What can I do to celebrate/ relax instead of PMO?

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by drbt444, May 21, 2019.

  1. drbt444

    drbt444 Fapstronaut

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    Am still locked in the space that believes the greatest high is PMO. Trouble of course is the suicidal feelings when I crash afterwards. Any suggestions what I can do to celebrate/ relax instead?
     
  2. Tryingto

    Tryingto Fapstronaut

    I can personally relate to this, @drbt444. Having spent the bulk of my adult life coping and rewarding with pmo, my range of obvious alternatives is pretty narrow. And even those obvious alternatives that do exist are sometimes used in a mindless and addictive fashion (ie: without checking in with myself, with how I am feeling, with what I want to do in this moment), which renders them less than celebratory and relaxing.

    So what's a person to do?

    I think the first thing involves acknowledging this situation. Begin to honestly look at the devastation this addiction has brought into our lives. Devastation that has, in this instance, almost wiped the landscape clean of healthy and appropriate pleasure.

    This acknowledged, we can begin to embrace the task of very slowly building up a repertoire of healthy and approrpaites. This will require patience and persistence. Because we really don't know ourselves very well, we'll have to just try things and see how it goes. This not easy for addicts who typically insist upon immediate perfection - and who have become used to the big rush of pmo - but this is our task.

    Speaking for myself, I've discovered the following are pretty good alternatives to pmo:
    • long walks
    • stretching
    • late night saunas
    • reading novels
    • small and simple household tasks
    • taking time away from devices
    • sitting in coffee shops
    • casual chats with one or two others
    • a sense of connection with my wife (usually requires a 'date night')
    • journalling
    • sketching
    • trying a new dinner recipe
    Your list is going to be different, but I suggest just getting into life and trying stuff out. Remember this will take time. Remember not everything's going to work for you. Remember that few - if any - of the things you try will bring the hit of pmo. Remember this is the work of recovery and keep going!

    Best of luck...
     
  3. klava

    klava Fapstronaut

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    You need communication. Sign up in the fitness room. This is both an active lifestyle and health and stupid thoughts away.
     
    drbt444 likes this.
  4. drbt444

    drbt444 Fapstronaut

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  5. Awedouble

    Awedouble Fapstronaut

    What do you like? Let's just start there as the first step.
     
  6. drbt444

    drbt444 Fapstronaut

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    Superb reply; realistic too. I suppose the obvious addition to the list is trying to help others on this website and/ or attend a 12-step meeting. It's a pity the Panic button does not include a "live chat" option. Would be great to talk to someone on a Friday night when I am most vulnerable.
     
    Tryingto likes this.
  7. drbt444

    drbt444 Fapstronaut

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    Many thanks for the reply - appreciated. Trouble was last time I acted out, I had been to a match that night and was generally enjoying myself, but still had an underlining craving for more. Of course, the resulting PMO was disasterous.
     

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