My wife is struggling at the moment finding purpose and remembering to do self-care. Her homeopath mentioned that there were lots of menopausal and post-menopausal women feeling the same way and she suggested that my wife say some daily affirmations, several times a day. It reminded us of years ago—when we lived in the States—and she had some anxiety issues. A therapist suggested affirmations, morning and evening, to oneself in the mirror and making eye contact with oneself. We are drafting some ideas for positive affirmations, here's what we have so far: There are some related threads here already: @potato bop's July 2018 thread Written Affirmation Challenge, though this includes goal setting in with affirmations, @2525's September 2017 thread Daily Intention Thread : "Today, I am... + POSITIVE AFFIRMATION", though this is for restating the affirmations daily, and @Dragonnlife's June 2017 thread Affirmations: A little bit goes a long way (one post) I would be interested to hear which daily positive affirmations others here have found useful, both recovering porn users and our wives and girlfriends. It's the kind of thing that I imagine lots of us have tried or read about (e.g. @Jagliana, @Queen_Of_Hearts_13, ...). N.B. I'm not sure if this thread should go here, in Rebooting in a Relationship, because it is something I have been thinking about in relation to my wife, or in Self Improvement. Perhaps I will move it after a while.
I am good enough I am lovable I am attractive I am a good wife and mom I am responsible for my own happiness I can take care of myself His addiction has nothing to do with me those are just some of them
I like this one because it is not just about positivity but it is also instructive, even if it is just a reminder that change is inevitable. I think people should think more beyond just having positivity in affirmations and incorporate ones with wisdom in it beyond just thinking of wisdom as a thing you have. For example with this next one: Why not add something like ".. but there there are many 'coulds'" or something, as a reminder that there are always many ways to work with the situation? The word 'could' also shifts our thinking in terms of an empowered position rather than being burdened with a moral onus or something, it is about ability. You see where I'm going with this? Edit: Positivity alone strikes me as a temporary state change from the negative, nothing wrong with that, but positivity+instructional wisdom opens the mind to action.
I’m not going to compete with the brain trust here, but what I was thinking this week had humor and a zen quality to it. "Preach the Gospel at all times. Use words if necessary." Is the quote which St Francis likely did not say, but to whom it is commonly attributed. So in that case I like the phrase, "pray every day and if necessary use words". ——————— I also liked the story about the fellow who asked the priest if he could smoke while he prayed. The priest replied, “Of course not”. They continued speaking and then it came up and the priest was asked, “when I am smoking, is it OK to pray?”. The priest replied, “That would be best.” —————- Sometimes, our answers are waiting to be seen. Hope your young bride feels better soon. Mine is going through that change, too.
My advice would be to help her find a purpose. And set a schedule for self-care. (As in, help her decide a schedule for her self-care). This is the problen that needs addressing, finding good self-affirmations is just one way to make her feel better (tackling the symptoms rather than the core of the problem). Positive affirmations are going to work best if they are statements that she knows, intellectually, to be true, but sometimes struggles to feel emotionally. Reminding herself of the value she already has. Perhaps of the purpose she already has. Perhaps affirmations about how deserving she is of the self care she will practise that day, etc. Repeating a statement she has no belief in at all won't help as much. Finding a properly licensed therapist or a mental health professional will yield better results than sourcing your advice from a homeopath. Diluting one good bit of advice with a huge volume of waffle won't make the good advice more potent or effective.
Good advice but I would like to keep this thread on topic. If you (or your loved one) find any daily affirmations useful please do post them here (or head over to my journal for more open-ended conversations).
I am _______ IMO. The most powerful affirmations start with I am I am _______ I am healing I am honest I am confident I am persuasive I am charming I am handsome I am likable Etc....
