what next please helpppppl

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by learningisanart2020, Mar 25, 2021.

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  1. learningisanart2020

    learningisanart2020 Fapstronaut

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    Hello friends,
    My story is as follows, actually I am not in to born but a similar kinds of addiction like reading erotica and roleplaying. I didn't know that I am actually in to this trap until I tried to have real sex. World went spirally down as my manhood didn't work and I was hell worried from then and contacted several doctors and no one knew what exactly is my problem and they consider it just as performance anxiety and prescribed me blue pills. Those pills didn't solve my problem and instead I stared having headaches.

    In September 2020, I came across this wonderful forum and came to know about dopamine , PIED etc. I started my first streak in the end of September and I had a successful run for 34 days and I relapsed. IN those 34 days, though I had minor peeps in to some images , I was very positive and seen some nominal benefits like increased focus etc and from then I didn't make any serious attempt till February.
    In February 2021 and I started another streak seriously and I found few more benefits this time. But after 14 days and I lost it again.
    Now I am in my 3rd serious attempt and I am in to 7th day. But this time unlike my last times, the initial 6 days were not so pleasant at all, I felt no motivation, and bit depressed and I am very much worried about the recovery of PIED. Than urges I am finding it hard to fight with my brain to believe that I will recover to be proper male that actually I am.
    Today is my 7th day and I have woke up early in the morning and did some workouts and then meditated for 10 mins and I am feeling pleasant. Things i didn't do in my early streaks were, I didn't meditate and didn't down my journal. So, I am starting this thread to help myself and also my fellow members, by regularly updating my process and progress. Hoping to stay strong and recover soon.
     
  2. PegasusKid

    PegasusKid Fapstronaut

    Good luck, it sounds like you are making progress over time. Its a shame doctors didn't at all consider heavy porn use to be a problem and instead just threw pills at you. You seem self aware about what went wrong with past streaks which is a start, but also keep in mind why you didn't do those things. If you know what you didn't do right AND why you didn't do it right, you're on your way to properly correcting behavior.
     
  3. learningisanart2020

    learningisanart2020 Fapstronaut

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    Thank you brother, thanks for making time to reply me and encouraging me. All the best for your progress too.
     
  4. learningisanart2020

    learningisanart2020 Fapstronaut

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    Yesterday was fantastic, I had very good day at work and remained focus, if it all I am in to my olden habits I wouldn't have handled them so, well. But the core issue is not about focus at work, but PIED, in that department currently I don't have any Libido at all, a part me is constantly pushing me to test my little brother down there, there is lot of confusion whether he is still working at all and will eventual become what is normal.
    Today I am in to 8th day, I woke up early today also and did some work outs and did meditation. As of now feeling pleasant. When it comes to libido still nothing is there. Hoping for the best and making myself believe that I should trust the process, after all it is said " Body Achieves what mind believes"
     
  5. learningisanart2020

    learningisanart2020 Fapstronaut

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    Glad to say, even the 8th went well, had a good if not a fantastic day at work, and coming to libido and PIED not much improvement yet. Today I am in to 9th day. Woke up early, did workouts and did meditation and having a pleasant feel. Going forward with the motive " Body achieves what mind believes". Thank you
     
  6. learningisanart2020

    learningisanart2020 Fapstronaut

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    In to 13th day and I am going well till, Urges are there , But I am controlling them as of now.
     
  7. learningisanart2020

    learningisanart2020 Fapstronaut

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    In to 14thday, as I woke up and doing workouts, one of fantasies entered my thought process for few secs and I immediately killed that thought. I felt very good after killing that thought and continued my workouts. I want this will to kill such urges to continue to win my life back.
     
  8. learningisanart2020

    learningisanart2020 Fapstronaut

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    In to day 19, feeling some urges but with strong will overcoming them, I want to stay strong and change my life for ever. I want to do this for sure this time.
     
    Last edited: Apr 6, 2021
  9. learningisanart2020

    learningisanart2020 Fapstronaut

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    Completed 21 days, Urges are there and this time I don't want to give up to them.
    I have a doubt now. At times when I wake up in midnight or even in the morning I found my little brother is hard and once I piss off , it becomes smooth, are these morning woods? If so What is happening. Please forgive my innocence and help me by answering.
     
  10. learningisanart2020

    learningisanart2020 Fapstronaut

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    Can someone please help me in clarifying my doubt?
    At times when I wake up in midnight or even in the morning I found my little brother is hard and once I piss off , it becomes smooth, are these morning woods? If so, What does that mean in my rebooting process. Please forgive my innocence and help me by answering.
     
  11. learningisanart2020

    learningisanart2020 Fapstronaut

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    completed 30 days and i am getting release thoughts again and again. 30 days i handled it very easily but today i am having severe urges of old desires. Today those flashes of past are rushing again and again through my brain, though i controlled them with in few secs, may be a 10 sec. I am worried because of this my recovery will be affected as those flashes came running through.
    And I am really clueless about how to rewire myself to normal sexuality again to my real partner. Still after 30 days though my penis is getting immediate hard just with a flash of those thoughts and also having morning woods almost 4-5 times a week. How to make my progress from here. Please guide me ,,,,,,,
     

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