What are you wary of?

[ninja_hachi_3000]

Kind of what it says in the title. I'll be going into relatively unknown territory with my streak soon and figure I should get more involved in these forums.

I think a general thread for what you guys are struggling most with during your current streak and then any advice people might have for each other would be good. For me this is night-time urges - especially when I don't have much exciting on the next day such as if it's mid week and I just have a couple days of work ahead of me. Doesn't so much come from P triggers or anything but just when I'm tired and my mood is a bit lower so I find my mind drifting towards getting that dopamine fix a bit more. Then I find myself staying up later so I can distract myself from it. It's nothing that bad at the moment but I feel like if I have a particularly stressful day or something else and then I've got to deal with that it could lead me to relapse easier.

So yeah, what are you guys wary of and any advice?

 

[56LI]

I get nervous about a relapse when I'm home alone with nothing really to do. I found a good thing to do is to have a project. I have a racecar in my garage that I could constantly tinker on. Whenever I get triggered I make sure I leave my phone in the house(my primary mode for viewing P.) and go out into the garage for a bit. The urges dissappear pretty quick when you put your mind to something else

 

[Rudolf Geyse]

Very similar, I just posted about it on my journal. I have got my devices locked down with blockers but at nioght and on the weekends for some reason I have got into a bad pattern of "rattling the blockers" or trying to search for something that might not be locked down. I will be focussing on rooting out this behaviour in the next streak.

 

[FocusIsLove]

Wish I knew exactly what to do when I feel the urge coming on. 90+% of the time it's nothing to do with even being horny. There is just a part of me that realizes that I can do it, and the parts of me that know better feel like they start to shrink... As far as avoiding it, for me I think its mostly staying busy, especially if I can find some excuse to go work in public or to socialize. Usually that puts me into a better place. This is especially important if I suddenly have free time I didn't plan on like getting sick, work letting out early, etc.

I think a big part of it is the hypofrontality that comes as a side effect. I am really bad at planning and decision making, which often just leads to me doing nothing...which leads to PMO. It is one of if not the worst part of the addiction to me. A lot easier to get into the hole than get out. Still, trying to improve here, realizing that generally any decision is better than no decision, even if its maybe not efficient. I shouldn't expect anything close to perfection out of myself when I know I am not at my full potential. I have a lot of healing before I am anything close to that.

 

[ninja_hachi_3000]

I get nervous about a relapse when I'm home alone with nothing really to do. I found a good thing to do is to have a project. I have a racecar in my garage that I could constantly tinker on. Whenever I get triggered I make sure I leave my phone in the house(my primary mode for viewing P.) and go out into the garage for a bit. The urges dissappear pretty quick when you put your mind to something else

That's a pretty cool distraction! It's never occurred to me to have a project that removes you from the house without having to commit to going a walk or something.

 

[ninja_hachi_3000]

Very similar, I just posted about it on my journal. I have got my devices locked down with blockers but at nioght and on the weekends for some reason I have got into a bad pattern of "rattling the blockers" or trying to search for something that might not be locked down. I will be focussing on rooting out this behaviour in the next streak.

Yeah this is something I've done in the past be it on social media or even google images. Seeing what I can find without having to turn off image blurring or change 18+ content preferences, usually just leads to a much more drawn out relapse. I've never used blockers but do you find them helpful outside of the whole 'rattling' thing? I feel like they would be good for not stumbling across stuff but aside from that I don't know much about them.

 

[ninja_hachi_3000]

Wish I knew exactly what to do when I feel the urge coming on. 90+% of the time it's nothing to do with even being horny. There is just a part of me that realizes that I can do it, and the parts of me that know better feel like they start to shrink... As far as avoiding it, for me I think its mostly staying busy, especially if I can find some excuse to go work in public or to socialize. Usually that puts me into a better place. This is especially important if I suddenly have free time I didn't plan on like getting sick, work letting out early, etc.

I think a big part of it is the hypofrontality that comes as a side effect. I am really bad at planning and decision making, which often just leads to me doing nothing...which leads to PMO. It is one of if not the worst part of the addiction to me. A lot easier to get into the hole than get out. Still, trying to improve here, realizing that generally any decision is better than no decision, even if its maybe not efficient. I shouldn't expect anything close to perfection out of myself when I know I am not at my full potential. I have a lot of healing before I am anything close to that.

I relate to the first part of this as well. I find if I'm home alone the thought will pop into my head even if I'm not in the mood. Just a case of not entertaining it and letting it pass. Keeping busy is very op when it comes to avoiding relapse and building that streak!

 

[Rudolf Geyse]

I've never used blockers but do you find them helpful

Ninja, blockers saved my life. I needed something to get me out of the "muscle memory" of opening new tabs without thinking, and going to certain sites on autopilot. However there is always some way around them. I use a "powerful password" which is personal, linked to my faith in God, my family, everything I value and so there is no way I will put that password in to access my old haunts - this won't work for everybody though. Basically blockers and filters create space between me and relapse, enough hurdles that it gives me time to think and make better decisions. But the end goal is to retrain my mind so that I see the truth: smut is destructive and to be avoided at all times, blockers or no. Accountability software may be more powerful for this than blockers.

 

[ninja_hachi_3000]

Ninja, blockers saved my life. I needed something to get me out of the "muscle memory" of opening new tabs without thinking, and going to certain sites on autopilot. However there is always some way around them. I use a "powerful password" which is personal, linked to my faith in God, my family, everything I value and so there is no way I will put that password in to access my old haunts - this won't work for everybody though. Basically blockers and filters create space between me and relapse, enough hurdles that it gives me time to think and make better decisions. But the end goal is to retrain my mind so that I see the truth: smut is destructive and to be avoided at all times, blockers or no. Accountability software may be more powerful for this than blockers.

I like the sound of that. Yeah my thought with blockers is that if I full on decided to relapse then I would just find a way around them or deactivate them but having it as another line of defence when you're struggling makes sense. I assume it automatically blocks P but can you add websites to the block list?

 

[Rudolf Geyse]

can you add websites to the block list

There are many apps and ways with different functions and features. I block at router level, at OS level and at browser level, and I also have app timers on my phone. There are website blacklists at many of those levels.

I can still see Psubs if I look for it and that is the hotspot I am trying to work on at this point in my journey. If I can conquer this through journalling (Metascript method) and my support structure, then the war will be 99% won.

But basically I know for certain that with the above blockers I can't get to those particular P sites, the ones I would always go back to, for the same poison over and over again - can't access them right now without a lot of effort. So I stand by this strategy.