What does success look like?

Positive-they are more engaged with all aspects of your life together.
They become more confident
They are far more thoughtful
They think of you first rather than an after thought
They literally fawn over how beautiful you are.
Mine also compliments me, like real take your breath away compliments ( before I might have gotten one compliment a year and usually about the house looking nice ).
They step up and ask “ how can I make this easier on you?”
They tell you when they are struggling
They work their recovery without any pushing or goading on your part
They apologize when they recognize that they have switched to addict mode ( being selfish, defensive).
Mine has a deeper voice and more masculine features. So much more attractive!
I could go on and on, however I think each individual pa has such different personalities that it will be different for each one.
IE: some have intimacy anorexia while others act out the porn with so.
Some avoid sex and some want it non stop
So each recovery will look very different
Some have de while others have pe etc
But over all just more thoughtful and kind

 

Yes, this too. Honestly

, yes, this too. Honestly, when they are really clean and working recovery the changes are very noticeable. It made me wonder how I was so blind before, but I’ve never known him outside of addiction accept one time after first dday and then he was white knuckling it, we had no real guidance about it being an addiction and the real work that he would have to do.

 

So this morning hubbys alarm goes off- this is when every morning he’d pmo thinking I was asleep. Alarm goes off, he rolls over pulls me close and then strokes my face and my hair, kisses my neck and tells me he loves me. This is what he does instead of pmo every morning now. Then he gets up and gets ready for work. Never, not once in 27 years had he done this. But since he’s been clean, in counseling and group meetings he does this every morning. He turns towards me instead of slinking out of bed. I told him” your so different now, I feel like you want to be with me. “ he said “ I always wanted to, I just didn’t know how”

 

Thank you, they really do make a dramatic change when they decide to get clean. You know it when you see it. I’ve always known the addict. I’m just now meeting the man inside. I like him a lot.

 

My SO would hate this. She loves her sleep too much, haha.

 

Omg! Me too but his damn alarm wakes me up!! He’s so deaf, and I’m a light sleeper. But... so much better than lying there listening to him jack off and knowing that if I touch him and invite myself to the party he will just reject me