What I love about the NoFap forum: "maximal/pluralistic inclusion" in the fight against pornography!

Discussion in 'NoFap Technical Support and Feedback' started by Yesodi, Mar 21, 2016.

  1. Yesodi

    Yesodi Distinguished Fapstronaut

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    In an effort to become a bit more active on the NoFap subreddit, I decided to post a few links, and in the process, noticed this post: "Am I wasting my time on this sub?", in which the author complains:

    This post caught my eye, and I'd like to share with you my response. Please note that the opinions posted are entirely my own, and -- although I've recently become a moderator of this site -- this post does not formally speak in the name of NoFap.com. Still, I'd like to hope that my opinions which I've shared here are fully harmonious with the "spirit of NoFap.com."

    I welcome your comments!

    My response on the subreddit:

    I don't think so.

    I must admit that I haven't been very active on this subreddit, but at least regarding the NoFap.com site (for which I've been newly appointed as a moderator!), I think that the policy of maintaining a secular (though NOT anti-religious) forum where the dogma is anti-porn (but "masturbation-agnostic") ... has been a very WISE one.

    If I correctly understand NoFap.com's "official view on masturbation," it is that it is not necessarily "wrong," and that it should neither be encouraged nor discouraged. In other words, if one feels that they "need" to masturbate, and that this will not interfere with their "reboot," then they should feel free to do so without guilt.

    IMHO, such a policy allows for maximal inclusion of both "pro-MO" and "anti-MO" opinions, in the same way that it facilitates inclusion of both secularly- and religiously-motivated fighters against pornography. In other words, since NoFap.com does not explicitly ENCOURAGE masturbation (or oppose RELIGION), people who are personally religious and/or anti-MO can pretty much feel at home, or at least comfortable.

    The community seeks to unite as many people as possible around the least-common-denominator -- which happens to be fighting pornography -- without excluding people that have additional, non-conflictng, agendas.

    For the record, I am personally quite religious, and thus also against masturbation (and of course, also against pornography). But I fully respect the right of individuals in the community, as well as the community as a whole, to focus exclusively on the secular-based fight again porn. And I likewise feel that the community respects the rights of people like myself to personally be against masturbation as well, and to base their personal opposition also (or even mainly) on religious beliefs if they choose.
     
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  2. Knight Solaire

    Knight Solaire Fapstronaut

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    IMO, masturbation is so intertwined with pornography that if one truly wants to "reboot" they must give up both. Conditioning yourself to get dopamine from PMO and MO is like a cat imprinting on a tree. You are conditioning your mind to bond with your hand and porn, not to the opposite sex, therefore, you are conditioning your mind to crave porn and mastubation when that need for intamacy presents itself.

    That is why you have these intense feelings of emptiness, lonely, depression, sadness, etc. These feelings will never go away unless the emotions driving them are dealt with. Such emotions are made much easier to deal with when you do not take part in "escapist" activities such as addictive behavior, being passive aggressive, and even avoiding confrontation.

    Your life is in your own hands, take it and live for it, not in it. There are so many beautiful, wonderful people in this world that if you would just stop watching porn or stop MOing for a second, you could open your eyes and see. Remove MO, PMO, and P from your life, and I promise with all my heart, that you will see the light and it is beautiful!

    Just give it some thought, why do I need MO, if not to PMO? Because you are also addicted to getting dopamine from MOing, therefore you need to abstain from both. I'm not saying porn is inherently bad nor am I saying MO is. That is for you to decide. What I'm telling is my opinion supported by facts. So many life experiences lived through this forum, my group, and this addiction. I've witness countless friends fall off the face of the earth because they simply can't let go of this crutch.

    You don't need them to live life! You are the master of your mind, body, and soul!
     
    Last edited: Mar 21, 2016
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  3. Ikindaknew

    Ikindaknew Fapstronaut

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    MO or not to MO THAT is the question! Lol.

    Basically, for me, the deathgrip and constant release of semen did get me less sensitive and more tired. So I personaly reaped the benefits of not MO'ing, on top of staying away from porn.
    I guess its easier to stop MO'ing when you are in a couple. If I was single, I would probably be still PMO'ing (my wife triggered my quest to stop PMO).
     
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  4. Buzz Lightyear

    Buzz Lightyear Fapstronaut

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    Case closed. This site heavily stresses the role dopamine plays in the brain's addiction. MO is fuelling this. It's only logical that people have to quit MO as well as PMO. Where is the real difference between doing it to pixelated images or to mental images? Ok, you become a little lazier, a little more passive, with the pixels.
     
    Last edited: Mar 22, 2016
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  5. Buzz Lightyear

    Buzz Lightyear Fapstronaut

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    ....and let go of your crutch.:D
     
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  6. Headspace

    Headspace Fapstronaut

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    I agree, but I would go even further.

    Since I have started NoFap, the meaning of the word "masturbation" has expanded a lot for me. I would go as far as to say that every act which you do for the sole sake of getting your dopamine fix (often using a lot of rationalization), and which has the tendency not to free you, but to chain you, can be considered masturbation in a way. How do you know what chains you and what frees you? Use your intuition. You know it by intuition.

    Every kind of clinical addiction falls into this by definition, but it goes even further. Thus, in a way...
    ...watching a second movie when you know the first one you watched today already was enough can be considered masturbation.
    ...eating food which you know does more harm than good to your body can be considered masturbation.
    ...following any bad habit, although you're aware it is a bad habit, can be considered masturbation.
    ...chasing pussy can be considered masturbation, even if you eventually get to sleep with that girl. In that case, it will be "mutual masturbation", as Teal Swan calls it.

    The difference between actually masturbating with porn or actually masturbating without porn doesn't play much of a role anymore if you expand the concept like this. Free yourself.

    EDIT: I am aware this is quite a radical statement. It doesn't mean you have to stop all of your bad habits tomorrow. For a start, it just means you should be honest with yourself! Then you can improve yourself step by step, if you want to.
     
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  7. Buzz Lightyear

    Buzz Lightyear Fapstronaut

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    Hmmm... I wonder if you might be giving too much significance, or credit, to the word. I mean, everything is what it is, and not another thing. So if I eat ten chocolate bars it is not masturbation but gluttony.

    1. the stimulation or manipulation of one's own genitals, especially to orgasm; sexual self-gratification.
    2. the stimulation, by manual or other means exclusive of coitus, of another's genitals, especially to orgasm.

    The long-standing speculation is that this Latin word is altered (probably by influence of turbare "to stir up") from *manstuprare, from manu, ablative of manus "hand" (see manual ) + stuprare "defile" (oneself), from stuprum "defilement, dishonor," related to stupere "to be stunned, stupefied"
     
  8. Headspace

    Headspace Fapstronaut

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    Yes, you're right... you could probably replace the word by a way more accurate one in my post, may be "getting your fix" in general. It's just that starting NoFap made me realize that this is about more. This is how the whole concept expanded for me :)
     
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