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What is delayed ejaculation like for you?

Discussion in 'Porn-Induced Sexual Dysfunctions' started by Tubal, Sep 26, 2016.

  1. Tubal

    Tubal Fapstronaut

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    I'd like to hear what it is like for other men. Is having DE always related to having a loss of sensation in your penis? Do you go at it and kind of stay at a plateau the whole time?

    In my case, I have great sensations while I'm inside. I don't feel numb. It feels normal. I also get to the right before cumming point 3-5 times, so there are lots of peaks, just not the Mount Everest whose summit I want to conquer and whose top I want to see blown off and spewing lava. I usually give up out of exhaustion.
     
  2. overclocked

    overclocked Fapstronaut

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    Hehe. I had it. Though a few months ago I had an orgasm inside a woman - with a condom. Just keep rebooting and the sensitivity will return!

    For me all sensations were a little bit dulled down, but that might not have been the reason why I couldn't finish. I had a plateau. If 0 is not aroused at all and 10 is the orgasm I would say I couldn't get past 6 or 7.
    Only my own death grip could do the job.
    I didn't feel too bad about it. I was happy if I could even get an erection so when I could get it I just enjoyed myself and tried to keep it up.
     
  3. Cantkeepmeaway

    Cantkeepmeaway Fapstronaut

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    For me it's like just a normal chore muscle spasm unfortunately.

    But I remember once when I was at like 120+ days (no P, no M) that you couldn't stop me from getting an erection. Trust me the orgasms after you are fully rebooted are FUCKING INTENSE

    So just be patient, it will become so intense once you get pass 90 days, you'll be scared to have an orgasm because you might die of "over-pleasurasation" lol
     
  4. DBug

    DBug Fapstronaut

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    The plateau analogy fits me well. Same with the dulled down pleasure. My then gf was always the one that had to end the sex because I didn't get nowhere and 15-45 min. was the absolute limit for her. To me it made no difference. As long as I didn't loose my erection when changing positions I could keep going with my 75-80% boner forever and getting nowhere in terms of orgasm.

    It became a huge burden in our relationship. It's just horrible what porn has done to us - or we to ourselves with porn.
     
    jabari624 and Nelly67 like this.
  5. overclocked

    overclocked Fapstronaut

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    Sorry to hear that this is stressing your relationship. Is your gf mad at you for not orgasming? When I'm cured I plan on having sex without finishing, actually because I like the nofap feeling of awareness and full balls :D
    Until now I always managed to reach orgasm, most of the time by my own hand but as nI said I'm cured from that. I'm on a monk mode challenge so I won't have sex anytime soon.

    Btw I always tended to need longer. I can remember even when I first discovered how to masturbate to orgasm I needed a few minutes and good strokes to finish. Porn sessions turned it to an extreme.
     
  6. DBug

    DBug Fapstronaut

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    This is all in the past, she's my ex. Avoided sex ever since - even more once I found out about ybop and my addiction since I then knew that I wouldn't be able to enjoy sex until I got clean and stayed that way for a sufficient amount of time.

    And well she wasn't mad but irritated (rightfully so) and she blamed herself being not "good/hot enough" even though I assured her that she's hot and that it - whatever it is - is MY problem and not hers. Obviously that didn't help much.

    Nah... I mean yeah the superpowers are awesome and I'm sure that part of them come not only from withdrawal but also from "keeping the sexual energy" and they are cool but I will trade them for the ability to orgasm with a women in a millisecond. I do plan to stop masturbation completely because of my deathgrip and since I won't have sex everyday I'm sure I will ride the occasional superpower-wave as well ;)

    But that's all in the future. Gottag get clean first.
     
  7. ax345

    ax345 Fapstronaut

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    I concur that dropping porn will help.

    I had DE as described here. ..lots of plateau and I would have sort of "faux" orgasms, dry, and less intense than full ones. I had DE even with masturbation...it took a long time to cum with PM. And I could not cum at all with my ex wife, nor with the first woman I was with post-divorce ( even though the novelty was hot!)

    I have since stopped porn, but never fully stopped masturbation. I have reduced it from daily to about once every 10 days or so. It took about a year, but the DE is just about gone. I'm in a relationship that is very happy, and I think the good sex is helping the relationship, which, in turn, is making the sex better. I'm trying to eliminate M, but just the reduction has helped a ton.
     
    Poagu, Nelly67 and DBug like this.
  8. DBug

    DBug Fapstronaut

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    Now that's something to aspire to.
    Thanks for sharing :)
     
  9. ax345

    ax345 Fapstronaut

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    You are most welcome, and thanks for the enouragement. I joined here already in a "good place", and it's very uplifting to know so many guys are trying to get their life back in this area. I only finally put the porn to rest a few weeks ago after decades with it. I'm working on the masturbation reduction, but haven't set a clear goal yet. But with porn removed from the equation, things are already falling into right order.
     
    DBug likes this.
  10. ax345

    ax345 Fapstronaut

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    I should mention that I started reducing both P and M a few years ago, wuth good resultd but only gave porn the complete heave-ho a little while back. it needed to go once and for all.
     
    DBug likes this.
  11. Shaparedinem

    Shaparedinem Fapstronaut

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    My DE problem often throws in a surprise now and again. I never had DE problems initially with my first long term partner. She was tight down there and I ejaculated almost every time and often in big loads too. Then my porn addiction started getting stronger and the DE problem started raring its head.

    With my second long term partner, I ejaculated during sex only twice through out the whole relationship, which was about 2 years in total (although she was out of the country for half that time). She didn't really mind or pay much notice. Probably preferred me not ejaculating because she was quite scared about getting pregnant.

    Had a one night stand about 3 or 4 years ago, and surprisingly came. Don't know if it was because the girl was tighter than previous long term partner, but either way, I was happy. Sadly though, that was the last time I ejaculated through having sex. Subsequent occasions with my current partner (who is my fiancee) involve moments when I feel I am about to climax but nothing comes out.

    I still used to ejaculate while masturbating to porn but never inside her. She hasn't kicked up a fuss yet but I reckon things would get tougher down the line, because she wants babies with me, and I wonder how I can produce babies for her when I can't come inside her. This situation is what has made me take up the NoFap challenge. I need to turn my life around. I am heading into day 3 of no PMO. 90 day Hardmode. Hope it helps me regain my penis sensitivity.
     
    Nelly67 likes this.
  12. Happy Man

    Happy Man Fapstronaut

    My dream : )
     
  13. Themadfapper

    Themadfapper Fapstronaut

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    No pleasing some people. Why the hell does she care if you orgasm or not? If you cum too quick you get complaints even berated and shamed, then when someone is the Michelin man apparently that is no good either.
     
  14. IGY

    IGY Guest

    What? o_O As short as 15 mins could be the absolute limit for her (even 45 mins). All she had to do was lie there! How can there be a limit? :confused: If she couldn't self-lube, just slap some product in there. It seems like she wasn't interested to me. :eek:
     
  15. GG2002

    GG2002 Fapstronaut

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    As a partner of someone who suffers with delayed ejaculation let me tell you I would take someone with PE in a second! A few things. First DE hits at the heart of a woman's self esteem. At least if it's PE you know the guys into you really into you! While women usually do not cause DE we think we are not hot enough to make guys orgasm and this ends a lot of relationships. Second orgasm for men is different than women. So men that can't orgasm with their partners have to orgasm in some way and so usually they end up doing it alone and avoiding sex because it never provides them with the release they need and they feel like failures also a relationship killer. Finally it's a huge misconception on the part of men that women want guys that last a long time most of us want 15 minutes of penetration max and after 45 minutes no amount of lube is going to fix the pain we are in it's not fun! I have gotten lock jaw and shoulder pain from spending hours trying to please my partner and it never works. nobody has time to set aside an hour a day for sex and when you are with a guy with DE you can't be spontaneous!
     
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  16. Themadfapper

    Themadfapper Fapstronaut

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    Guys don't have to orgasm. I'm not saying some guys don't believe that they have to orgasm, but they don't it's a myth.
     
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  17. Nelly67

    Nelly67 Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for posts like this, I've just started on this and this gives me great hope for the future.
     
  18. Nelly67

    Nelly67 Fapstronaut

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    I would love to experience PE, never been able to have a quickie, ideally would like to choose. I suffer totally from DE and although I enjoy and need the intimacy of sex, my wife has many orgasms as she comes really quickly (can women have Premature Orgasm?) so she's worn out before I even get close. This was probably the start of the spiral downwards for me, as it just becomes less hassle and less effort to do it yourself with porn. Your SO also looses interest as assumes she is no good as you don't cum. I'm hoping that giving up porn (and self masturbation) gives me back some sensitivity and makes us closer. My aim at the moment is to only do things with my wife.
     
    jabari624 likes this.
  19. Nelly67

    Nelly67 Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for sharing, this is so helpful, I've suffered with this all of my life and thought I was alone. I hope things work out for you.
     
    Shaparedinem likes this.
  20. GG2002

    GG2002 Fapstronaut

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    No it's the DE. Wrong or right most women want to have what is considered a normal sexual relationship which involves ejaculation on the part of the man. And I fully understand the mechanics of sexual functioning but that does not mean I don't feel like crap everytime we have sex and my partner fails to orgasm. I think if a man had a genuine physical issue that could not be helped some women including myself would tend to be more understanding. However when a man is PMOing and that is causing the DE and he refuses to stop even though he knows it's effecting his relationship most women won't stand for that.
     
    marriedtoastranger likes this.

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