What to say to a girl who cancels your date ?

Discussion in 'Dating during a Reboot' started by Spirituss, Aug 30, 2021.

  1. Spirituss

    Spirituss Fapstronaut

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    I would like to share with you a conversation I had with a woman I approached on the street last week. We talked for 2 minutes when we met. I took her number and quickly asked her for a drink.
    We had a date planned for last night.

    Yesterday: I get a message from her saying that she cancels the date.

    Here is the conversation (unedited, all authentic). I'm sharing this because it might help a lot of guys to see girls again, to persist even if that girl sends you a stop sign or negative signals.

    Me - Is 8:30 pm tonight okay for you?

    Her - I'm sorry I didn't answer you earlier. I can't, I'm sorry

    Me - It's a shame :/
    Is there any particular reason you're cancelling?*

    Her - I'll be honest with you, I'm just coming out of a breakup, I know that seeing each other doesn't mean anything but right now I'm really not in the mood for it.
    It has nothing to do with you. At first I thought it would be cool (I don't doubt it)
    But I don't feel like I can do it.

    Me -
    I do not hide you that I am disappointed ^^
    But I understand, it's not easy for you and I hope you will get better soon.
    It will remain a beautiful encounter. I liked your naturalness and your authenticity.
    (it's a rare quality)

    I wish you the best for the future!

    Her - You are really nice

    I'm so sorry. I might regret it but I'll only blame myself ahah.
    It's just not the right time. It's too early for me.

    take care of yourself too!


    Her -
    You'll think it's weird but we only have one life. If you're still up for it,we can meet tonight

    Her - You'll think I'm crazy ahah


    Me - Ahah

    Of course I'm still up for it!

    Her - Cool, We can meet (place) at 20:30!

    Me - Perfect!

    All this to say that when you talk to a girl, it's important to never give up. Put yourself in her shoes, show empathy and show her that you want to see her.
    Assuming your vulnerability, your intention to connect with her makes you very masculine and attractive.

    On the contrary, hiding what you feel causes a certain duality with women. Too much ego.

    When she puts a stop to you like that, the best advice I can give you is to tell her what you liked about her, to let her know that she has her reasons for canceling or refusing the date and that you accept it.
    You wish her the best
    With this mindset I have had many women contact me after months. Telling me that they liked my maturity and that they wanted to see me again.

    Even if it ends this way. You leave with dignity and feeling good about yourself. You'll have no regrets
     
  2. Spirituss

    Spirituss Fapstronaut

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    Jealous :)
     
  3. ANewFocus

    ANewFocus Fapstronaut

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    Disregard that guy. He may be right, but he may be wrong. There’s a world of possibilities out there. Thank you for giving hope to others.
     
  4. PeaceOnEarth108

    PeaceOnEarth108 Fapstronaut

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    Good for you, well done :)
    This sounds strange. Ofc you shouldn't molest her
     
  5. Spirituss

    Spirituss Fapstronaut

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    I'm 23 and i've dated more than 100 girls in 3 years. I am not pretentious. On the contrary, this process has made me more human, unlike some people. But I know what I am talking about.

    I learned by going out and approaching thousands of women in 3 years. And believe me, I've had way more experiences at 23 than you ever will ahah.
    Your "nice guy" thing is typically what you can read in books.
    But when you go out and talk to women, you realize that they like honesty, intention, kindness. But you're way too mad to admit it lol.

    I really wish you to free yourself from this rage. you are hurting yourself.
    .
     
  6. Billybrasco

    Billybrasco Fapstronaut

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    Right on bro. Don’t listen to armchair alphas who never leave their house, much less talk to a girl.

    You handled it perfect.
     
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  7. DiegoSR

    DiegoSR Fapstronaut

    It's ok to persist, but in these occasions it's easy for you to turn into a ****

    This guy here is right. From the conversation you had with her, she doesn't seem attracted. This do not exclude that maybe, after some conversations, she may become attracted. Try how many times you want, persist, never give up. But don't loose your mind for a girl you met on a street :)
     
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  8. modern milarepa

    modern milarepa Fapstronaut

    Bro you are hard. But it could be true. The two last girls I dated one broke up with her boyfriend like a week before we hooked up, she was a bit sad because he dumped her but when we met all that was gone.

    The one I'm seeing also recently broke up with her boyfriend.

    There is a saying if a girl likes you, she will make time for you no matter what or how she feels.
     
    Last edited: Aug 30, 2021
  9. modern milarepa

    modern milarepa Fapstronaut

    I'm not sure about the story. So at the end she agreed to meet up and you kissed?

    Well, kissing means nothing you can kiss a girl once and she will not do it ever again.

    How all the situation continued?
    Are you still seeing her?
     
  10. modern milarepa

    modern milarepa Fapstronaut

    also the thread question
    "what to say when a girl cancels your date?"
    She didn't just canceled, she told you she didn't want to date you or anyone else. I would have certainly just leave it there.

    But it's not like you begged, it was a smooth answer you gave nonetheless.
     
  11. It was a shit test and you passed.
    For more about shit tests.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 1, 2021
  12. Spirituss

    Spirituss Fapstronaut

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    I will explain to you simply why this idea is completely wrong. And you'll quickly understand how common sense it is.

    1. This woman, I approached her in the street. Just by that, she already understands that my intentions are not to make friends. Especially since I told her "hey, I like you". It couldn't be clearer.

    2. Persistence is a quality. I really wanted to connect with this woman. She cancels the date for no reason, do you really think I'm going to stand around and give up.If at the first obstacle you give up, what image do you have of yourself? It's up to you to answer.
    Every relationship I've ever had, I've had to persist. If you expect women to hand you everything on a silver platter, you'll be waiting a long time. At some point she's going to put a stop to you. That's when it's important to put your ego aside. The frustrated guy will give up. The guy who really wants to see this woman again will persist. But in a benevolent way. Because there's a difference between persistence and forcing things. Persistence is showing your intention but putting empathy in. That's a quality.

    3. There is this belief that messages are important and that you have to sexualize your message conversation to make it "attractive". Guys who say this have never practiced, never approached women and they talk about attraction. I'm not here to judge. Just to provide value so I'll state my opinion here.
    The only purpose of messages is to see that girl again, not to seduce her. You can't seduce by messaging. You can at best make jokes if you are creative but that's it.
    The truth is that by trying to make the girl attracted instead of keeping it simple, you are more likely to scare her away than to see her again.

    I will see her again in 2 days.
    I'm used to approaching women, this thing about guys saying you're nice so you're a nice guy, it always makes me laugh. it just shows a great lack of self-esteem.
    It must be tiring to wear a mask and try to be someone else, right?
    I'll tell you the truth. On my date yesterday, the first thing I said to this girl was "I know we didn't talk much, but I loved the way you were, your authenticity, I really wanted to see you again. I'm glad you came. You'll see, it will be incredible."

    You can be very nice, tell a girl that you like who she is, that you think she's really pretty, and she thinks the same about you in return.
    Dating is mostly about sub communication. All the guys who don't practice read messages or hear words and they are convinced that this guy is just a nice guy or is going to become friends with this woman.

    Saying a compliment to a woman is the best way to seduce her. And to feel good about yourself, to really express yourself and how you feel. It's a form of purity. You don't do it to fill a frustration or a compulsive desire. You tell her because you want to connect with her deeply in a very human, caring and intentional way.
    Dating is about not needing women but wanting to connect deeply with them. It starts with yourself. When I see all the frustrated guys acting like they don't care, with "let the women come to you" speeches, I just think they need a good dose of therapy.

    The more you approach women, the more you understand relationships and how real attraction works, not the one you'll find in books or youtube videos.
    Even after 3 years I still question myself. But there are still important principles that remain the same.
    These principles are common sense. A lot of guys don't have common sense. I find it sad. and deep down I hope that one day they will realize what they are missing something. Because I'll tell you : You learn a lot by facing rejection.
     
  13. Spirituss

    Spirituss Fapstronaut

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    No, she just had doubts, she told me yesterday. She had doubts because she's coming out of a relationship and she needs time to herself. To forget and find herself again. As simple as that, no need to intellectualize this shit test thing, it doesn't make sense.
     
  14. modern milarepa

    modern milarepa Fapstronaut

    it seems she just wasn't ready to date yet, you made her change her mind. You really smooth talked her. I haven't been in that situation. But if I ever be, I could try to do what you did. It was quite smooth.

    Also if a girl is not into you, she will simply not reply, she wouldn't go to that length of making up a story to a complete stranger.

    Also the saying goes: when a girl says no, it actually means yes. They are a mistery in deed.

    Good luck with the girl
    Thanks for the thread. Good advice
     
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  15. Spirituss

    Spirituss Fapstronaut

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    The real loser is the one who does not take the risk of expressing what he feels, who does not overcome his fears.
    Courage is telling the truth, even when all seems lost.
    This is what I wanted to do in this conversation with this woman.
    I said to myself: everything seems lost, I'm going to give it my all so I don't have any regrets.
    It worked.
    This is not the first time I have sent this kind of message, several women have contacted me after months or even years after receiving this kind of message.
    It just shows self control and maturity which is extremely attractive. It requires you to put your ego aside and really express yourself, so you don't regret anything, which most guys can't do.
    We live in a world full of misplaced pride.

    I wanted to post this to help guys, because I want to make this world better. There are too many guys who hate themselves so much that they waste their time insulting random people on the internet.
    I've been rejected thousands of times in my life. Do you really think I'm going to get hurt? Rejection and insults make me laugh now.

    Don't waste your time and get up from your couch. Personally, this is what I do every day
     
  16. Billybrasco

    Billybrasco Fapstronaut

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    I find it hilarious that the guys hell bent on having a woman massively attracted to them forever are the same ones who never bother to approach nor talk to women at all. It's like they are sitting in their basement saying "well if she's not attracted to me at all, I'm a **** for even trying."


    Dudes, how the F is she ever going to be attracted to you if you're sitting in your basement wasting your time reading about pick-up, "high value" or any such crap. You want a sure thing? Buy bonds. The rest of life is a risk. Take it or remain where you are.
     
  17. Actually, this is the Dating During Reboot section of the forum.

    Technically the only thing that is supposed to go here is "dating bullshit" :emoji_smile:
     
  18. KKS123

    KKS123 Fapstronaut

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    As a woman I agree with what you're saying. A girl that's really into you wouldn't act like this
     
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  19. Spirituss

    Spirituss Fapstronaut

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    I talked to her for 2 minutes in the street, fortunately at this stage she is not enormously into me. it would scare me otherwise ahah. I kissed her on the first date and she told me that she had a great time and that she was looking forward to seeing me again. But go ahead, I see you enjoy intellectualizing everything :)
    For the record I'm seeing her again tonight. Texting interest experts, you can continue to analyze if you want. I'm watching you while eating popcorn. by taking action, while you intellectualize everything you see on your couch.

    I will continue to work on myself, live my best life and bring value to people, no matter what.
    I don't care about people who lie to themselves and are full of pride, what I care about is helping guys who really want to change their situation and don't lie to themselves. I don't care about the rest.
    Even if I hadn't kissed her, it wouldn't have mattered. I can show strong intention while remaining caring and clear about my intentions with women. I can approach anyone at any time. I bring love and I know where I am going. negative criticism doesn't do anything to me. Just stop. You're hurting yourself.
     
    Last edited: Aug 31, 2021
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  20. Spirituss

    Spirituss Fapstronaut

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    Are you james bond ?
     
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