what to do when your a sensitive person in a world where people don't care?

You need to care about yourself and how you see yourself before you care about others.

You have to get to a point where you love yourself so much that outside events can no longer hurt you

You need to understand one thing.
It's not outside events that hurt. External events awaken wounds that are already present inside you.

Sensitivity is a strength. But only if that sensitivity is centered on yourself and not on pleasing people.

It's not that people don't care, it's only your perception of reality ^^

 

You must understand that the future will not bring you happiness. No matter what you achieve (in terms of results), it won't change the relationship you have with yourself if you don't look at yourself honestly.

It's not honest to care too much about others. What is honest is to put your own interests before those of others.
Because you can't change other people's lives, it's up to them.
Because it is your life and if you spend your life being nice and caring for others, you will end up losing yourself, being frustrated at not getting love and being unhappy.

You project what you think of yourself to the world so it comes down to a decision:

The decision to start changing the relationship you have with yourself.
The decision to put your own interests before those of others.

If you are too nice and care too much, don't dare to displease etc, maybe it's because you think you need to be loved and add something to who you are in order to be complete as a person.

Meditation can help you
Also approaching women and expressing your vulnerability. Your brain will realize that you can't please everyone. So you might as well express yourself fully for who you are and not the image you want to project.
Going out of your comfort zone, getting rejected, learning, questionning yourself.
Eating healthy, working out


It is a long process. You're doing it for you. Not to get recognition.
Because you're breathing. And no matter what you get, you're there, you're there in your body for the rest of your life. That's enough. You're enough. You don't need the approval of other people.

The relationship you have with yourself is all that matters.

 

This is interesting. have you taken a personality test? One personality type in particular, the INFJ is highly sensitive to everything around them. At the extreme an INFJ can become sad without knowing why when a sad person walks by. They absorb everything around them and it can be exhausting.

My psychologist told me that I might be a highly sensitive person when I told her I like the night more than day because then I cant feel all the stress from the people around me.

Do you always feel like it is all or nothing? You either form deep connections or you walk away, and you always go deep in conversation. You hate small talk. In that way you are usually an introvert but if you meet an interesting person you can open up and talk for hours.

I dont know you but from what I just read it seems like you at least have some traits of an INFJ. There are other intuitive personality types as well. Not that it matters but it can help you understand yourself better.

With this girl I am sure you saw some qualities in her that she probably wasn't even aware of herself. I am just assuming at this point but you often see the good in everyone. You feel deeply connected to people quite easily. Some call INFJs seers. They use a combination of thinking and feeling to arrive at conclusions.

The curse also is that they fear commitment. Your intuition makes you "see" several years into the future when you meet a potential partner. Often you can see how it is going to end. You can also be willing to compromise on things that you shouldn't. Because you are a true idealist you can accept someones dark sides to a pretty high degree because you know them on a deeper level. Maybe more than they know even themselves.

 

Hey friend. I can relate exactly with what you are conveying and I feel likewise as well often. Especially when I see people insulting others or objectifying women or treating them like crap...I read news about violence, hatred, racism, pollution, the damage to nature that we are causing...and I just feel depressed and shut down.

It can be difficult when you realize that people may not connect with that level of sensitivity you are coming from.

But you've to keep yourself from falling into the delusion of irrationally and concluding that a whole place or people are insensitive. It is just untrue. Deep within, every human being craves for reliability, sensitivity, acceptance and unconditional love. The kind of people who treat others like crap are mostly people who are really suffering within themselves. They are not at peace with their selves although they'd go on and put a façade of happiness.

Try to approach people and situation with a non-judgmental attitude. Because if you approach people, thinking they are going to be thrash, you cloud your good sense and you end up labelling people before you truly understand them. Plus, a non-judgemental, steady unbiased attitude is good for our well-being as well. You are never going to do anything positive by being depressed about the state of affairs, correct? Maybe you can usher yourself to be a beacon of hope and light so that people can trust you and commune with you in a deep level.

Regarding relationship, if you expect to be cared in return for the care you give, it is going to be a disaster, man. Atleast from my experience, because I've gone through it and repeatedly failed. What I understood is that you care, simply because you care. Expect nothing in return. You have your standards and you adhere to it even if your partner challenges you. As a man, you must be able to stand steady and stable by yourself. That does not mean you should keep quiet and tolerate your partner. When you find certain attitude of her to be wrong, question it and be willing to put across your point firmly with absolute clarity. Call out a spade a spade. And listen to her perspective while you share yours. And if you are convinced that your values differ and you cannot put up with such attitudes, part your ways respectfully.

You will get hurt again, man. Its part of life. And most of the hurt comes when you expect the level of your sensitivity from others. Don't do that. Let others be. And you be yourself. Find people who can resonate with your depth, that'd be worthwhile. Dare to walk away from scenarios that doesn't agree with your values. You may be alone, but you'll live with a clean conscience. And a clean conscience is priceless.

People like you bring a smile to my face. To treat other's the way you like to be treated is a golden rule which few adhere to. But the world will never run out of people like you as well. And that's the beauty of it.

 

Okay, looked into it I didnt see too many differences between ENFP and INFJ actually. The main difference seems to be that you are more of an extrovert and dont seek answers trough your intuition. ENFPs are idealists. Personality tests isnt very accurate anyways. I can score as an INFP or ISFJ sometimes but after a lot of research the INFJ-T type suits me best.

Actually, ENFPs and INFJs often end up as good friends or gf/bf because they have a lot of similar traits but also some contrasting traits which are interesting.

INFJs are great listeners. They actually prefer listening and solve other peoples problems. ENFPs likes to talk and be listened to. They are open books so to speak. INFJs like to just listen. They dont necessarily like all the blah blah blah but they are good at taking the conversation to a deeper level.

Both INFJs and ENFPs appreciate deep emotional connections. INFJs can befriend almost anyone. Actually, in my life I have never been fully rejected by a girl. At least not by anyone that matters to me. When it comes to friends I have to be selective because so many want to befriend me. I dont have energy for all of them. A hand full of really good friends is all I need.

ENFPs also like social harmony. They are extroverted but they like to show their feelings. They also like to show that they care. That makes INFJs more comfortable around them. INFJs are more observers rather than expressing emotions right away. They can often look somewhat cold on the outside but that is because they analyze everything. Even the slightest facial expression is information for an INFJ.

Their intuition is uncanny. They get it right most of the time and ENFPs love that.

Both personality types have a pretty wild imagination. They are idealists and can often talk for hours about anything. If something interests an INFJ they are not introverted at all. They are only introverted around people that dont understand them. Introverted is maybe not the right word. INFJs can keep a conversation with almost everyone even if the topic is boring. It drains their energy though and they take more time than most to recharge. Sometimes they need a week alone to read, exercise or write.

Both personalities are good at imagining the world in the future and like to play with ideas.

ENFPS and INFJs basically have the same cognitive functions but they express them in opposite ways. Where and INFJ would express themselves in an introvert manner like introverted feeling, an ENFP would express extroverted feeling. INFJ use introverted intuition while ENFP use extroverted intuition.

ENFPs are often disorganized while INFJs like to organize and make plans. ENFPS are often lighthearted and can help and INFJ to not take things so seriously. INFJs are not easily offended. They are self confident so thats why ENFPs are good at pulling an INFJs out of their bubble.

ENFPs and INFJs are both feeling types and can easily tune in to other peoples shifting moods. If there is a problem, it is usually easily resolved.

Both ENFPs and INFJs are social chameleons. They can easily adapt to any social dynamic. Sometimes an ENFP can actually close down in social settings while an INFJ are even better to adapt. ENFPs are often looked at as extroverted but they themselves often think of it as only a facade, and it is.

ENFPs have a deeper inner life than most people realize. On the other hand, INFJs are the most extroverted of the introverts.

To conclude: Both types have an easy way of understanding each others needs. When an INFJ needs a few days to recharge it is met with understanding. Same goes the other way. If an ENFP have a bad day, an INFJ will try to help as best they can.

It is a very interesting mix. I have dated some ENFP girls and they are for sure some of the easiest persons to deal with.

 

The answer is simple, although it took me many years to figure it out. You learn to choose.
First you need to get to know a lot of people and at the right places for what you seek (eg if you go looking for a good wife or a serious relationship in bars and clubs, you're gonna have a very hard time). If you don't have many options you cannot really choose. If you cannot choose, you will always think that there's something wrong with you cause you didn't find a good match (friend or gf)
When you take the actions needed and create your options, you can choose who you let come closer to you and who you don't. Remember to always trust your gut feeling about that.
In the end its as simple as that. If you don't like it, don't listen to number 3 podcast called "Call her Daddy". Go find something you like instead.

 

This is a classic perspective that is likely shared by many, but which is nonetheless both self-centered and short-sighted. If one truly imbibes this philosophy, it may seem better to cast stones at others, to knock them off their mountains in order to be at the highest point oneself--when, in fact, by the very act of casting those stones, one lowers the height of one's own mountain. To use another, very real, example: when one is drowning, and someone comes to save him, he will immediately grab his would-be savior, push him down into the water in order to elevate himself and get some air to breathe, often drowning his rescuer after which he drowns as well, no longer having someone to help him.

The truth is that the best way to help oneself is by helping others. If others are helped, they will have more ability to help us in return--and even if they don't do this, personally, others will come to our help as they see our need. Unselfishness is the path to ultimate happiness. No one is an island; no one lives alone. We are all together in this world, and neglecting the needs of others is a sure way to increase our own troubles.

It is not impossible to find happiness. The future can be very bright and promising. But we must look away from ourselves, from our problems, and cherish more kindness, more generosity toward others, more love and peace. I find that by looking to Christ, and seeing how much He loves me, knowing all of the ways in which He has blessed me and protected me throughout my life, it gives me a spirit of concern for the welfare of others. As I help others, I am most blessed.

 

It's not self centered or selfish at all. It's juste taking care of yourself and being kind to yourself before being kind to others.
The thing is you can't help others but you're not at peace with who you are.
If you do that you don't help others to help others. You help others to get their approval and be loved and accepted by society. Because you don't accept yourself in the first place so you're looking for the andswer outside (more money, more sex, more validation.....)
Which is anything but honest because all tour actions are based in getting something instead of giving and sharing compassion. Because everything you do is just a way to fill the emptiness you feel inside

I'm not talking about it because I read this on a forum or I Saw a youtube video.
I'm saying this because I hated myself so everything I described was me and how I lived all this. And believe me helping people didn't help because no matter I did for them, I still wasn't at peace with who I was.
Until I started taking care of myself (meditation, working out, approaching women on the street...)

Now I'm coaching men to overcome their fear of approaching women they like and the first question I ask them is "doesn't matter if you don't know what to say or if this girl rejects you and doesn't accept you, the only thing that counts is do you love yourself?"

You can't share compassion if you don't are compassionnate with yourself first. If you don't feel at peace inside. Otherwise it's a lie
We project what we think of ourselves to the world everytime we're interacting with someone. Even without being aware of it. It comes from within

Plus everyone has his own life and we have to respect that. It doesn't mean not helping people but if everything we do is a way to get approved by society and people I don't see the point here. Yes bringing love to someone can makes us happy but only if we love yourself first. Take a depressed person and tell him to help as many people as possible. I'm not sure je will love himself After that. He will be even more unhappy. Because he didn't heal himself in the first place
He just projected what he though of himself at the moment which was : self hate

 

People do care it's just that not everyone cares. We might tend to focus on the negative events more than the positive.

I'm also a 'sensitive' man and I hate it. But many women told me they loved it. They love men who care about their feelings.

Personally it doesn't feel 'manly' to me to be sensitive. But that's just something I made up.
It's got nothing to do with who I am, what I'm capable of how I behave etc.

And don't forget; I think many men are sensitive, it's just that most of them are too afraid to show it. I can't believe how many men try to act 'alpha' because that's how TV shows and movies make us think that's how we're 'supposed to be'.

 

He who builds on the people, builds on the mud...nah honestly you are right, if all you do is take care of yourself you will end up one sad lonely fellow(hated by everyone who truly know you); just read about those guy going on expedition cutting themselves from humanity you will see that we are social for a reason beside a guy alone will go insane in no time at all.

 

actually scratch that ppl are treacherous sheep help them if you can be never put them before your interest, i don't know what i was thinking.