What do you care so much about relapse if it isn't causing you any problems?

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by skaterdrew, Jan 30, 2021.

  1. skaterdrew

    skaterdrew Fapstronaut

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    Maybe there is something wrong with me and I can't see something that a lot of you guys on here can see.

    But see if you no longer have any porn induced sexual dysfunctions, and ending up on porn and artificial sexual stimulation is only a very occasional thing, then why do you care so much if you very occasionally relapse? Like what serious negative consequences has this relapse caused you if you don't have any porn induced sexual dysfunctions and using porn and artificial sexual stimulation is only a very occasional thing in your life? Why is a very occasional relapse so devastating to someone like this?

    Maybe I am missing something here.

    I actually used to think relapsing was much more devastating a while ago. But the consequences I experience from it seems to be much less these days.
     
    Last edited: Jan 30, 2021
  2. HelperX

    HelperX Fapstronaut

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    Because porn fucks up someone's mind. Even if you don't feel it, the dopamine rush affects your mind.
     
  3. AtomicTango

    AtomicTango Fapstronaut

    Because its way too easy for someone who was addicted in the past to fall back into bad habits even if they try to regulate their usage. A recovered alcoholic will most times not return to alcohol even if it is only occasional, and the same is true for porn, risking it in ANY capacity is too much of a risk for many people.

    I do agree to some extent that a relapse is not the end of the world, as long as you pick yourself back up and try again right after. Problem is, many wont do this. They will relapse once, and then use that relapse to rationalise a binge until they feel so terrible they cant continue, and only then will they snap out of it and commit to trying again.
     
  4. Dudewiththeproblem

    Dudewiththeproblem Fapstronaut

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    Relapsing once probably wont do anything but when you get that high again you get the taste and you want it again and again. Thats how it is for me. If i dont taste it for a long time i forget about it and i dont feel the urge for it in the same way. Thats why one relapse always makes me fall back in the habit every time. Congrats for those who can handle it but i sure cant.
     
  5. skaterdrew

    skaterdrew Fapstronaut

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    See when you do relapse once, how bad does your behaviour usually go after this relapse? Like do you binge for the rest of the day? Or even days, weeks?
     
  6. I think most of us would agree on being addicted is the same thing as not being in control, it’s the addiction that controls you. What you describe is a scenario that is realistic for a non-porn addict.
     
  7. skaterdrew

    skaterdrew Fapstronaut

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    But what if someone relapsed multiple times in a day, but then after this day they got control of them self and stopped it again for a few weeks, month. Would a person like this not meet addict criteria? Considering they still PMOed multiple times in a day.
     
  8. Dudewiththeproblem

    Dudewiththeproblem Fapstronaut

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    Not binging but i get that overwhelming urge in the next couple of days and i cant control myself and i dont do it for 10min, i edge and pmo for 1-3H.
    Compared to when I was drinking alcohol before i could quit cold trukey and have not had a drop in 6 months. PMO is extremly much harder.
     
  9. would you ask the same thing if you had replaced the word ”porn” with ”drugs”?

    Besides, I don't get why you're trying to justify this kind of behaviour. You don't relapse multiple times in a day and then suddenly get control over yourself. That's not how it works. If you're an addict, you don't control if the next time will be in on month, one week or one hour. If you think you can binge to porn just like that and then go back to normal as if nothing happened, you haven't realised what kind of messy drug this is. For almost my whole life, I have considered myself healthy and have been proud of myself because I've never taken any drugs except alcohol and tobacco. Well, I forgot to account for my heavy porn usage for the last 25 years! Bummer.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 30, 2021
  10. skaterdrew

    skaterdrew Fapstronaut

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    So are you saying if someone can control when they use it and when they don't use it that they don't really have much of a problem?
     
  11. AtomicTango

    AtomicTango Fapstronaut

    Think of it this way.

    PMO is like a greasy cheeseburger you buy from a guy in his food truck. Delicious, moreish, and also incredibly bad for you. Will you suffer serious consequences if you eat one? Probably not, but that doesnt negate it being bad for you. The more you eat, the more damage you do to yourself.

    Now think about this.

    Fulfilling sex is like that same burger, but you made it yourself. It took more effort and time to make it, and you made it from healthier ingredients. Its just as delicious though, and you enjoy it more because of the work you put into it.

    PMO is the lazy option. PMO is the option chosen when you have decided to stop trying and instead give into short term, meaningless pleasure at the expense of long term satisfaction. Now I get it, believe me, I GET IT. Sometimes I get so horny I feel like I am going insane and I almost feel like I cant control myself. But its possible. Its always possible to overcome those desires. These desires are not bad, sexual desire is normal and healthy for any human being. Its better to learn to accept and even embrace sexual urges as opposed to turning to PMO as a way to control them. Want to know a secret? Doing that doesnt even work, because PMO makes you more horny in the long term, not less.
     
    skaterdrew likes this.
  12. skaterdrew

    skaterdrew Fapstronaut

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    That was a good way to explain it.

    I know if this guy never ate any of those unhealthy greasy cheese burgers that this is going to be much better. It is much better if this guy can stop eating those greasy cheese burgers altogether, it is going to be much better for his health and wellbeing.

    But what I am saying is if this guy had one of those greasy cheese burgers once or twice a month, maybe even one day in the month had 2 or 3 on the same day, is this overall going to be that bad for him if he hardly ever does it? I think this is what I am saying when it comes to porn and artificial sexual stimulation.
     
  13. AtomicTango

    AtomicTango Fapstronaut

    Well its like I said in the analogy, doing it occasionally probably wont cause issues. But where the problem arises is in trying to go back to moderation after already being addicted in the past. If you were never addicted and can genuinely PMO every once in a while, and can truly say its not affecting you at all, then I guess thats OK. But for addicts, the mental pathways of addiction are still there, so any risky behaviour whatsoever is almost inevitably going to cause issues. If you had the ability to moderate at all, you wouldn't be addicted to begin with. Its almost a catch 22 situation in that regard.
     

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