What path to take after relapse?

specofconsciousness · May 31, 2022

Hey!

Well, I just lost my "best" streak. It was 33 days (fighting for 2 years)

I know that the guys doing years-long streaks fail as well. They seem to have learned to cope with it and move on. I find it so hard. I thought I had the perfect setup but didn't. What I did was I wrote a long document containing my story, my problems, and the future. I said it all in that one piece of paper. I told myself, I'd always come back to this text and read it once every week. That's not what I did. With it came some general rules, and new disciplines I did not adopt. After two weeks I felt like a made man and journaled only when I had problems. I tried not to tell my gf about this whole process. Our relationship was on bumpy roads. Well, I did make it to a month, but was I content? I wasn't. And it was the stress and anger of not wholly healing that piled up, taking me back here.

This sounds awfully pessimistic and that's the way I am right now. I know my work doesn't just go to the trash here. I need to start upgrading the system. I made a promise, but that isn't enough. Hell, I didn't even tell my gf, the one that should be riding shotgun with me on this. Summer is coming up and I'm not taking this thing with me. I'm not going to be miserable. Now, the question: should I make reboot my whole path of perfection or should I pile up self-improvement and discipline? I feel as if discipline has only served me at the start, then I usually forget my new habits. How do I keep it going? Or not care about anything else but the reboot?

Also, is it me or do I just seem to forget that I ever cared about what I'm doing to my girlfriend and my future with this?

Panic... Help me with this!

UCara23 · May 31, 2022

What about your goals brother? Do you have anything you wish to accomplish besides "a good NoFap Streak? Sense of purpose is what will help you be disciplined and self-motivated. I've been relapsing so many times I'm no longer scared, every relapse motivates me because I'm learning from them. Try writing a relapse log on your journal, they'll help you accept it and take responsability. Hope this helped you.
Also, dont try to make it perfect, in other words, do not force it. I would say go "one step at a time", think how can you make today 1% better than yesterday, that'll get you moving.

Aquiantedwithsorrow · May 31, 2022

Even if you fall 7 times get back up. Stop condemning yourself and get on with the amazing progress you are making. Keep going!!!

Peter.Parker10 · May 31, 2022

I relate 100% to your words @specofconsciousness I felt and said the exact same words multiple times in the past.

Now, the first thing is accept that pain, you didn’t show up well and didn’t live up to your commitment.

But also, you need to accept that you’re an addict and as such, punishing yourself is just unfair because this goes beyond your willpower.

I’m not saying that you should keep relapsing and being ok with it, I’m saying that you need a more balanced approach to relapse.

So instead of going hard on yourself and just feeling the guilt, be a leader for the addict that lives inside of you, study yourself, and try to reflect on what happened:

What triggered you?
How were you feeling before you engaged in PMO?
What rationalization did you say to yourself right before the moment you decided to relapse?
What can you avoid doing for next time?
What can you tell yourself instead of that “lie” that allowed you to PMO?

Grow from that, and DON’T GIVE UP.

We’re perfectly equipped to deal with this, and as long as you keep trying, there’s a chance that one day you will break free from good.

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What path to take after relapse?

specofconsciousness Fapstronaut

UCara23 New Fapstronaut

Aquiantedwithsorrow Fapstronaut

Peter.Parker10 Fapstronaut

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