What are you guys doing when you feel the need for love?

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by Krillin1993, Nov 8, 2019.

  1. Krillin1993

    Krillin1993 Fapstronaut

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    Wether you are a men or a woman: What are you doing when you are sad and depressed and never had a girlfriend (or boyfriend) in your life? What are you doing when are lonely?
    Everytime, when I feel lonely, I catch myself in the same situation: I look behind love couples and feel myself worthless afterwards and think to myself "I will never reach the point to be in a relationship like they do"...and cry silently for myself. I know that woman all over the world are so superficial and no matter how high my self esteem is nobody will love me how I am, cause every woman saying that charakter/personality is important but nobody cares about personality when you have a mediocre to ugly looking (as a men), being a short guy, having some illnesses, being not that intelligent,being in situation without a work, having not that much money on the bank account, being not famous. Since as I realized how woman are I felt lost and start watching woman as negative creatures, thats because I experienced and knew only negative woman in my life, wether it are the people at my school, my old job, or strangers or my own family. It leads to my big shock. No woman are good but I wish the love of good woman and being close to them, which seems impossible to me. I know it sounds crazy but I dont know if there is any unconditionaly true love. I am really not sure. I dont put myself as a victim. I see what I see and what I see is that woman only put there focus for men when they are in a goo position. Nobody ask the question: What is when my love is handicaped or ill? Will I care for him? Do I love him and his nature? Every couple love themselves and have sex as they have no problem, but no one experienced really bad days and still be couples. When you say as a men I dont want kids or a family most woman will leave their guys alone and never come back. Thats because they get older and they wish a family but when they dont get what they want they will leave you and thats what makes me sad as a men. I am 26 years old and ask myself "Are there good woman left?"
    Yes I am a crybaby and I am really sad to see the reality. But we are not in the kindergarden anymore to live in an illusion, that people are honest to themselves. What are you thinking?
    Best regards
     
  2. Get_It

    Get_It Fapstronaut

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    Reach down and grab a hold! of your balls.
     
  3. IAmLegion

    IAmLegion Fapstronaut

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    Would've been a good joke if it actually served as good advice dude.
     
  4. Bragi

    Bragi Temporarily Suspended

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    It is a good advice. Maybe even the best one you can give. Grab your balls and start doing shit. Hustle. Kill your fears. Become more confident.
    Without balls it's not possible.

    And... My advice is simple - just work on yourself. This sounds repetitive, but it's true. You have to work on yourself. Be busy, have a goal and let people understand it. Don't be a manchild or a boy. Be a man and that's when things will slowly start getting better.
    Peace.
     
  5. ItsOkay

    ItsOkay Fapstronaut

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    Thought-provoking question.

    There is a verse in Ephesians that says, “For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.” Eph 2:10

    I struggle when looking at couples - at church, in public, they’re all over. And some are all over each other; I am divorced, with a son who has special needs. Had a really volatile marriage that left a lot of scars. Many people in my age range are doing the “Married with Kids” thing(s). I oftentimes feel out of place.

    Lately, I keep asking God to reveal to me what my purpose is. I have a son who is extremely difficult to connect with, emotionally. He’s eight and doesn’t talk. But I make it a point to be a part of his life, and enjoy him for who he is. I have a small business. My purpose is to take care of the people I work for and do a good job for them. There are a lot of people out there with awful situations, many I meet in circles of recovery. Am I making myself available to help them, in whatever capacity God wants me to? And am I doing it to truly help them, or with the underlying motive of looking like a real nice guy?

    We’ve all been given a life. There are things we can change, and things we can’t. I ask God to help me focus on what it is I can change and get to work.
     
  6. Demodectic

    Demodectic Fapstronaut

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    Get a dog or cat that you can love in the meantime. It is a significant improvement. Not as good as an actual female but a good "step in between". Also even in dating there will be times when you will be in between partners so its nice to have an animal
     
  7. Infrasapiens

    Infrasapiens Fapstronaut

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  8. Demodectic

    Demodectic Fapstronaut

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    Ruminating on "cant get a girl right now" style of thoughts is a waste of energy. Focus on the solution: Bettering yourself. Lift weights, educate yourself in business to upgrade your income and advance your spirituality. The "cant get a girl at the moment" thoughts are fine if you need "motivation" to start fixing your life. But get off that pity pot because it feels like sh!t to be on it.
     
  9. Get_It

    Get_It Fapstronaut

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    Almost anything is better than pining over a girlfriend you wish you had.
     
  10. TheNewGuyisHere

    TheNewGuyisHere Fapstronaut

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    Call or talk to someone whose closest to you. They may or may not replace the required "love", but you sure won't be lonely.
     
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  11. TealKoala

    TealKoala Fapstronaut

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    To answer your title question I talk to people. Anyone, pretty women, older men and women, friends, homeless people, people at work, or whomever. I talk to them, and ask them genuine questions about their life, their wants needs and desires, sometimes I just compliment someone and try to make their day. That helps with the loneliness.

    I have had many bad experiences with women, and I can relate to your feelings that many seem to want seemingly shallow things, tallness, wealth, etc. but that doesn't mean they, or all women are shallow. Initial attraction is different than a long term relationship, and while most relationships are built on attraction the ones that work become about personality, caring for each other when you are sick, looking out for each other, starting a family, etc. Attraction is a way to get noticed, to show someone the good sides of yourself so that they can be there for you when you aren't your best, but it needs to be a positive first. I advise you change your attitude about yourself first, and then try to stop stereotyping all women, because when you meet the person who is caring and compassionate and loving, who would be a perfect fit for you you are going to push her away if your attitude is "there aren't any good women left."

    A helpful exercise in my opinion is to ask yourself simply, is that thought I just had true? Are all women shallow? Well I for one don't know all women, having met only a few hundred, and of those many of them weren't shallow so I would answer that as no. Do this with any negative self thoughts as well. Just my advice.
     
  12. TheLightOne

    TheLightOne Fapstronaut

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    Dont be like Elliot Rodger.
    Looking at couples with envy? Think this way 'good for them, one day Ill be like this , when theres time God will put right woman on my path and I know it'. Its not ur moment yet, to speed it up you need to become a better person like in mmorpg
     
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  13. TheNewGuyisHere

    TheNewGuyisHere Fapstronaut

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    This will be unconventional to say but in what I follow there's a saying that "...And we created you in pairs..." meaning you will find your partner eventually for sure. There's also a belief that every couple was created from each other, which means that every guy or girl will find their significant other as they were created for eachother.
     
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  14. Max666

    Max666 Fapstronaut

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    If you see a couple holding hands, that really has nothing to do with you. You shouldn't compare yourself to others...Maybe they live together, share each other's space 24/7, maybe they cant construct an idea of their own without the other's approval, maybe neither of them have enough time for themselves to be good at anything. You dont know. There are pros and cons to everything, success, love, relationships, wealth and even loneliness. What I'm saying is, the couples' life isn't necessarily perfect just cause they're holding hands. Where's their freedom? Where's their sense of individuality, their originality, creativity? You get the drift?
    Focus on the pros to what you already have...being on your own and utilize that. I can think of several advantages people not in relationships have over those who are.
     
    Last edited: Nov 10, 2019
  15. Hold it in

    Hold it in Fapstronaut

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    I Reminisce, or read God's word.
     
  16. Get_It

    Get_It Fapstronaut

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    Go daygaming.
     
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  17. FY_33

    FY_33 Fapstronaut

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    21 y.o. can relate, since i broke up with my ex that i loved the most, i really feel lonely, and feel like you:(
    just barely hope a woman that can erase this loneliness
     
  18. FY_33

    FY_33 Fapstronaut

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    But, i still not losing hope, because i believe in Allah
     
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  19. One Eyed Owl

    One Eyed Owl Fapstronaut

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    I go for long walks to try to forget my loneliness.
     
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  20. Robinthehood

    Robinthehood Fapstronaut

    Yes sometimes it's necessary and the best thing to do. Remember you're a man, put a boot up your own ass
     
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