What are some cheap ways to improve my social life

Discussion in 'Self Improvement' started by himmelstoss, May 16, 2015.

  1. himmelstoss

    himmelstoss Fapstronaut

    I'll be returning to the workforce soon and hopefully living on my own, but with the cost of everything going up, how can I improve my social life? One of my aunt's friends was a poor single mom who never went out to eat so she could put her son through college, but because of that she had no friends other than my aunt. I really don't want to do this because being isolated from society has taken me to some really dark, miserable places, and so far I've missed out on an important part of the human experience (as childish as that sounds.) But self imporvement seems really expensive lately. Expensive hobbies ($170 a month for MMA), expensive clothes (to show people you care about how you look and that you're not a social cripple,) the cost of protein, etc etc etc. Doesn't help that most of the women my age are probably looking to settle down (meaning they're at a completely different point in their lives that I am.) and the ones that arent...well...they're still looking for some things I don't have yet.

    Tried meetup.com but it looks like for the most part everything people want to do is either expensive or conflicts with my schedule.

    Meanwhile, a budget my aunt helped me draw up last summer left me with less than $100 per month after taxes and expenses, all of which I would probably need to save in case I got laid off. That's with lowball estimates for certain expenses. I'm really not looking forward to the rest of my life.
    ClearAsMud(Al) likes this.
  2. firdi

    firdi Guest

    Very sorry about your financial situation. I'd like to comment that imrovement in social life does come with increased opportunities towards a better standard of living. That being said, the one free tip I can give you is that people are selfish creatures who need you more then you need them but they have a sixth sense for manipulation. Think of it, power is what makes things move. Electricity (power) moves a fan, glows a light and heats your food. The things your looking for need some power to get fulfilled. Maybe you think it's money. But it also means that you can detach from your needs and examine them. What do you see? It's exactly what others want. Who gives it to them? The person with power over them.
    Last edited by a moderator: May 16, 2015
  3. In the company that I currently work for, I have learned that any social event organised through work that can be affordably attended should be, as scary as they may seem.
    WhiteSoul likes this.
  4. In my case:
    1) stop approaching social situations from the perspective of taking something (affirmation, friendship, love, sex)
    2) don't pretend to be someone you are not (low selfesteem + wanting to take = pretending to be someone else = being a manipulator / pleaser)

    approach situation from a perspective of giving. Give some attention, affirmation, support. Expect nothing in return.
  5. fredisthebes

    fredisthebes Fapstronaut

    As you are returning to the workforce, what work are you doing? Is it sociable work, do you get to meet people and work along side other people?

    JackStrident's suggestion is a good one... I made a good friend by offering to help her out when she was moving house, just helping her load up/unload the van then we shared a cup of tea and had a chat. Help out where you can, listen to people and be interested in them and what is going on with their lives, and they will want to spend time with you. And in much more fulfilling ways than just 'going out'.
    Getter Better and ClearAsMud(Al) like this.
  6. Immor

    Immor Fapstronaut

    You need to get out of the victim mentality and see things more positively.
    Noone is stopping you from looking for a better job or side income if that one really isn't enough.
    I also think your MMA training is overpriced, unless you get one on one tutoring.

    Just talk to people. It doesn't really cost anything, unless you feel the need to invite them for coffee.
    You can also do some cheap outdoor activities like jogging, walking, hiking, swimming, parkour, slacklining, bouldering, urban exploring, ...

    That can easily get you a "sexual harassment" claim. I would be careful with those.
  7. :) @Immor Probably aplies to
    Last edited: May 17, 2015
  8. Limeaid

    Limeaid Guest

    Volunteering for your community is free and there are usually lots of like minded people. A few weekends ago I volunteered to "beautify" my community sign. There were literally 25 people there digging, planting, weeding, mowing, laughing and talking! It was great. Find something in your community that interests you and volunteer.

    If you want to go on a free/cheap date there are a ton of options! Hike in the woods, bike riding, make her food at your house (spaghetti is cheap!), picnic in the park etc.
    ruso, *****, Deleted Account and 3 others like this.
  9. Kurapika

    Kurapika Guest

    Just as @Limeaid said : Volunteer in a charity.It's the best way for socializing and probably one of the best human activities as the people who volunteer are usually the people with the best ethical qualities as they sacrifice their time just to help others.
    Amukadi8 and firdi like this.
  10. nomo

    nomo Fapstronaut

    Look at meetup.com - Tons of cheap groups to join, many events are free or a few bucks for the day. Lots of hiking groups are listed in there, you find something you like to do.
    Amukadi8 likes this.
  11. MattRN

    MattRN Fapstronaut

    I would look into outdoor groups.
    Hiking, biking you can go to popular places and make friends right there. Or join groups who go.
    Just be friendly and you will begin to make friends.
  12. jazzphanatic

    jazzphanatic Fapstronaut

    I agree with nomo,

    Meetup.com is a great way to meet new people and do a lot of things for free, or really inexpensive!
  13. MattRN

    MattRN Fapstronaut

    He says that he tried this site and it hasn't worked. Maybe finding people that you work with to do some activities.
  14. himmelstoss

    himmelstoss Fapstronaut

    I did find one meetup that I go to but I think it works better in big cities.

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