What women mean to you?

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by Saurav04, May 11, 2020.

  1. Saurav04

    Saurav04 Fapstronaut

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    After sticking to nofap. This thing keep coming in my mind. Why we most of the males fall in love for the girls who are like 9 and 10 (in terms of attractiveness not age). I understand from evolutionary background men chose women who looks attractive, can bear child etc. But what I was thinking is not all 9 or 10 girls are good (behavior and as a person). We call humans smartest being on this planet. Still why we have this animalistic behavior of getting attracted to physical beauty. Does the sense of visual perception is stronger than our mental abilities, I don't think I am the only dumb guy here.
    I started asking most of my friends do they watch porn the answer is always yes. Why we see the pixels made of red, green and blue lights with some sound and think it's real. Even if no actual humans are involved if it's hentai or animated porn it makes us feel good.
    Any women who looks good and have camera can start adult live cam and can earn because we guys want to watch anything nude and related to sex. Are we humans that stupid, I am not calling anyone of you stupid. It applies to all of us including me also. I don't know in which direction this internet thing is heading to, Tinder is full of half naked girls, internet is full of porn and while you are on normal sites there are advertisement which are porn triggers or can redirect you to porn sites. If someone don't know anything about sex and you may leave him or her with internet, they will eventually find porn.
    I still like having relation with just one woman but things like having multiple affairs etc is like new normal and in guys community we appreciate this behavior why? People fight for so many different things and don't focus on things which are really important. I still think until I don't completely get rid of my bad habits till then I shouldn't advice someone. I don't know why the fuck these thoughts come in my mind when I stop PMO. Sometimes I fell this PMO is like a toy given to us like we are dogs. If we get this toy we keep playing with it and forget all the important things in world. Things like alcohol and drugs also do the same thing.
     
    Last edited: May 19, 2020
  2. Free your mind

    Free your mind Fapstronaut

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    Thats a good phylosophical question.
    Everything I write here is my opinion.
    First of all, out of all other animals, rational thinking developed the most in humans.
    Falling in love is partly rational, but highly sexual and emotional thing.
    Emotions and especially sexual part is driven by hormones and unconscious mind (lets call it instincts). These instincts are very much the same as in animal world. That developed during evolution with the aim of succesful reproduction, natural selection and so on and it is hard to override just by rational mind (which we define as "smart" or "dumb").

    Monogamy in mammals (with a few exceptions) is not natural, thats why we tend to look at other attractive females, not just one (look at the Coolidge effect). It developed during late stages of human developement (civilization), and it's driven my rational mind. Thats why many affair happens. Men are very visual because in prehistoric era, they could take care for them selfs, just needed the healthiest female to pass the genetic material, which is possible by quickly observing the female visually. Thats where porn comes in the game.

    Females couldn't take care for them self, especially during pregnancy and while taking care of infants, thats why they look for other characteristics in men, not the beauty - strength, power, security... Thats why they are nowaday attracted to guys on good positions, with power, wealth, social status, muscles, testosterone... Thats why you can see great girls (not just appeareance) with jerks. In many cases, jerks have what women want - power, self confidence, money...
     
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  3. Saurav04

    Saurav04 Fapstronaut

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    Man that was good I really like your opinion. Yes I know the coolidge effect from the famous ted video. For animals it's easier to keep doing reproduction. For humans it's more difficult to let things driven by instincts. Let's say a guy with all good qualities attract a pretty lady but after marriage he found basically she is ***** and cheating with him. I won't go much into feminism, people say it's more patriarchal society but I think it's not absolutely true. Coming back to the story if the guy divorce her and can't prove she is cheating in the court. There will be a big toll on the guy financially and he might have to give up the rights of his children. I am not saying guys are always wrong or girls are. But what I wanted to say is letting the mind driven by instincts and animalistic behavior is very deteriorating.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: May 13, 2020
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  4. Free your mind

    Free your mind Fapstronaut

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    Maybe the majority of the world still is patriarchal (I'm talking about rural China, India, Africa, middle east etc.), but the west, or what we would call "developed" countries, are not patriarchal for sure. Maybe they were in the past, but female emancipation chnged it all. Unfortunately, they rule us and it's not good for men.


    Somethings changed from "women need men" to "men need women". I don't like it..lol
    That's maybe true. But it's easy if you are genius like Tesla so you have something larger than you to focus on, but what about us, mediocre people, what to focus on if not women... :D
     
  5. RubiconZ

    RubiconZ Fapstronaut

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    I was surprised to learn that women actually put more stock in looks than men. Dating websites in particular find that men's opinion of what an average woman looks like roughly approximates the average, while the reverse generally isn't true. Women will put a majority of men in the 'below average' category, which of course makes no sense.
     
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  6. Saurav04

    Saurav04 Fapstronaut

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    Yes I was reading this study. According to one study 90% of women looks for top 10% of attractive guys on Tinder. What it means is that top 10% of guys are ready to hookup with 90% of girls in that 90% appx 50% were lower than average. I don't exactly remind the study but it was too extreme.
    What I mean to say is if woman is below average they still want top 10% of guys. But if a man is not in top 10% chance is negligible even to find average woman.
     
  7. RubiconZ

    RubiconZ Fapstronaut

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    I'm not sure how that shakes out though, because obviously 80% of men are not single, so it might be confined to the specific dynamic of dating apps. In any case it does speak to the general uselessness of dating apps. But I wouldn't really recommend reading this stuff too much. I have a bad habit of it, when I'm feeling sorry for myself, I'll look up statistics on loneliness, suicide, number of friends, number of relationships, success on dating apps, etc. None of it helps you really, it can only get you down.
     
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  8. skaterdrew

    skaterdrew Fapstronaut

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    I don't like the way I look at women a lot of the time if I am honest. I think it is a serious lack of confidence that causes me to feel and think this way, and having the belief that no chance I will ever get a woman I am attracted to.

    I feel like I see women that I am really attracted to like god like creatures a lot of the time. I wish I didn't feel this way, as they're only human at the end of the day.

    I mean what is the main reason most guys start nofap and pornfree? I would say the main reason most guys start nofap and pornfree is because of PIED. They realize they might not be able to perform in sex and no way they can have that so they start nofap and pornfree.

    So having a successful sex life is one of the most important things they want in their life. Being in a relationship with a woman is one of the most important things they want in their life.

    So how much power do women like this, that these guys are really attracted to have over them? They're basically one of the most important things these guys want in their life, maybe the most important thing they want in their life.

    I guess I kind of see women that I am really attracted to like that.
     
    Last edited: May 14, 2020
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  9. ahighertruth

    ahighertruth Fapstronaut

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    I dont even want a 8 or a 9. Just give me a 6 or 7 who will love me for who i am and thats all i need.
     
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  10. Reborn16

    Reborn16 Fapstronaut

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    I find a binary system of attraction is helpful. Am I into her? Yes or no. 1's and 0's, no scale.

    Her looks are almost always the first thing I notice, but if she has no interests or is narcissistic, then it's a no. Setting boundaries like this can do wonders for the 'pedestal' problem. Sure she might be hot enough to have 10,000 followers, but if she's on her phone all day and night and prioritises that fake attention, would you really be happy dating her?

    My guess is we slowly improve our lives on this journey. And at some point, single or not, experienced or not, we realise we want more than just looks. Let's not sell ourselves short.
     
  11. Saurav04

    Saurav04 Fapstronaut

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    Yeah internet is double edges sword. Especially if you find symptom of any disease on search engine you will end up with cancer. So it's true what you said.
     
  12. RubiconZ

    RubiconZ Fapstronaut

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    A big one was the risk of permanent sexual dysfunction as a side effect from anti-depressants. I just took my first dose ever tonight, hoping I haven't made a big mistake.
     
  13. Free your mind

    Free your mind Fapstronaut

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    Dont worry, wvwn if it happens, its reversable.
    And usualy when it happens, the doctor changs for another type.
     
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  14. angelpart

    angelpart Fapstronaut

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    Yea I've thought about this pretty extensively in the past and I hate it. I hate that everyone in a given culture is attracted by the same looks, physical features, personalities even. I hate that I have crushes on the same women as everyone else, whereas there are other women that noone finds attractive. It's so unfair, I can't control how I feel about someone and it sucks.
     
  15. We are stupid. You will be sourpised how stupid we are! As human beings, as species.
    We are fools. Puppets of the gods. (i mean incoscious and instinct forces)

    But, this is not a bad thing. Probably you feel frustrated or confused because you were believing some media/social construct bullshit in the first place, so once you see the real deal you stress about your previous naiff beliefs.

    Real forces of Nature dont give a fuck about you or me or any "I". You will always respond to a 10 or a 9 or really any girl because is what you are BORN TO DO, and Nature dont care if you like it or not or if it is just or injust (justice is another social construct).

    What women mean to me?
    Well, for me, women are the joy of my life. The treasure. The adventure. Asi it was always be for some of us. Women is what make life enjoy living.
    I dont care if nobody wants to say it, I WILL SAY IT RIGHT NOW! Women and beauty is what gives sense to life
     
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  16. Saurav04

    Saurav04 Fapstronaut

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    I understand everyone has their own thoughts. But don't you think giving women so much power on you that you said "Women and beauty gives sense to your life". Respect and love to women is good. But all sense to your life is focused towards women. Think of it
     
  17. Dear friend, as C G Jung said it "there where is LOVE, desire of POWER does not exist and where POWER is predominant, LOVE shines for its absence. One is the shadow of the other"

    There is nothing more powerful that truth. All i am saying is the TRUTH, my truth. Women give joy to my life
    Can you deny what i just said?

    Philosopher A.Camus said: "the only philosophical question of any value is: Should i kill myself?"

    No. Life is beautiful. Why? Because there are women in it (among other beautiful things). I am not relinquishing power, is a choice based on the pure truth
     
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  18. Saurav04

    Saurav04 Fapstronaut

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    Good for you buddy.
     
  19. Trying to figure that out honestly. Life seems easier single yet some part of me thinks I want a woman’s companionship. Not enough to actually go after it I guess.
     
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  20. Saurav04

    Saurav04 Fapstronaut

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    No doubt if the woman is good the life can become so beautiful. Whether man or woman every one needs someone after a point in life. There might be few person who don't need someone but they have a really big goal and I guess they are so focused in that goal that they might not need someone. Few days back I talked to some old relatives of mine, they were so thankful that I called them and talked. They felt like I have done a lot for them, basically it was a call and I asked how are you.
    Same here some part of me also think I want a woman's companionship. But after having long streak don't want to think about woman I don't want to fantasize and relapse. Maybe if I get recovered completely I will go out after this pandemic and find someone. I know this pandemic is really bad but it's good we all are improving. If I started fapping I won't stop. I know I have lots of free time so I must use it productively.
     

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