Hi. I usually don't post stuff here. But here I go. I am an introvert, at least for the past few years of my life. I have very few good friends. I used to be really good at most of the things in life few years ago, had a lot of friends, used to be expressive, used to get good grades and shit. But ever since PMO came in, the whole situation seems to have turned. I don't want to complain about PMO here but I wish to talk about the life related part. It feels the part of me which used to work hard is dead and all what remains is the current me, loner and a to-be looser if things go on this way. No matter how I make my mindset, like I will work hard and do things, never end up happening. And when things don't go the way I think, I feel depressed and commit die feelings kick in, once it reaches a certain level. Is it ever possible to bring back that motivation that I once had towards life? Will it be ever possible to make myself as expressive as I used to be? I just feel stuck, can't seem to find a way out. The only that is keeping me alive are just a few close people who know me. But how long will they stay if things go this way? I feel as if I have built a false image of myself, people have expectations, the current me is unable to meet them and it just is crushing me. Is it even worth it? Should I just open up and say that don't expect anything from me and tell that I can't do anything. OR how do I even make that mindset of productively doing things? I can't even type what I want to say.