows up at court to file the divorce.
18. Get tested for STDs (confront the fear; no excuses. I have no symptoms but I slept around for a few years. I lived a reckless, promiscuous, whoring lifestyle and now I have to accept the consequences.) STATUS 11/08/2019: Visited health clinic on 11/07/2019 and submitted urine and blood samples for HIV and STD testing. I will know the results by 11/21/2019.
I would first of all like to see a boost in energy and motivation. Right now I am motivated to change yes, but I also want to be motivated to change other problems with myself. I am alittle stuck right now :/
My energy levels are quite low and i sleep a lot of the time, like 9-10 hours a day. This kills all time i have to be able to spend time self reflecting. So I would also like to change that.
From hearing about nofap reboot benefits, I would also one day like to be able to reach a clearer mindset, and to be able to think clearly about my actions and my own emotions.
Speaking of emotions, I would like to be able to gain a harness on my emotions. Right now if I get emotional, i run rampant. I find it hard to do any of the things I have set for myself in my goals. I scare myself into believing there is no space for me on this world. It is important for this to change sooner rather than later to avoid relapses.
I would one day like to be able to mentor others about NoFap and changing key parts about their personality that make it hard for them to achieve their goals. I feel bad asking people for help, so being able to give back once I have reached my goal will make me feel better about asking help from everyone.
I would like to be able to hold the job I currently have, as I enjoy it, the time goes fast while I'm at work and i find the job comfortable, I don't have to overwork myself nor under-work myself.
Spending more time researching myself, and my emotions is another goal. I want to look into myself and be able to identify whats wrong and change that in an instant.
My god man,seems like you have a very well thought out plan
I want to make it to 90 days without fapping. I've had this goal for a long time, so it's time for me to stop making excuses. I also want to be able to control my gaze better. I want to stop staring at cleavage or asses.
I don't have any.
I have some many goals but i feel only fear to accomplish all of them.may be its a side effect of nofap?
@BENDERCHAT I thank you for sharing that you have goals and that you have fears. Every single one of my goals involves fear, too, but with God's help, and others' help, I'm pursuing each goal despite the fear. Though I'm still not 100% convinced that God exists, I pray to God every day (several times a day) for understanding, acceptance, and forgiveness. I'm humbly asking God to remove my anger, pride, and ego. And it's helping! I have never felt happier and more blessed. I have rough days, but I also have moments of pure inner peace, like I just KNOW that it's gonna be OK no matter what. What a blessing!
I used to avoid pursuing my goals because I was afraid. For many years I chose the quick, easy path. I let fear control my life, and it only alienated me from myself and from people. I lived a life of lies and dysfunction, never realizing how my actions affected other people.
But now I am moving forward, and I am inviting, even embracing, fear. Each goal has its challenges, and I don't expect to accomplish any of them easily.
I hope you have a great day and that you pursue your goals despite your fears.
Thx im on day 43.i believe that future is bright for us.good luck...
Increasing my faith
Try not to focus on goals, focus on the system.
Getting shredded. Going well so far.
What does that mean in practice?
Inspirational posts all the best for your goals. Well done on how far you have come!
@George2019 thank you for your kind words! I appreciate your support. Blessings to you and congratulations on 113 days meeting your goals.
My goals for December 31 2019:
- 53 days of NoFap
- Follow my gym program and pay attention to diet. (I want to see a difference from my first transformation photo I took 2 weeks ago)
- Finished reading 48 laws of power and everything is f*cked
- Want to speak a bit of Portugese (started learning the language on Duolingo)
- Make sure I follow all of my new and good habits.
I will update my goals on the 1st of January.