What to do with the pics?

Lose it. Soon. You can't have it.
That simple to say. Understood, though: Not easy to do.
How would you feel once it's done? Better. Freer.
And, that's why it's the only way.

@John McClean posted about this recently... Maybe he'd be able to offer some specific thoughts in your situation, but this post is also extremely good. Read up a few in the thread to see how it came up.
https://www.nofap.com/forum/?threads/136128/page-7#post-1155340

 

Hello, Reverent. These two questions you are asking ... are these your literal situation? Or are you just supposing?

I think you would generate a good number of replies from various members (and I would be happy to add my two cents) if you described your situation in a bit more detail. Is your wife of almost 20 years a former model and are her pictures a potential trigger for you? Is she sending you spicy images and are you concerned about the effect the pictures will have on your sobriety?
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What if you're an alcohol addict and your wife was a celebrity with her own whiskey brand? And you have collection of those bottles? Should you keep them in a house? Probably not. Maybe it's fine, when you have fully recovered and have developed strong will power and discipline. But certainly not while in recovery. Same goes for triggering pictures in my opinion. If one is fully recovered from this addiction they might frame them, put on a wall and not think much about it. But for addicts I would say it's better to not have them in the house at all.

Personally, I don't think I would destroy this type of collection because of it's sentimental value. It doesn't just have sexual, perverted value. Like you said, it's your wife after all. So there is more value than her just being hot. But I would not keep them in a house either. Maybe I would put them in a storage facility or keep them in a locked chest without the key. Or something like that. But that's just me.

Think of this though - if she's still just as hot then why would you need pictures when you have a real thing? And if it's long time passed since pictures were taken and she is not as hot anymore, well then, you are not really getting turned on by the same woman. It might as well be any hot model other than your current wife.

As far as sexting, it is porn. It's still just fake pixels on a screen.

 

I guess I would keep them. What I've noticed is that porn on my computer, which I've seen many times before, doesn't hold that much of an attraction. The search for something new and "better" is part of the addiction. It's a snipe hunt caused by the mind's trickery.

IMO, you can just say goodbye to the images and leave them where they are.

 

I think that your wife should take all of her photos and put them in safekeeping.

 

Why use her pics when the real thing is in your bed?

 

From a christian perspective i think not.. however your wife showing off isn't ok according to the bible. From a nonbeliever's perspective yes, it is porn

 

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https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.p...ithout-porn-and-tv.136128/page-8#post-1175913
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Thanks for allowing me to call you into the mix, @John McClean.

@Reverent your willingness to hear some perspectives is refreshing. Glad you have a plan and glad you've been able to make it into triple digits. Clearly you are doing a lot of things very right. I am sure your wife will respect your decisions. Your words are written out of respect for your wife and that's something that will certainly help you progress and have more respect from her, as well

 

Interesting philosophical question... that I don't have an answer to. However, as that's never stopped me before, here come my two pennies' worth.

At one extreme end of the scale, it's clear that some images are porn, no way around it. I mean, if you have a picture of... no, better stop there, methinks. At the opposite end, it's equally clear, some are not - how could anyone turn the picture of a bike shed or a lamb chop into porn (hope I didn't just trigger some weirdo out there - "mmm, I could so do naughty things to that lamb chop in a bike shed..."!). And as is often the case, there's a lot of grey area in between. Take a look (or perhaps not!) at Goya's 'Nude Maya' - a glorious painting by one of the old masters? Sure. Potential PM fodder? Sure. Similarly, one of my clients is a lingerie manufacturer. During a strategy meeting, I can look at their catalogue almost entirely with a clinical business eye (almost - I'm not dead yet, after all!); back in the privacy of my home office, I could quite easily put the same material to a whole different use. The point being, with the exception of the most obvious sort of porn, I don't think it's necessarily the image itself which defines it as pornographic or not, it's the way you look at it and what you do with it. To some extent at least, the same probably goes for your pictures of your wife?

So I guess you should ask yourself what your intentions are and why you are keeping the pictures?

If I had such pictures (of my wife, not yours, just to be clear!), would I trust myself never to use them 'pornographically'? No, I don't think I could promise that, with any degree of confidence.

How would I feel if I did use them thus? I expect much better - or rather, less bad - than doing the same with pictures of some other woman. In fact, knowing how my mind is capable of wondrous things when it wants something, I could probably even construct some flimsy but entirely convincing (!) argument whereby masturbating (and I'm aware you didn't actually say so much, so forgive me for putting words into your mouth) to images of my wife was somehow a good thing, in some weird parallel universe. Whilst at the same time fully realising that objectifying my beloved life companion, best friend, and the mother of my children, in such a way is wrong on so many levels. Possibly this is an aspect of the whole whore/madonna complex...

Does the fact that your wife is (presumably?) aware of you possessing such pictures, and is even supplying you with more of the same, change things? Actually, I think it does, somehow. Had you obtained them covertly without her knowledge, I'd say that would be some sort of violation of her privacy (not quite the right word, but can't think of a better one) and as such inherently wrong. But seeing as she's in on this, so to speak, I can't quite put my finger on the reasons why, but I do think it alters the dynamic somewhat. I'm not saying by doing so she has necessarily given you full consent to use the images in any way you want, but if she were to find out that you're using them as porn, effectively, I don't think she would be entirely surprised, and probably nowhere near as upset at least as if she had found you using some random internet porn.

Another thing which just occurred to me is, whatever you conclude in the end is the right thing to do with the pictures of your wife, would that change if you were (heaven forbid) to separate one day? The way I see it, at that point the pictures would instantly go from 'probably okay' to 'definitely not okay'. The context would have changed completely, and therefore so would the way you see those pictures. And would you at that time get rid of the pictures? Hard to say, but perhaps not?

I don't think I've answered your question in the slightest, probably just confused things (including myself) even further. But if it were me, on balance I'd probably keep the pictures, if only so you can look at them one day when you're both old and wrinkly! And I'd also keep them safely locked up, at least while you're going through your reboot, lest they lead you into temptation...

Did I say two pennies' worth? Make that more like one.

 

I know I'm not the person to advice on this but talk to her and if you can't do that then just take those pictures, put it in pendrive and give it to somebody, probably your wife to keep it away from you. Delete it from your pc then. And about sexting....just talk to her. No idea there sorry.

 

To answer your first question... My SO got rid of them.
I wanted to keep them, it was my life.
We can't have them where he has access.

And old pics we took together /or of me, that were triggers or lead to previous p or m use, I'm in possession now of and he has no access.

He does consider old photos, triggers, that were spicy..
So nothing before his last relapse is allowed on his phone.
He relapses again, he wipes his phone, even of my pictures which could lead to Chaser or be tempted to be in "bad hands" if he couldn't stay straight and narrow.
These are his rules, not mine.

 

Anytime

 

Idk.
We just had another Dday on Thursday and we are two years and two months into reboot.

Are you fine with it?

Everyone has a different story.