1. Welcome to NoFap! We have disabled new forum accounts from being registered for the time being. In the meantime, you can join our weekly accountability groups.
    Dismiss Notice

What to expect?

Discussion in 'Partner Support' started by Healingwings, May 16, 2018.

  1. Healingwings

    Healingwings Fapstronaut

    15
    5
    3
    Hi.

    Long story cut short:

    He chose to install truple+applock on his phone.

    Is that ...or me running away to my mum's house. He didn't want divorce.

    Now that he has accountability app on his phone, he would from time to time tell me that he is angry whenever he uses his phone.

    He knew I'm watching him. (It has to be me as he doesn't want another person involve in this.)

    Using his phone --with the app on -- reminds him that his wife doesn't trust him.

    He feels as if I'm mothering him. "Castrated" is a also a word he used to describe his feeling.

    How do I deal with this? What should I expect? Will he go through withdrawal symptoms?

    Thanks all.
     
  2. Bucklord

    Bucklord Fapstronaut

    78
    78
    18
    I lived with a girl for three years, and she somewhat went through a phase like this.
    Where she would tell me all the things that I can't do, and be pretty controlling about it.

    Looking back, all those things she told me I don't do now like going into the bathroom with my phone or xyz.
    - I just met her with a ton of resistance, and resentment because I had my girlfriend now telling me I CAN'T do something. I think anyone is going to resist that and build up some resentment.. It feels like you're taking his balls away.

    Which he probably deserves... But I would keep using this system for awhile, at least for the first few weeks of the reboot. He will be frustrated, but you can gradually show him your trust after those few weeks are over by having a real sit down talk about where you're at.
    There aren't significant withdrawal systems except for a sharp decrease in sexual appetite after the third week or so.. Lasts about a week, will generally be down in the dumps. After that its high flying and should be very positive.

    Good luck, Hope this helps some.
     
  3. TryingHard2Change

    TryingHard2Change Distinguished Fapstronaut

    I understand this feeling -- it's embarrasing/shameful to bring someone else into his reality of being a porn addict / struggling with PM'ing. BUT, if he can get over that shame/that fear and find a trusted friend or pastor/counselor, it will greatly help his recovery. I almost feel like NEVER opening up about it with anyone (besides the SO) is a recipe for failure.

    But I can guarentee you that if and when he does open up about it to someone else, it'll actually be very freeing and will help to break some of the chains that he feels holding him back.
     

Share This Page