What difference between having sex and masturbation?

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by monachus, Feb 10, 2014.

  1. monachus

    monachus Fapstronaut

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    Sorry in case there is some post already asking this -- it comes up in some posts but a bit confusing.

    Many here don't want to masturbate for some tine but would not reset their counter if they had sex with a partner.

    But how do you experience the difference? Those telling of the positive effects of not masturbating, isn't it really the same if you use your sexual energy by yourself or with a partner?

    What's the difference for you, I mean the difference which you feel you experience in your body, mind and in your life?
     
  2. aaron92

    aaron92 Fapstronaut

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    The differences are enormous:

    Firstly, sex involves a close bond with another person.

    Masturbation is being alone, and fantasising about being with another person.

    Watch 3:20 of the Tedtalk by Gary for a detailed analysis of the difference
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wSF82AwSDiU
     
  3. monachus

    monachus Fapstronaut

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    I see that part. But some in this forum describe effects that seem to be more connected to sex itself, like having more energy, clarity of mind and all this. Regarding these things I wonder if there is a difference between solo sex and with a partner.

    Also makes me wonder about why many spiritual traditions value sexual abstinence in itself. I am not sure I understand this, but if wise people from independent cultures say so, I am open for arguments ( and I mean the wise people from religious traditions, not the guilt-talk of the more fundamentalist kind...)
     
  4. slipsonic

    slipsonic Fapstronaut

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    Since I decided to start nofap, I was always planning on having sex with my GF whenever the oppurtunity arose. One main difference to me is, most people don't have sex 3-4 times a day, every day. PMO is a different story, I would have binges like that for 2 weeks.
    I think a normal amount of sex for a relatively frisky couple would be 3-5 times a week. Nowhere near the amount I pmo'ed.
    It seems to me that O'ing 3-5 times a week wouldn't deplete you of nearly the amount of whatever it is that makes us feel so good when we're not PMO'ing.
    Plus all those chemicals released in your brain actually have a purpose when you're with another person, they help you feel more connected to your S.O. because it was an intimate act between to people.
    I think that when we PMO those feelings have nowhere else to go but to the act itself.
    Not to mention that a lot of it for me is mental, I just feel more masculine and in control of my life when I don't have to look at fake women on a screen and fantasize about things, I get to save all the passion and energy for the real woman in my life.
    Just my 2c :)
     

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