What the hell is wrong with me?

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by offtolift, Dec 3, 2021.

  1. offtolift

    offtolift Fapstronaut

    Hi, this is my first post on here (on this account) [excuse my english]

    I was addicted to PMO ever since I was 11, the problem was sometimes bigger sometimes smaller, it doesnt matter, all porn is disgusting and all porn is a pipe line that leads to worse and worse stuff, you can see it in a matter of days.

    But recently it got much worse; I used to jerk off to porn twice a week max just a month ago and I usually did it once a week, it was still frustrating considering my biggest streak was 120 days, felt down and I came across someone's advice that jerking off itself isnt a problem but watching porn is.

    It made some sense to me, after all no matter how I tried I couldn't abstain from jerking off forever, Im 19 now and the habit stayed with me this whole time, so perhaps I can jerk off only when I really feel like it, to my imagination, and wire my brain back on track?

    I have to say it worked wonders at first, masturbation without porn felt 100x less shameful and I didnt feel like my brain is rotting; but unfortunately it got worse:
    at first I did it once a week, then twice, then thrice (yes, I actually did jerk off more without porn than I did with it for the past couple of years [perhaps because I didnt hold back myself anymore, perhaps it was more satisfying for my brain])

    Some time after, this sunday, I stumbled across porn again, and the moment I did I felt such a dopamine rush that I just relapsed, could have ended on that but no, since sunday, I jerked off everyday, everytime to porn, today I jerked off two time sjust like I said; even though I really didnt feel like masturbating, porn tied my hands, made me a slave, and suddenly I jerk off as much as I did in middle school.

    So here's my question: is there any way I can stop this? I didnt expect it to go so bad so fast, I thought that once I drain my balls completely I will stop, but here I am after a 7 day session, just 30 minutes ago I was still willing to watch it again.

    Any help is appreciated
    Legacy of Lost Soul likes this.
  2. Abel100%

    Abel100% Fapstronaut

    Eres joven ...seguro a veces hay q tocar fondo para poder comenzar a subir, espero que lo consigas ...y vayan aumentando los días sin Pmo... Ánimo
    offtolift likes this.
  3. offtolift

    offtolift Fapstronaut

    Thanks for the advice even though I had to use Google Translate
  4. DeeJ4y

    DeeJ4y Fapstronaut

    I found that hard mode is the only way for me to have success. If one MO then it usually is a matter of time before porn is back on the menu.
    offtolift likes this.
  5. Josehp

    Josehp Fapstronaut

    Anímate hermano, sé que puedes salir de este maldito vicio igual que yo pero debes buscar a Dios para que te ayude te recomiendo que leas este libro, está en español pero puedes usar el traductor si no entiendes
    Ami me ayuda mucho
    offtolift likes this.

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