What i've learned + my new plan (no religios stuff)

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by cosinusX, Apr 7, 2020.

  1. cosinusX

    cosinusX Fapstronaut

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    Hi guys,

    i want to share some ideas with you and want to hear your opinion.

    But first let me tell you about my situation. I try to beat the addiction for a couple of years now. Because of my lack of motivation and the missing of selfcontroll I only started a couple of streaks, which were very small (biggest 14 days).
    But I really need to stop because i spend way too much time. (I really suffer from it in many ways.)

    So i started asking myself if the classic 90 days no pmo is the right thing for me.
    Furthermore i asked myself if porn is the source of my problem rather that an effect from other problems.

    I came to the conclusion that other problems, such as low selfvalue, low selflove, the feeling of emptiness, mental stress or problems with work or parents may be the reason we start to develop this addiction. Because Fapping is a way to deal with this feelings.
    I think in order to beat the addiction, the 90 days may be the fastest way to do so.
    But it wont work, even if you stay strong for 90 days, your personality still have tendencies to relapse. Because you never learn how to deal with the other problems in your life.

    Now my idea/plan:

    Before i try the 90 days no pmo i'm gonna prepare myself mentally for this.
    I planned to do some excercises to increase my self-confidence, self-worth and selflove. (I can post them if interested)
    Also I will do some meditation to decrease the mental stress.
    And I plan to do some simple sports excercises.
    Furthermore i try to not watch any porn, but masturbation is ok in this state.
    I will do this for 20 days (that's the amount of time your brain needs to learn new habits)

    And after these 20 days i hope that i'm mentally prepared to do the 90 days no pmo.

    What do you think about this plan? Did you do similar thinks?
    Let me know about it :)

    Greets from Germany (sry for possible english failures)
     
    domsi and nirav2696 like this.
  2. Baowistop

    Baowistop Fapstronaut

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    If you feel thats suits you, go for it. Write to yourself/here your feelings now and at the end of the plan. Its a bit tricky: low self-esteem and confidence may be the reason that you've turned to porn but the opposite may be also true. I think you should drop masturbation too because "natrual" mastubating can escalate very quickly
     
    domsi likes this.
  3. cosinusX

    cosinusX Fapstronaut

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    Maybe i should. I still feel the urge when masturbating without porn.
     
    Baowistop likes this.
  4. domsi

    domsi Fapstronaut

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    i think its a solid idea my dude! but as baowistop said, drop the masturbation aswell.
    youre basicly giving yourself a testrun to see if you can make it. having the 20 day goal is way more achievable, but still useful, ane its a great first step to build your longer streak on. rome wasnt built in a day, or in this case 90 days. most guys fail for a looong time before getting to the 90 days marker. this way you have a more reasonable shortterm goal,and an easier to achieve long term one. my only question is, would you count the 20 testdays into the 90 day streak, or will it be 110 days at the end?
     
  5. GaryMayor

    GaryMayor Fapstronaut

    I like the idea, that addiction is an unsuccesful attempt to heal other psychological problems. I think focusing on your mental health is a good idea, but I'm not sure why you experience such low self-esteem etc., so I don't know if exercising will be enough. Anyway, it can't be a bad idea to incorporate these habits :)
     
  6. cosinusX

    cosinusX Fapstronaut

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    I like the comparison to rome. You are right about that, most people fail because they set their goals too high. I experienced this with running. Last year i tried to make running a new good habit for me. So I went out and ran 5 km (3.1 mil). After that i was so exhausted that i never tried it again. The motivation was gone, because my brain thought it was a negative activity (because of aching). The goal should have been 2 km or less.

    I wont count the 20 testdays into the 90 day streak, because right now I'm still masturbating without porn. Maybe I'm starting another 20 testdays without masturbating after that (which i would count into the 90 days).
     
    domsi likes this.
  7. cosinusX

    cosinusX Fapstronaut

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    My psychological problems have their roots in bad parenting and negative experiences with women. I was thinking about ending it all, and that I'll never be able to experience love.
    It was such an pain that i contacted my doctor last year, I'm still doing a psychotherapy.
    This was a good decision, my mind feels kinda stable now.
    But it wont be enaugh if I just go to the therapy, I also need to work on myself.
    These exercises are very simple. Their goal is to change the way you think and talk about yourself.
    For example one of them is to stay infront of a mirror and telling yourself good beliefs ("You are a loveable person"). So your brain will memorize this and hopefully forget the bad beliefs.
     
    GaryMayor likes this.

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