What I learned from a toxic relationship

Unfortunately I spent two years in a very toxic relationship. To make a long story short I was with a woman with Borderline Personality Disorder who constantly prayed on my weaknesses and made life slowly turn into hell. I did however after self reflecting look at what in me allowed this toxicity to exist. I began linking some personal issues stemming from childhood that never were dealt with. I then learned how watching P and fapping from the age 13 until recently has actually been a form of self medication. The last year and a half I lost my drive as a man. I had been a touring musician since 21 and very ambitious resilient and to be honest the lay year that all reversed.

My main point is now that I have made the connection it has been easier to execute the mental toughness to quit p once and for all. My Last attempt was 4 years ago and I made it to 31 days. I think the difference now is that quitting is more symbolic to the healing process in all other parts of my life. It's essential to my growth and Ability to get on track. It's good to know there's others here that understand. Any time I even think to get tempted , I log on here. Whenever I have thoose quick thoughts of p I go on here to supplement the association.