What Are You Running From?

Discussion in 'Self Improvement' started by Mjölnir, Jun 25, 2019.

  1. Mjölnir

    Mjölnir New Fapstronaut

    PMO tends to be a coping mechanism for something. Maybe you don't like to be uncomfortable. Maybe you're alone and don't like that. Maybe you're sad or angry and don't want to feel that. You're running to pmo to burying those feelings.

    I have personally found it helpful to verbalize what it is I am running from in this situation. I personally hate feeling alone and sad, and will do almost anything to avoid that feeling. PMO is my quick fix solution, that of course leaves me feeling more alone and sad. It's like drinking salt water when you're thirsty.

    So what are you running from?
    Tao Jones likes this.
  2. Mjölnir

    Mjölnir New Fapstronaut

    I believe that fear is the key, though. Accepting that those things are a possibility grants us a drive. Nobody wants to fail or have their dreams amount to nothing in the end. Instead of running from that, embrace it. Let it fuel you to do your very best to achieve what you want.

    Often times, instead of letting it fuel is, we let it defeat us. We believe that failure is the only outcome, and then we PMO to feel better, burning off that energy we could use to keep going.
  3. LifeAdvancer

    LifeAdvancer Fapstronaut

    Make a list on what you would like to change about yourself. No matter how impossible it might sound. Then, in the next 3 months, do one of these things. Once completed, tackle the next one. You might not see any different from day to day, but if you are consistent, you will look back in a few years and you will be completely different.
    Did this before I started lifting about 3 years ago and if you put a picture from before and from now next to each other, I have changed QUITE A LOT since then. But do it in small steps if you just start out.
    If you don´t like your teeth for example, make yourself a routine: Once you get up, brush! Before you go to bed, brush and floss! This will help with the hygiene at first. Do this daily, regular checkups and save enough money to get them whitened. Boom, in 3 months, problem will be solved. I know, 3 months are a long time if you want to have it changed now. But better in 3 months than in 30 years...
    ParadiseSwallow likes this.
  4. properWood

    properWood Fapstronaut

    Feelings are generated by emotions, emotions are generated by thoughts and thoughts are generated by beliefs; I'll expand on @ParadiseSwallow's entry.

    Some beliefs are good, and some beliefs are limiting (they're called limiting beliefs). These can be:

    I'm not a good enough person
    I'm a fraud and I will be discovered
    I'm a burden
    I don't look good
    I will never find someone to love me
    I will always be broke

    These are learnt usually in childhood and reinforced by parental guidance, but some are learnt also in adulthood through trauma. A childhood in which money was scarce and you were never allowed to have a thing you needed (clothes, shoes) will have an impact in your adulthood: you'll not know what to do with your salary, you're not going to take care of yourself, because the scarcity mindset is already established. A situation at work in which you were embarrassed could be a trauma that leads to a belief that no one likes you and from then on will be reinforced in other social interactions that remind you of the said work related situation.

    All the limiting beliefs are, indeed, fears that express themselves through emotions such as loneliness (i have no one that understands), anxiety (will she like me?), boredom (why bother doing anything anyway?) etc.

    In therapy I learnt that first I should identify the belief, then figure out what kind of emotions it triggers, and then try to retrain with an updated, more realistic belief. The question I usually ask "who says I'm not good enough?" and the answer in many many situations has been "my father".

    PMO in my case was is a coping mechanism for boredom and frustration. If someone pisses me off and I can't let that person go out of my mind, I will seek to distract with PMO. In case of boredom, if I have nothing challenging to do, I will PMO; then I won't have energy to do anything, so more boredom, so PMO again and so on, and so on.

    By the by, loneliness and boredom are feelings that most of the time come together. If you are bored, you're not engaged in any meaningful activity, this leaves your mind wander about and leads you to assume that you're on your own in difficult times, thus creating loneliness.
    dwarfstruggles, Mithras and Tao Jones like this.
  5. Boredom, absofuckinglutely boredom.
    Some insecurities as well but man nothing defeats boredom at this chapter
    Mithras likes this.
  6. Infrasapiens

    Infrasapiens Fapstronaut

    And I ran, I ran so far away.
    I don't know, I am not an addict.
    Mjölnir likes this.
  7. I’m running from Zombies, oh they’re close ocalltellthwmthattiloveemsnm

Share This Page