What did I just fucking do.

I was feeling so good. Day 2 and a half. I just started feeling so dang good. And I fucked it up. I fapped. I was so horny and I immediately regretted what I did the second I o’d. This is torture. God please help me. I want to live life and feel the way I was intended to feel. I messed up so bad. I want to cry. But I know it will just be a mess and won’t fix much. I need gods help. I just want to get my life back, within the past 2 months I’ve made good strides. Staying away from pmo for long periods of time and getting right back on it when I slip up. I just can’t wait to get to the good life. 20-30-40-100 days. God I’m sorry for this. I know I’m saying a lot in this post. But it’s just so painful. Id rather lose an arm than deal with this addiction.