What are some good places to met people?

Discussion in 'Self Improvement' started by whydoineedanusername, Feb 7, 2020.

  1. whydoineedanusername

    whydoineedanusername Fapstronaut

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    Thanks to nofap I feel liberated from social awkardness, I feel like I can express myself without any problem. However, I don't have many people to talk to since I just moved in to a new city.

    Which places would you recommend for striking conversations with strangers? Sometimes I see interesting people on buses and I feel like talking to them but I can't avoid having the sensation that I might disturb them, how can approach these people casually and start a chat?

    Extra: I'm REALLY into listening to music, like, if musicworm was a real term, I would be one. Where could I find people irl with the same passion for diverse music? I'm not talking about people fanatic of one genre, I would like to talk to someone with different tastes in music and be able to share recommendations and such.
     
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  2. Check if your new city has some kind of community events website, or Facebook page. Facebook events is a great place to search for what's going on around you. You can even narrow your search down to music-related events.

    I've personally met most of my friends through church, so I'm not really sure where else to meet people, honestly. There's sort of a built in community with lots of events within a church. If you're open to it, that could be an option.

    But aside from that, I'm not really sure. Facebook would probably be a good place to start, though. Or ask your coworkers or anybody you do know, or hey even strangers, what they like to do for fun, or if there's some sort of place you can find community news and events for the town.
     
  3. I feel like a lot of people are super willing to make a new person feel welcome, if you just strike up a conversation and say you're new in town and are looking for places to meet people. Unless they're grumpy or antisocial, I feel like most people would be happy to give you some suggestions.
     
  4. SirWanksalot

    SirWanksalot Fapstronaut

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    This.
    As long as you are honestly curious about the person or just "where do I find X" then most people are super friendly. Some are not and then you just leave them alone. Can't blame you for trying and just being curious.

    Another idea is the tried and tested MeetUp Group. Even for someone very social and extroverted it's simply easier to connect via a shared interest and meetup groups hit the nail on the head there. You can search specifically for groups that focus on your passion for music.
    Hope that helps
     
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  5. blunt.ever

    blunt.ever Fapstronaut

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    In park, center, pubs or at gym. You might to find a place where you feel comfortable and chill (bar, pub, cafe) and to have friendship with the staff of there (sellers) or others clients.
    Another option is going in the club.
     
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  6. whydoineedanusername

    whydoineedanusername Fapstronaut

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    Thank you all for your complete and honest opinions, I really appreciate the effort putted into writing the answers.

    Ok then, imma head out! Stay strong!
     
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  7. Infrasapiens

    Infrasapiens Fapstronaut

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    A bank. Just try to have tact, everyone is already angry just for being there.
     
  8. Basilio

    Basilio Fapstronaut

    Dude, just talk to that person on the bus you find interesting. Don't give credit to people around you that might judge you, or laugh for doing it.

    I spent almost everyday for years chatting up girls I was attracted to just from the streets. Some of my best relationships and hook ups were from meeting randoms in broad day light.

    Just say "Hey, I noticed you from over there and thought I come by and say hi (put a smile on)". If she/he is not interested, or doesn't want to talk... that's not your problem guy. Everything after the introduction is out of your hands. Just be confident in your approach.

    I suggest giving yourself a number of people you want to talk to a day. Go for 3 a day, for 2 weeks and you'll have talked to 42 people already. Out of those 42, let's say 21 of them said hi back and started a conversation. If you think their cool, and you two get along, ask for their contact info (phone number, whats app, facebook, etc.). 10 of them will most likely give out their info to you, especially if you're just wanting to be friends, rather then hook up with them.

    After two weeks, you've made at least 10 solid contacts. Let's go!
     
  9. SirWanksalot

    SirWanksalot Fapstronaut

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    Very good and solid advice! Especially like the attitude and I wish more people would just chat up other people on the street. Met fascinating people and situations I never would have experienced developed from doing that over the years.
    In my circle of friends though I am literally the only guy who does that unfortunately and even the most extroverted people there just don't do it. I just had to do it though to break free from my extreme social anxiety back then.

    On the flip side it's surprising how friendly and open a good portion of the people are when they get approached. Sometimes it even seems like people are completely unaware that they actually want and enjoy that (depends on the context of course) as the social creatures that we are. Simple as that.

    I honestly hope that after we went through "the dark age of social media" (I know that there are also really great things to it but I am strictly talking in regards to authentic human connection here) people will come out of it and we have a renaissance of genuine human interaction again.

    Hearing more and more people speaking like this gives me hope that it's already beginning though. Recently even saw another guy chat up a girl on the street in broad daylight. He looked a bit clumsy but he got her number and I respect him for doing it.

    The younger kids are growing up with less and less real social interaction though so I am curious how that is going to develop.
     
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  10. Johnny Bozo

    Johnny Bozo Fapstronaut

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    Too many ideas to list.

    Local theater film clubs/discussions

    Art gallery classes/events

    Go with your gut instinct as a unique individual and the more time clean you get the more creative juices and spunk will be flowing to get you moving into places people congregate


    I like that idea better than say Meetup honestly nice Castille
     
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  11. SirWanksalot

    SirWanksalot Fapstronaut

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    Care to elaborate? What's the difference between Meetups and Facebook in your perspective?
     
  12. whydoineedanusername

    whydoineedanusername Fapstronaut

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    This is some really solid advice, thanks. This is exactly what I want to do, practice and practice until I just don't care if something goes wrong. I've always wanted to be the person who can have a conversation with anyone, anywhere, anytime; sadly, I grew up in a really dangerous city and it was absolutely forbidden for me to talk to strangers. But now that I can, I want do it!
     
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  13. whydoineedanusername

    whydoineedanusername Fapstronaut

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    I needed this, really. I just almost never talked to a stranger (except for directions) so I don't know exactly how they might react. This fills me with hope :)

    Wait, now that I think about it, I once had to make a survey on the streets for a study and it went awful. Literally the only person willing to answer the interview didn't speak any language in common with me (shoutout to that dude tho).

    Maybe I felt that I might disturb people because of that damned survey, but this is different because it's social and it's cool.

    The only step left is going out and try!
     
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  14. SirWanksalot

    SirWanksalot Fapstronaut

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    I once had to do a survey as well and as soon as people saw the clipboard the whole situation shifted lol
    That's one example of why I mentioned that it's context related.
    Generally speaking IF nothing happens, well, then NOTHING HAPPENS. Maybe not in the most dangerous place on earth (like in what city did you grow up in?) but either nothing happens or you win. That's a pretty good deal.

    Personally I am really happy that I got out of my "introvered shell" years ago and experimented to break free from my crippling social anxiety.
    Let me know how it goes for you and what you are trying. Curious to hear how it goes for you man.
    Best wishes
     
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  15. don'tlookbackinanger

    don'tlookbackinanger Fapstronaut

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    my best friends were made when i did something together with people.

    eating, cycling, exercising, shopping or simply learning something together ( for me it's my degree and languages)

    having something common to do makes it soo easy to talk

    it's not only that, then the people that really enjoy you introduce you to more friends and it only grows from there

    if you're a music person, concerts and performances are your way to go
     
  16. whydoineedanusername

    whydoineedanusername Fapstronaut

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    That's exactly my objective, kiss my shyness goodbye. I'm absolutely sure that I can do this, I guess I'll report the results here. I'm really grateful for this community, it's so supportive.

    BTW: I grew up in Caracas, it's literally on the top 3 most dangerous cities of the world today.

    Yeah, now that I'm in nofap, I'm really craving that kind of real interaction. Unlike before, I WANT to get invited to parties and met people. I'm considering going to some underground band concert or something like that lol
     
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