what do you guys tell people?

I mean... if your feeling lonely or depressed and you can't tell anyone why.

hard to do this without having the support of those closest to you.

you just gotta make up some excuse or tell them "your fine"?

what do you guys do?

 

I mean, when family members ask you why your not dating now. or why you seem down during a flatline.

 

good advice man. I deal with similar issues with untrained people. really I just want someone to listen and instead they fire back crappy solutions.

maybe a therapist is best. for now I think I'm going to try to tough it out on my own.

thanks again for reply

 

w

well that doesn't help me

lol it's ok. that sucks to hear man. I hope your still going strong with your streak

 

r

right on dude. stay strong.

it gets easiar after first week.

 

You don't owe anyone an explanation for anything that you feel, do or say. Period. You just don't. Not family, not friends, not acquaintances. No one is entitled to that. Now, that being said, there will be people in your life that you care about enough to let them in on these things.

I used to think that every friend, family member and acquaintance deserved to know the inner workings of my emotional framework or why I was doing certain things. Now, I personally require a degree of reciprocation on the other person's part in order to share more. Share little bits at a time with people. Don't close yourself off, but don't feel like you owe everyone an explanation for every fleeting feeling or even deep, dark despair. You don't have to lie and say that you're fine, but you don't have to spill your guts either.

If you don't want to talk about something, you don't have to, especially if they're asking questions of which the answers are none of their business! Really? Your love life? Is this the seventeenth century where your love life is everyone's business because it's a financial matter? No, you're allowed to just be single: whether it's because you're depressed, you're a monk, you're asexual, or whatever. They don't have to know and frankly, it's kind of a rude question. I hate when people ask me why I'm single, as if insinuating that there is something inherently wrong with being single.

My bad for the rant. Really though, what about asking them a question in return? "Is there something wrong with being single?" or "Does one have to be dating or looking for a relationship in order to gain contentment or happiness?" or "How many times have you been married again?" or "Is that really the most interesting question that you have for me? What about the genocide going on in distant parts of the world or that tornado that happened in Indiana the other day?"

 

n

no need to apologize for the rant. I liked the whole thing. your right.... I need to practice
NOT giving people and explanation. I struggle with feeling like I owe my family members an explanation of why I'm not dating. and yes they do sometimes ask me why I'm single and it sucks.

I'll try your strategy and ask a question back

cheers man thanks for reply

 

Yea man, I can relate. I have dealt with this kind of inner obligation to tell my family everything.

I want to mention that humor itself can be a good deflector of questions that you don't want to answer. It implies a healthy disposition as opposed to a defensive one.

You're welcome, any time! I hope that things go well.

 

Totally agree with @Dante Alighieri. You don't need to explain yourself. If anyone asked me why I'm still single or not interested in dating or depressed or whatever, I would just sayet that I'm working on myself and some personal things at the moment. They don't need to know anything more than that unless you want them to. Also, it makes me kind of sad that people don't like to accept that people are single just because they want to be or because they're not ready for a relationship yet. In my opinion, it's wise to wait on dating until you're in a better place with yourself. So I think people should support that decision.

 

My situation is similar to you. I will be more than happy to talk to you. You can add me on kik, skype whatsapp whatever works for you.