What the hell is wrong with me?

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by offtolift, Dec 3, 2021.

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  1. offtolift

    offtolift Fapstronaut

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    Hi, this is my first post on here (on this account) [excuse my english]

    I was addicted to PMO ever since I was 11, the problem was sometimes bigger sometimes smaller, it doesnt matter, all porn is disgusting and all porn is a pipe line that leads to worse and worse stuff, you can see it in a matter of days.

    But recently it got much worse; I used to jerk off to porn twice a week max just a month ago and I usually did it once a week, it was still frustrating considering my biggest streak was 120 days, felt down and I came across someone's advice that jerking off itself isnt a problem but watching porn is.

    It made some sense to me, after all no matter how I tried I couldn't abstain from jerking off forever, Im 19 now and the habit stayed with me this whole time, so perhaps I can jerk off only when I really feel like it, to my imagination, and wire my brain back on track?

    I have to say it worked wonders at first, masturbation without porn felt 100x less shameful and I didnt feel like my brain is rotting; but unfortunately it got worse:
    at first I did it once a week, then twice, then thrice (yes, I actually did jerk off more without porn than I did with it for the past couple of years [perhaps because I didnt hold back myself anymore, perhaps it was more satisfying for my brain])

    Some time after, this sunday, I stumbled across porn again, and the moment I did I felt such a dopamine rush that I just relapsed, could have ended on that but no, since sunday, I jerked off everyday, everytime to porn, today I jerked off two time sjust like I said; even though I really didnt feel like masturbating, porn tied my hands, made me a slave, and suddenly I jerk off as much as I did in middle school.

    So here's my question: is there any way I can stop this? I didnt expect it to go so bad so fast, I thought that once I drain my balls completely I will stop, but here I am after a 7 day session, just 30 minutes ago I was still willing to watch it again.

    Any help is appreciated
     
    Legacy of Lost Soul likes this.
  2. Abel100%

    Abel100% Fapstronaut

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    Eres joven ...seguro a veces hay q tocar fondo para poder comenzar a subir, espero que lo consigas ...y vayan aumentando los días sin Pmo... Ánimo
     
    offtolift likes this.
  3. offtolift

    offtolift Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for the advice even though I had to use Google Translate
     
  4. DeeJ4y

    DeeJ4y Fapstronaut

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    I found that hard mode is the only way for me to have success. If one MO then it usually is a matter of time before porn is back on the menu.
     
    offtolift likes this.
  5. Josehp

    Josehp Fapstronaut

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    Anímate hermano, sé que puedes salir de este maldito vicio igual que yo pero debes buscar a Dios para que te ayude te recomiendo que leas este libro, está en español pero puedes usar el traductor si no entiendes
    Ami me ayuda mucho
     
    offtolift likes this.

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