Having completed the 90 day reset hard mode (had sex twice tho), I was and am pretty proud of what I achieved. I felt like I had an insane amount of energy, as well as being able to notice the strong sexual urges and allow them to be there without trying to get rid of or release them. It was a very significant object of mindfulness. On day 91 I masturbated (no porn) and it felt good, no shame. Two weeks on I have masturbated with and without porn a few times, sometimes multiple times in a day. This alongside binging youtube and online entertainment I felt the previous rhythms and reasons I had to maintain habits like working out and meditation slipping. I know have started to grasp back into the place I once was. The question I have now is whether to refrain from masturbating and watching porn. As I said I had soo much energy but it was a difficult process and sometimes it would leave me in bed fantasizing about sex or women for an hour or two. I feel a lot more relaxed now I have begun to masturbate again, life is easier. I wonder if it's about the framing of masturbation mentally and the associated porn use which causes compulsive behavior and a warped image of sexuality and women. There is a point to be made about exploring your own sexuality and releasing it. Also having come out a toxic and abusive relationship I want to take it slowly with women. I am trying some dating apps and maybe in situations for a casual sexual relationship/one-night stand, however, this is unknown and how soon it would be. The question for me is whether I should explore sexuality on my own or abstain and focus on other things, thanks for reading.