What is the best way to get her out of my head?

Discussion in 'Dating during a Reboot' started by FEEL, May 6, 2018.

  1. FEEL

    FEEL Fapstronaut

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    Hey!
    does anybody know what is the best way to get an ex-lover out of your head? (especially at night times)
    I experienced it yesterday, I closed my eyes and all I saw was her and I just couldn't fall asleep :/ Please, help!
     
  2. kingpietro

    kingpietro Fapstronaut

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    Start seducing other woman.. You're body thinxs she is the one but the moment you start talking to other woman and you feel a connection. (even she doesn't feel it towards you) you're body will realise there is more then "one true love".
     
  3. Karimtolstoi

    Karimtolstoi Fapstronaut

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    Recall her defaults. After all everyone one of us should have ones.
     
  4. FEEL

    FEEL Fapstronaut

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    And what if I'm not ready for a relationship yet?
    I do talk to girls sometimes (not on a romantic level) and I try to distract myself during the day but it doesn't help me too much because at the end of the day I still find myself laying in my bed alone and thinking about her.
    I'm not gonna lie, I do feel some sort of relief as the time passes but that's still not enough :/
     
  5. kingpietro

    kingpietro Fapstronaut

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    Well i've had the same feeling about a girl who i was in love with. And i tried to realise how many times i've had the same feeling with other woman(other relationships or even woman i've just met)

    I am not saying you need to start dating them Just keeping an eye on you're emotions from the past and present and realise you had those feelings before and everything worked out perfectlly in the end..

    you need to see and change you're mindset and see there are more "true love's" in the world.

    When i realised i've had the same shit feeling about another girl(ex) or girl i once dated or tried to seduce i realised there are more true love's on this world. everything is going to be ok.
     
  6. immadothis

    immadothis Fapstronaut

    let the thought be and accept it and then don't focus on it but also don't try to fight it, fight it when fantasize happens
     
  7. FEEL

    FEEL Fapstronaut

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    I think that I'm slowly getting over her. Thanks for the advice.
     
  8. immadothis

    immadothis Fapstronaut

    also medicin worked for me lol, I took polyvitles(which is made by a guy, so doesn't exist) with gingseng, I think maybe gingseng will help but I took with another thing so yeah idk,
     
  9. phwrancesco

    phwrancesco Fapstronaut

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    i did it quitting masturbation. You come to the point where your physical needs are that strong that you'll quickly forget your ex lover to find another lady! it took about 80 days for me.
     
  10. Abird

    Abird Fapstronaut

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    Well love is a drug, and when you have a lover you get addicted to it. So you need to get arid of the addiction. How to do this is for everybody different. Some go out with friends, some start a new relationship, some hit the gym (more), some take a new intrest, etc. It all involes doing something to get your thoughts of your ex lover. Good luck with this hard task!
     
  11. Hey!

    It might sound odd, but what helped me in situations like this is that stop fighting with your mind and thoughts.
    So you want to stop thinking about her, thats why you always try to avoid your thoughts » so one way you are thinking about her and the other way you are thinking about her but in a context of not trying to think about her..

    I was really the jealous type, I never wanted to lose my gf, I cried over nights because she went to a party and I was home alone. Although she would never cheat me, I knew it deep in my hearth!

    So what helped me is acceptance. I think you should accept that know you think about her, and (this will be the hardest part) accept that you probably will never be together.
    I was struggling with thoughts and trying not thinking about her cheating..but it seemed impossible, so I tried what I nobody wants to do..I imagined that she is making out with a guy, imagined every little detail of how she is having sex with another man... I had tears in my eyes, sleepless nights with these images on my mind..
    After 4-5 times of this practice, it became neutral. Finally I got to the point, where I looked at the whole picture. That I cannot control what she is doing when she is not with me, and thats the part of life and I am totally okay with it. Today I look at this like this: Maybe she cheats on me, maybe not. I cannot control it.

    My deepest fear became a reality in my mind, I won the battle and now it feels nothing when this topic comes up.

    Plenty of girls out there. If I were you I wouldnt try running after another girl just to forget her, because if something is broken inside you, you should fix it first (or it will be broken later on too..)
    I hope this little story helped!

    All the best!
     
  12. shezraan

    shezraan Fapstronaut

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    I have been following your posts with some interest.

    It's not unnatural to dream of her in certain situations, and oddly enough crushes from the present and past both end up dropping into my dreams, kek. It's wholly possible that I created an image of them being great people, when in reality they are just like me: ordinary to a fault. True, they seem to improve with time, or just seem to be doing better in general but really, everyone's trying to articulate their existence, and not every attempt made is fruitful.

    You must come to terms with the fact that in this endless effort, people end up changing, and not always to our benefit. So are we, and similarly, they sense this. So change your perspective, I suppose. For me, the girl I liked in the past is no more, that image is outdated, and the person in its place is a different one from the one I had fantasies about. Of course, I'm still trying to get over my current crush, so I must learn to see beyond my perspective that adjudges in one dimension, and realise that the image I've created of her isn't quite accurate, and that I must move on.

    Imaginative though I am, maybe projecting the characteristics of the one I desire into females in my periphery isn't healthy, and I must keep updating my perspective about people, and disallow expectations from mangling with my imagination in general.

    Moving on then becomes a maneuver to change your mind about what you wish for. It's not far from accurate to say that at one point, I felt that they were close to the image of the person I desired, but as we all changed, they stopped fitting to that template, and that my salvation is to change what I desire for in general.
     

  13. Seducing other women, or get busy doing something at that time you think about her, repeat in your head "I am stronger each day"...or " What about that movie or book or hobby", we can fall in love for 10 women at the same day, go to a busy road/square in town and you will see how silly we are...
     
    Abesnake likes this.
  14. Abesnake

    Abesnake Fapstronaut

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    Andy is right on it. The seducing game is the best "drug" you can get for this situation. I like to remember a stanza from "Intimations on immortality" by William Wordsworth when I have to deal with this type situation: "Nothing can bring back the hour of splendor in the grass, glory in the flower, for we will grieve not...rather find strength in what remains behind."
     

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