What brings on urges?

Anxiety and boredom are the two things that usually cause me urges. But we are men with sex hormones. I don't think there is a way to insure no urges ever (and who'd want that anyway).

 

I think when we have anxiety, we will often look to PMO as an escape.

I'm only 6 days into NoFap and there have been a few times when I'm feeling low and depressed. What I've been striving to do though is when I feel that way, ASSESS it as a symptom of withdrawl, RECOGNIZE it as a passing feeling, and INDICATE that it means I'm on the move to recovery.

 

yep. bored, anxious, nervous, procrastinating a deadline and angry- which I journaled about today.

 

Over the past month, as I've been progressively getting better with my NoFap, I've noticed my urges are highest when I'm emotionally at my highest or lowest. Depression or anxiety are the biggest triggers. Boredom and this impulse I can't really describe, being the next most common. Sometimes I just get this feeling that screams at me to watch porn or fap. I just need to.

 

I think sometimes, worries and discouragement brings out the urges as well. Like your brain is telling you, "f*** it! Get a release! Nobody cares!" But the coping mechanisms for these feelings becomes habitual, and you'll definitely feel even worse after the initial 'high'. So you find yourself feeling discouraged, worried, down, anything along those lines, you gotta get out of the house!! Cheer yourself up in the company of friends!

 

Thanks for posting. Anxiety, stress, depression, boredom. When I was regularly PMOing I used P like a cigarette. Did not really think it was much of a problem, just a small vice that hurt no one. But, when I got serious about quitting, I realized my brain craved that release. I have found this and other similar forums are a great tool in quitting. It is good to know others out there struggle, that we are not alone in this. Educate yourself. I have found that quitting works on two levels, the higher "I am quitting" level, and the more practical "things I have to do to quit" level. I was initially frustrated that the higher level alone was not enough. Just telling yourself "I am quitting" was for me not enough. By this I mean that will power alone was not enough. I needed help, tools, such as porn blockers and forums like this to share the experience. Once I realized I was not going to beat it (no pun) on my own, and needed some help, things got a lot better. So, now, like now, if I am tempted to look, I find a forum and post. I have blockers on the computer that I can get around, but...they give me a moment to pause and remember why I put them them there. For me porn was a compulsion. I have found that breaking the PMO cycle begins with separating the P from the MO. Do not look at it, do not think of it, and if you must MO, do not think of P when you do it. If you can do that then in a month or so that compulsion to see P will be greatly diminished. Good luck and thanks for sharing.

 

You must realize that we are sexual beings and that is part of our human nature. What porn does is distorts the sexual intercourse from with a loved one or spouse to an image on a computer screen. Urges are not necessary bad they are just the sexual hormones we have that are there to remind us of our purpose as humans are to ultimately find a mate. What you need to learn is to distinguish and identify your urges and to get to a point where you are aware of it and can have the will to overcome your urges and not let them control and dictate your life. Ultimately when you do find your significant other and soul mate your urges will remain but you can choose to act out of love and not seek selfish sexual desires but to use sex as an expression of your love for each other. Good luck and stay clean!

 

I think being alone, anxiety, frustration, anger, not getting enough sleep, hunger, can all drive one to act out.. At least this is how it seems to be with me. I notice the more "pressure" one allows to be developed within oneself the higher the chance of acting out.. For instance, i am trying to work on my short tempor, be it, something i am doing at home, driving, anything small things can irritate me, and that seems to just create greater pressue within me, not getting enough rest, that creates pressure, not eating properly. Once this has reached a certain point, and one is aimlessly surfing the internet, your brain starts to flood with images and due to this compulsion you simply leave all your work, morals, beliefs and goals behind just so you can feel "good" for that slight second, or two.. And than you regret it and come to the realization that you are in a cycle! That PMO is the primary reason why you get frustrated,angry, impatient, agitated, anxiety - PMO created this and you are now just feeding on it. One must reflect constantly and ponder over even the most simple and basic thing question and than examine in order to avoid and overcome this! It's all about the correct mindset and recognizing urges for what they are. Don't give up guys! Peace! - A.M.

 

Worry, that's the main one for me. Interestingly when I went 16 days without fapping I didn't worry half as much, I kind of developed a **** You! attitude which helped me through. So I know I'm only 2 weeks away from having that again and that's what is helping me through.

Worry is the main one, like today I have some idiot on ebay who won't reply to messages and won't pay for the item he's won. It was getting so bad earlier I could feel myself getting angry and I knew that I was on the road down so I took some time out, did some deep breathing and I'm again back on track.