What else I can do to make it happen?!? Recovery-Wise?!?

Homo sapien.

Homo sapien.

Fapstronaut
I'm unable to reach the recovery milestone. I've tried everything possible. Not just in my life around but also on this forum.

But, I relapse afterall. I'm really tired of all this promise, motivation and then failure.
I want to know, if there is any other way one can help himself in this regard.

-(When I Journal I'm all motivation but short after it, it is all vanished - Journal also not effective i think)
-(also read the whole 'getting started booklet of NoFap, that also didn't help finding a way.)

Kindly Help me in this regard. Any advice, appreciated. Good words, appreciated. Anything about it.
Thanks​
 
Its difficult because its an addiction. Defeating it IS possible, but it will never be quick or easy. It takes dedication and a lot of hard work. The best chance you have is getting some accountability. You have to have people that will hold you accountable for resisting the temptation to lust. In my opinion, the best way to get accountability is to join a local 12 step Sexaholics Anonymous program. I know, I know...its scary and fear of the unknown is almost crippling, but its worth it. I guarantee you will meet people there who have gone to far greater lengths in the name of this addiction than you have. Click here to find a local meeting. Its not the only way to fight this addiction...I suppose this battle could be fought without the SA program or having accountability, but personally, I'm in the SA program because prefer not to bring a knife to a gun fight.
 
Im sorry you aree struggling but dont give up,you can overcome this i recommend you check out a guy named mark queppet on youtube and watch his stuff especially the sexual self mastery series im certain,its not about staying motivated all the time,discipline and consistencey is key dont be too hard on yourself and you are not alone
 
Joe1023 said:
Its difficult because its an addiction. Defeating it IS possible, but it will never be quick or easy. It takes dedication and a lot of hard work. The best chance you have is getting some accountability. You have to have people that will hold you accountable for resisting the temptation to lust. In my opinion, the best way to get accountability is to join a local 12 step Sexaholics Anonymous program. I know, I know...its scary and fear of the unknown is almost crippling, but its worth it. I guarantee you will meet people there who have gone to far greater lengths in the name of this addiction than you have. Click here to find a local meeting. Its not the only way to fight this addiction...I suppose this battle could be fought without the SA program or having accountability, but personally, I'm in the SA program because prefer not to bring a knife to a gun fight.
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Indeed it is difficult. At times it tortures me mentally, though nowadays I'm not feeling it hard on mind.
I will do research on it. Link is not opening. But I'll manage to have a look at it.
And, thanks for reply and advice.
Yes, fighting it alone is difficult.
  1. Acceptance of one's weaknesses.
  2. Non-perfectionist attitude towards recovery.
These 2 helps get recovered as I've discovered. Also,
  • Staying mentally present and active. (By means of proper Wake-Up Sleep schedule). -- to fight the urges.
  • Staying patient and open minded towards pitfalls that may appear.
It is very complex at times. I wonder what kind of connection it is, in actual, that has been established between a man and a woman. What it is that we need to avoid to stay sober unless married. Too harsh, and when relapsed, too depressing and harmful.
Anyways, thank you for support.
 
B L A N K F A C A E said:
Im sorry you aree struggling but dont give up,you can overcome this i recommend you check out a guy named mark queppet on youtube and watch his stuff especially the sexual self mastery series im certain,its not about staying motivated all the time,discipline and consistencey is key dont be too hard on yourself and you are not alone
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Yes, @B L A N K F A C A E , it makes sense to not be so hard on ourselves but to take the full responsibility of our behaviour and discipline.
Yes, discipline the point so far I'm struggling with. Like, see if I do it properly, how it affects my recovery. Because, Life is all about giving a try!

So, can we say, it is going to be,
  • Mark queppet's series on self mastery.
  • Giving a try to Discipline.
  • Not feeling alone and
    "Convincing yourself that we are not alone." :emoji_nerd::emoji_slight_smile::emoji_sweat_smile:
Thanks!
Thus is Life!
Live long!
 
B L A N K F A C A E said:
Im sorry you aree struggling but dont give up,you can overcome this i recommend you check out a guy named mark queppet on youtube and watch his stuff especially the sexual self mastery series im certain,its not about staying motivated all the time,discipline and consistencey is key dont be too hard on yourself and you are not alone
Click to expand...
Yes, @B L A N K F A C A E , it makes sense to not be so hard on ourselves but to take the full responsibility of our behaviour and discipline.
Yes, discipline the point so far I'm struggling with. Like, see if I do it properly, how it affects my recovery. Because, Life is all about giving a try!

So, can we say, it is going to be,
  • Mark queppet's series on self mastery.
  • Giving a try to Discipline.
  • Not feeling alone and
    "Convincing yourself that we are not alone." :emoji_nerd::emoji_slight_smile::emoji_sweat_smile:
Thanks!
Thus is Life!
Live long!
 
Homo sapien. said:
I've tried everything possible.
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seems unlikely, heh. but I now that feeling of despair well.

Have you gone to zoom meetings to share and meet with other addicts (and get a sponsor)? It is the only thing that got me sober, after 7 years of failed attempts at so much else. You can read my old posts here about it.

There are free SAA meetings every 2-3 hours. Just search "Sex Addicts Anonymous meetings" Heres a quote that helps me:

"Sex addiction is not just a bad habit. Nor is it the result of poor self-control, a lack of morals, or a series of mistakes. If it were something we could stop on our own, the negative consequences would have been enough to make us stop. Many of us tried to cure ourselves with religious or spiritual practice, moral discipline, or self-improvement. Despite our sincerity and our best efforts, we continued to act out. Our behavior eluded all rational attempts at explanation or correction. We had to face the fact that we had a disease, and that we could not stop the addictive behavior by ourselves."

- [page 9 from the SAA "green book"]

That despair of "rock bottom" is what finally got me into every day recovery. There is hope on the other side :)
 
cleaningupmyact said:
Sex addiction is not just a bad habit. Nor is it the result of poor self-control, a lack of morals, or a series of mistakes. If it were something we could stop on our own, the negative consequences would have been enough to make us stop. Many of us tried to cure ourselves with religious or spiritual practice, moral discipline, or self-improvement. Despite our sincerity and our best efforts, we continued to act out. Our behavior eluded all rational attempts at explanation or correction. We had to face the fact that we had a disease, and that we could not stop the addictive behavior by ourselves."

- [page 9 from the SAA "green book"]
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It is correct.
cleaningupmyact said:
Sex Addicts Anonymous meetings
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I didn't know about it.
cleaningupmyact said:
Have you gone to zoom meetings to share and meet with other addicts (and get a sponsor)?
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Nein.
cleaningupmyact said:
It is the only thing that got me sober, after 7 years of failed attempts at so much else.
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That is a true and make me anxious as well.
It truly stay so long.
But, good to know, you are out if it. Awesome.
cleaningupmyact said:
You can read my old posts here about it.
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OK.
cleaningupmyact said:
That despair of "rock bottom" is what finally got me into every day recovery. There is hope on the other side :)
Click to expand...
Indeed.
I shall try...
 
Hey brother, just wanted to let you know that relapses are part of the process. Be kind to yourself, forget about any promises and keep focusing on what you know is the right thing to do.
 
You can’t willpower this away. You have to learn how to rewire your brain. Your neurons have wired together to like this, you have to learn to unwired them to not like this. The only way to do that is to not engage in it and get your mind focused on other things.

also, do you remember that you’re gonna fail, and that’s OK. what matters is the fact that you pick yourself up dust yourself off and get back on the horse! The best thing you can do is to journal about what’s going on write down your triggers learn what sets you off and then come back stronger the next time. Use your Journal as a diagnostic tool And think about what really set you off as usually it’s not something that happened that day it’s something that happened several days ago.
 
stmos said:
You can’t willpower this away. You have to learn how to rewire your brain. Your neurons have wired together to like this, you have to learn to unwired them to not like this. The only way to do that is to not engage in it and get your mind focused on other things.

also, do you remember that you’re gonna fail, and that’s OK. what matters is the fact that you pick yourself up dust yourself off and get back on the horse! The best thing you can do is to journal about what’s going on write down your triggers learn what sets you off and then come back stronger the next time. Use your Journal as a diagnostic tool And think about what really set you off as usually it’s not something that happened that day it’s something that happened several days ago.
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When you say, I'll have to learn, how I can unwire, I get it. I learned it, when I tried the same you mentioned here like, getting busy in matters. Also, getting less worried...
@stmos , it happens, no matter what! Followed by a feeling as if the heart is stabbed and I can't move a bit.
Anyhow, thanks for your advice.
 
Chrispl said:
You can also work on resolving trauma (possibly mostly from childhood).
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@Chrispl , I literally don't know how to do that. I don't even know if I'm having a trauma and also not if it is from childhood or ongoing matters or education system.
I sound stupid, please don't judge me for that.
Your kind words appreciated.
Hope you do well in recocery.
All the best.
 
Homo sapien. said:
@Chrispl , I literally don't know how to do that. I don't even know if I'm having a trauma and also not if it is from childhood or ongoing matters or education system.
I sound stupid, please don't judge me for that.
Your kind words appreciated.
Hope you do well in recocery.
All the best.
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It's kind of a given to have trauma, because while we are childer we are very emotionally vulnerable, so it's easy for events to have a strong emotional impact on us.
To work with resolving trauma You'd need some trauma based therapy or some trauma resolving online course or something like that.
I was lucky to find such an online course. Unfortunately it's in Polish language only so far, so that won't be able to help You (I'm Polish).

I've barely begin the course, so the effects are not super great yet, but I'm very hopeful, that it'll help me to deal with this addiction once and for all.

I wish You all the best too :)
 
Chrispl said:
It's kind of a given to have trauma, because while we are childer we are very emotionally vulnerable, so it's easy for events to have a strong emotional impact on us.
To work with resolving trauma You'd need some trauma based therapy or some trauma resolving online course or something like that.
I was lucky to find such an online course. Unfortunately it's in Polish language only so far, so that won't be able to help You (I'm Polish).

I've barely begin the course, so the effects are not super great yet, but I'm very hopeful, that it'll help me to deal with this addiction once and for all.

I wish You all the best too :)
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Thanks for that.

After repeatedly listening about therapy, I think i should have a look at it, that what it is and it's existence in Pakistan.

Chrispl said:
You (I'm Polish).
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Good to know that.

Chrispl said:
I'm very hopeful, that it'll help me to deal with this addiction once and for all.
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Indeed. Try your best, without worrying about outcomes. Whatever life has to offer, shall be welcomed indeed.

Chrispl said:
I wish You all the best too :)
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I wish you too...

Zawsze bądź szczęśliwy i odnoszący sukcesy! :emoji_slight_smile:
 
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