What do you mean by talking to girls?

Discussion in 'Dating during a Reboot' started by Paulie G., May 1, 2020.

  1. Paulie G.

    Paulie G. Fapstronaut

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    hey guys,

    i read this often so maybe someone could clarify:

    What exactly do you guys mean when you give the advice to "go out and talk to girls"?

    I'm serious, because everybody seems to have an understanding of what that is and I have no idea what this would look like.

    It just seems so off to go up to random girls and start talking to them. i have never in my life seen someone do this. it's like talking to yourself in the bus other ppl would probably think i'm crazy.

    but maybe you mean more in a nightlife setting where there is alcohol involved, but i don't drink or do drugs so that's not really an option.

    or maybe through friends?

    and btw i am not the ugliest dude, often women smile at me but even then i couldn't do it. it is just too off...
     
  2. p1n1983

    p1n1983 Fapstronaut

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    if a girl smiles at you is her way to tell you that she is interested or attracted to you and it´s ok for you to approach her to talk. there are a lot of ways to know if a girl is attracted to you looking at her body languague. (you can google it)
    next time a girl smiles at you, confident go to her and say "hi.. whats your name.." and ask her more question in order to know her a little more, keep the interaction fun and ligth. If she is interested in you she will make it easy for you to keep the conversation flowing. If that the case, after 10/15 minutes ask her for her phone number and move on with your day. You can call her a few days after to ask her out.
    If she don´t make it easy for you to keep the conversation going or she didn´t give you her phone she is not interested so is better for you to end the conversation and go away.
     
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  3. cd013

    cd013 Fapstronaut

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    Generally speaking it involves being more social and involved with the people around you(classmates,co-workers).
    I wouldn't recommend approaching women randomly especially if you just started your reboot process.
     
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  4. Metis07

    Metis07 Fapstronaut

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    Agree with @cd013 , but talking with girls on street (cold approach) could also be useful (sort of going out of your comfort zone, like public speaking for example or something you are afraid of, etc.). I mean if you want to do smth, your fear shoudn’t take it from you, so you can force yourself in doing it in order to get rid of your fear
     
  5. Paulie G.

    Paulie G. Fapstronaut

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    thanks for your answers guys.

    @p1n1983 what setting exactly do you have in mind? like more of a nightlife/party environment, right? not in the library/on the street etc?

    are you from the US? maybe it's also where i live, i've heard the situation is a lot more difficult here than basically anywhere else, maybe once i emigrated it's gonna be better lmao
     
  6. p1n1983

    p1n1983 Fapstronaut

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    There are better and worst scenarios to start a conversation with a girl.
    On the street, in the bus/train, on a night club, on a bar are not the best scenarios to do it, because her guard is up. But on weddings, private parties, at work, at museums, at gym, at a classroom are the best moments because her guard is down. Places where you are doing what you both like is easier, you already have a topic to start the conversation with and is a fact that people that like the same things is more likely to like each other.

    Nope, i'm from Bs As, Argentina. here the girls are know to be really pretty and hard to get but as i told you if a girl smiles at you, no matter where you are in the world, she is telling that you are welcome to approach to talk to her. If you do it with confidence and not in a creepy way she is going to be glad you did it. It doesn´t mean she is into you, she is just interested in know you a little bit better.
     
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  7. Bohdanbigos

    Bohdanbigos Fapstronaut

    You also helped me a lot)
     
  8. autopsyhater

    autopsyhater Fapstronaut

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    Caution with this technique, though. It looks like this guy has taken the advice literally but has no idea what to say.

     
  9. Metis07

    Metis07 Fapstronaut

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    If you have courage to do such thing even you have no idea what to say you are a winner.
    The only things you should be careful is your attitude towards rejections (to be completely OK with them) and attitude toward women you approach (to show some respect, like not to bother if they are really busy for example)
     
  10. thesexscientist

    thesexscientist New Fapstronaut

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    I think it is a great idea to just start trying out talking to girls. I think it's a good idea to start with girls who you don't find that attractive so that ...
    1. you won't feel so bad if you get a rejection
    2. you won't be as nervous to talk to her
    Good luck!
     
    Metis07 likes this.
  11. Paulie G.

    Paulie G. Fapstronaut

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    yeah this is exactly how i imagine it. funny thing is i can't even watch it, seriously i cringe too hard. i could barely watch one "approach" it's so painful and then the reaction...

    i don't think i could do that, i guess i am very sensitive to awkward situations. but anyways i'm in quarantine now and on day 9 nofap, maybe in couple of months when i can go out again and have a decent streak i feel different and if not i focus more on my education/ getting a nice job.
     
  12. This is a pretty misguiding thing to say.
     
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  13. p1n1983

    p1n1983 Fapstronaut

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    Support your statement.
     
  14. My mom smiles at me and she is not attracted to me. My female friends smile at me and they are not attracted to me. Essentially, smiling does not always indicate attraction. If a female boss smiled at a male employee, and the male employee took your advice, this could create harmful ramifications.
     
    Last edited: May 16, 2020
  15. p1n1983

    p1n1983 Fapstronaut

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    Both know you and they smile at you because they like you as a person and they are glad to talk to you.
    When a girl don't know you at all why would she smiles at you? is just because she is interested in you in some way, maybe she find you attractive, maybe she feels that you are a good catch because other woman are looking at you too or maybe she just want to be your friend because she like the way people around you are having a good time.
    If she look at you and smile at you she is telling you that she is interested. As a man (if you like her) is your job to go and talk to her and find out if she is attracted to you the way you want to. A confident man is always going to presupose that she is attracted to him and proceed to talk to her to confirm that, in case she is not he just figure that out an walk away.
     
  16. You just reasserted the thing I already established as contradictory. There are a multitude of reasons for smiling, not all sexual. Women who I DONT KNOW smile at me all the time and I would hazard a guess that less than 100% of them are attracted to me. And I don't consider it my "job" to talk to her even if I like her. There are times when it's not appropriate to flirt with women even if you like them.
    No, a narcissistic man is going to presuppose this. I am not narcissistic, so I will not make these assumptions. Stop spreading illogical PUA bullshit.
     
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  17. matt2k12

    matt2k12 Fapstronaut

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  18. p1n1983

    p1n1983 Fapstronaut

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    Haha! Busted! you too i guess?
     
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  19. p1n1983

    p1n1983 Fapstronaut

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    You can disagree with me, but you are missing the point. If a girl smile at you and you don't know her, is a good sign. You can go and talk to her if you want to.
     
  20. Are you skaterdrew's alt account?
     

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