What is p/m/o is as good as it gets? My life is such a mess, especially for my age, that the only time I feel any pleasure at all is when I p/m/o. Sad, I know. I can abstain but I often find myself wondering why I even try. It's almost as if I think things can't and won't get better, like I have no hope for myself or the future.
You say you can abstain. Then it sounds to me that your life, which you say is a mess and wont get better, is less important to you than your precious pmo, that you could get rid of, but dont really want to. Yes, with this attitude your life will not improve a lot.
