I have been thinking a lot lately about this line from @fadedfidelity : “Men, would you support & be empathetic to a woman who denys you, lies, cheats, and spends your money on hotel rooms for lovers & can’t stop?” And I would add, “for years.” When I read through some of the SO journals here and talk to other women in my support group I often hear different versions of this question/sentiment. I think of my own situation, where I really believe I gave it my all until I had to pull out in order to save myself, and I ask, “If the shoe had been on the other foot (I was the addict and had behaved the way he did), would my husband have put in the level of effort I did to support my recovery and save our marriage? Not only do I think “no”, but the very idea seems preposterous to me. So what do you say, PA’s? How would you answer @fadedfidelity ‘s question?