In porn addiction(like all addictions) one the best ways to recover and move forward is discover and pursue what matters to you most. If you are struggling with addiction, the reason why is because your pleasure mattered to you most. It mattered to you more than anything else. Why does your spouse feel betrayed? One of many reasons is that satiating your sexual needs mattered more to you than she did. It mattered more than her sense of feeling loved and protected by you. As I recover, and see more clearly everyday, what I am learning is that protecting and nourishing the heart and the spirit of my wife is what matters to me most. Example: Just this morning I was at the gym, and there were several women there who are very attractive. Like many women at the gym, they treat themselves cheaply. They put themselves on display with skin tight clothing that doesn’t always cover much to begin with. They are by and large hurting little girls in women’s bodies trying to seek the affirmation and acceptance of others (this is not a problem unique to women). Was I tempted to look at them? Not really. This is a new things for me. Why wasn’t I tempted when it was such a problem in the past? Because protecting and nourishing my wife’s heart matters to me most. It matters to me more than selfish indulgence. I want her to flourish more than I want to satiate my own sexual desires. I want her to prosper and feel love and adoration more than I want to jack off in the bathroom. I want her to prosper, so I serve her. This post is not meant to exalt myself. Lord knows I am a weak, foolish, child, who by the Grace of God is learning how to be a man for the first time. The purpose of this post is to show you that the other side is WORTH IT. Seeing my wife flourish revitalizes my soul. Seeing past all the lies this world shoves in our faces and seeking lasting value does pay off. Its almost impossible to fathom when you are in the thick of withdrawal, but keep pressing forward. Men. Our temptation is to feel weak and helpless. We are not. Just like we have the power to choke the life and joy out of our relationships, we also have the same proportion of power and influence to make our marriages and relationships life giving and enriching to our woman. Do not believe the lie that you are helpless. You are not. I am going to post some recovery tips in the comments.