What is it that makes you want to get up every morning despite everything?

Very good question to ask. The answer is nothing. If life is pointless so is suicide. I wake up every morning with dread that I'm going to a job that I hate in my guts, I aleays dream I'm going to do a youtube channel,write books,learm to invest so I can become rich,ho out and meet women so I can have a relationship but I never or very seldomly do it. The fact that I have to pay for a house and will most likely get divorced scares me and I use it as an excuse not to improve. But the truth is I could not get a wife right now even. I think of moving to another country starting over but again don't have the courage. Every day I live a life of quiet desperation as the quote goes. I'm just getting fucked my whole life and that has left me in a fucked state. Ro unfuck myself takes a lot of effort so I chose no to with a sigh. Happiness 100% of the time is impossiblebut depression 80% of the time sure does not seem normal.... Nothing really fulfulls me currently not the video games I play, not the movies I watch, not the conversations with my friends and family, nothing. I cannot speek my mind freely nowhere in my real life only on this fake ass silly avatar forum just like everybody else. So nothing makes me get up. Even suicide, you can't know for sure being dead is not worse. And there is always worse. Will I find motivation and look forward to doing something I love? I don't know probably not. I'll just die as an average joe or less than average joe and that's it.

 

Shiiiiiiiit. I'd give you a hug, but I feel like you'd punch me or something.

 

In real life I would never behave like this anyway, so your desire to give me hug would have never existed. This is a virtual space where we talk shit about our lives that we wouldn't otherwise after all. Aren't we "men" even when broken inside?

 

I meant a virtual hug. I spend too much time online, so those lines are a bit blurred for me. It was also meant to be lighthearted.

I went through definitions of manhood with a friend of mine, and one of his definitions was, "Is broken". He's a really bright guy who threw away his gifts because he couldn't reach the very top of his field, and started doing loads and loads of drugs instead. But yeah, he's still a man. More of a man than I am, because he's still somehow one thing, if that makes sense. He's still got a sense of self. I don't have that. Not sure whether it's brokenness or just absence. This is a conversation worth having, though!

 

No idea.

 

What a world we live in...

I read all those threads on this forum, and I have trouble understanding how people can loose hope.

This society has done a great job.

I wish I could help all of you.

 

What makes me wake up every day is hope, hope in achieving my goals, hope in building the best version of me. Life is difficult, life is a challenge, a challenge where if you get the pleasure easily you lose, when you watch porn, drink alcohol, you are basically cheating, you are supposed to work hard to succeed to get the healthy pleasure of achievement, to feel worthy of your life. What makes us happy is our achievements, you must have goals, and work for them, even if you fail, your life still has a meaning. You lose if you lose hope, no matter how bad life is, no matter how addicted you are, there is always hope.

Rather than losing, by escaping your pain, by using porn, alcohol, suicide... face them, try to solve your problems, one by one, ask for help, meet people, help others. Every life is important, everyone here is worthy of living a meaningful happy life, We deserve it but it's not easy, we have to work to get it, what makes us humans is dreams, we live to achieve those dreams.

So go to work and achieve your dreams.

 

What makes me want to get up in the morning?

I am not going to let this world defeat me. I will not lay down while other men get to f-ck pretty girls, drive around in nice cars, laugh with their friends and take all the "good jobs".

If there is a Creator, when I die, I want Him/Her/It to look at me and say, "Goddamn Hyperdrive... you just kept taking everything I threw at you, eh? Kept getting up for more? Excellent work, motherf-cker!"

Please stay away from anti-depressants. They are very crude and dangerous and will mess you up even more.

 

I tried to find fulfillment by listening to heavy music, playing violent video games and viewing pornography, but none of that satisfied me. I kept wanting more of it; it never left me with a lasting peace. I would think to myself "If I'm just supposed to find my own purpose and live in it, why do I feel so empty all the time?". I suffer from depression and that made my life a million times worse.

If I was indulging in what I ought to have been indulging in, what about when I'm 40, what will please me then? what about when I'm 50? Is surrounding myself with pride and lust really going to give me peace? I live a spiritual life and that gives me purpose and discipline; I'm a pentecostal christian. What keeps me going is serving my master, Jesus Christ. He saved me from Hell and for that I am forever grateful. Every day is another chance to make the world a better place, by being compassionate and loving my neighbors.

 

My student loans won’t pay themselves (fuck you navient!)

 

I've been through exactly that same process of procrastination, depression, despair and hopelessness.

I realised that it was a huge vicious circle, and that all of my perceived angst only fed into destructive and immoral behaviours. Was porn, drinking, gambling ever going to make me happy? Were they ever going to give me a slither of self-respect, love or dignity? Of course not.

We have the problem of viewing our various travails as parts of our personality and that we'll always be this depressed individual with nihilistic urges. We think it may give us an edge of an explanation for our mistakes but it doesn't.

If we want to progress and actually behave like men, we have to be responsible, diligent and actually be able to achieve relatively simple goals that we put our minds too.

Yes, the world isn't great at times but there's lots of incidences of that in human history.

Yes, we're not wealthy but does that mean we cannot meet somebody and marry them until we have a Ferrari in the garage? If we're actually going along with that line of thinking, then we're already losing.

It's all about looking for fulfilment in the right places.

 

I a bit late in the reply it seems but here it goes.

I relate to almost 99% of what you have just related to us. I am studying engineering and I love the work and the intensity but I just cannot seem to awaken with vigour and some plan for my day. I have tried planning and time management - it doesn't work for me. I guess I would say I just wake up and do what I have to do. I cannot do anything else but it really does feel like a rat race scenario. I will not lie and say I wake up and motivated to work and do it for my family and I love everything and the world is so perfect.

It is not. But thats the fun part my friend, we choose to see the world how we want to see it. Coming to think of it, we ask questions because we want to justify the answers we already know to our questions. Most questions are, rhetorical in that sense. Perhaps I can solve my problems all but in one night and carry on.........but we know thats the lie we tell ourselves.

We have to just keep fighting the next day. Battles are not won over one night and certainly wars take years. Lets carry on the fight regardless brother.

I went on a heavy tangent. But I hope I made sense.

 

Good question and a pretty though one. I hate mornings. I have nothing going for me nowadays. Depression can be a person. I have had my fair share of rainy days. Sometimes suicidal thoughts creep up on me. I talked with my girlfriend about it today. She has schizophrenia. I havent told her about my suicide attempts in the past but that is another topic for another day. She told me that she has been suicidal because of her illness. Thinking that she will never be normal. That is probably the main issue. Seeing oneself as an isolated fragment in an alien universe. No matter how many rainy days you experience in a row, there will be sun. It cant last forever even though it may feel that way. At the very least if you are feeling suicidal, just keep going. Cling on to whatever tiny hope you got. The world have litteraly been falling apart around me. Most of my early friends got killed or killed themselves. Family members, pets. I have been broke and hungry, freezing cold in the woods at night. It may feel like like you wont make it. Even in a warm and cozy bed, those thoughts can ruin your life. When you get up in the morning, remember that life is precious. It is not something to just throw away. Even if you dont believe it. Life is precious. Thats facts. Life and only life. Connect with life. Make sure to do whatever makes you enjoy life. Working to earn money is not living. You have to enjoy every step. Move forward with purpose.

 

From hearing what little bit of your story you've put in your post, I would say that, like many others, it is possible to overcome your addictions (I'm still fighting mine as well). But think about this. When you finally have 3 months, 6 months, 1 year, 2 years of sobriety from all of this, what will your life look like?

The first thing that comes to my mind is you're going to have an incredible story to tell. A story that will be able to help others that are in the place you're in right now. A story that will reach people at their rock bottom and make them say "If this person did it, and he was in that place, then maybe I can do it too". You will be able to instill hope and strength in people who are struggling.

Just think of these things to start with. They are true, and since they're true, that means your life is really worth something. Don't let the lies in your head keep you from believing that you have incredible potential to be a light in the lives of others by how you live each day.

I hope this is helpful. I'm also speaking to myself as I write this. Both of us will be free someday. But it starts with today, that's all we can worry about.