What would you like to suggest to a newbie?

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by Ilikebowties, Feb 2, 2021.

  1. Ilikebowties

    Ilikebowties New Fapstronaut

    Well, I just signed up and came here. I was following and trying NoFap but this time I want to take it seriously. I do sports and already have a lot of things that can make me busy. What would you like to suggest to me?

    By the way, I like bow ties :)
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  2. Oliver Gunter

    Oliver Gunter Fapstronaut

    Hey there! Staying busy and being serious about it is all you need basically. It can also help to install P blockers, start cold showering (resets body and mind immediately), and eat healthy.
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  3. 1: Take it seriously
    2: read a lot about the addiction, you wil’ either read a lot and know tricks, or you will relapse a lot and learn tricks for yourself.
    3: go Monk mode from now
    4: just promise yourself you will keep at it untill you die, keeping fighting that is.. despite relapses.
    5: set small goals and accept temporary failure and look beyond it and see why you might relapse.
    6: You have to learn to enjoy the life of Nofap more than the life of Porn pleasure and live that, soon you will realize women are overrated, and they dont define us not our existence, and that we can totally seek pleasure in other thing.
  4. WHMvsPMO

    WHMvsPMO Fapstronaut

    Timing/order, both long term and short term. If someone told a newbie a million things it can be all true but it's not the right time, and as far as short term look at both the sequence and regularity of your routine.

    Say you wake up, exercise a little then take a shower then eat. But some people wake up hungry so you might need to adjust that.

    You have to look at your routine, or have a fairly consistent one in the first place. This applies to everything not just the morning - it's basically a program.
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  5. WHMvsPMO

    WHMvsPMO Fapstronaut

    Forgot to mention, the reason order matters is because of cause and effect. You have kind of windows of opportunity to stack the effect of things so benefits multiply.
  6. SickSicko

    SickSicko Fapstronaut

    I would suggest swaping to regular ties.

    Ah, and keeping yourself busy, don't count days, that's guaranteed failure and I know about that hahaha just be like "not today", and the next time "not today" and so on.

    Take it as a change in lifestyle not a challenge.
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  7. Ilikebowties

    Ilikebowties New Fapstronaut

    I think staying calm is one of the important things to carry on. Because when we feel stress, our brains force us to get rid of it and as a result, we relapse. I learn some new stoicism techniques and check my stress level all the time. It helps.
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  8. Oliver Gunter

    Oliver Gunter Fapstronaut

    I agree. Stoicism helps me a lot in my life.
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  9. 1. No going half way, you've got to be all in (i still struggle with this)
    2. Dont push your boundaries if you have to ask if something is okay or try to justify it, its not okay
    3. It takes more than willpower. Gritting your teeth wont do it. You need to make changes and stay vigilant
    4. watch videos by a guy called Universal Man on youtube. He has helped me tremendously. Make sure you look for the videos specifically about porn and nofap, he has several playlists on his channel
    5. Have strong reasons why and always remind yourself of them, its easy to forget in the heat of the moment
    6. Dont rely on others too much. Friends and Accountability partners and tjings like that are nice, but it always comes down to you and no one can beat your addiction for you
    7. Dont waste time. I started this years ago and as you can see i'm still here and struggling (although i have come a long way from where i was), dont waste years of your life consumed with porn and nofap. Make it happen now whatever it takes

    I could probably go on all day, but thats a good starting point. Best of luck man :)
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 3, 2021
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  10. GuyInAbstinence

    GuyInAbstinence Fapstronaut

    Well said.
  11. runner0424

    runner0424 Fapstronaut

    This is a pretty lengthy response :

    I have had 18 years or so of struggle with porn. Here is what I have learned:

    I relapsed twice after 6 months Or so being porn free. It was a little crushing. I’m currently a year or so free from that relapse. Although in this year, I had 2 near relapses and straddled the line and looked and tempted myself more than I should have with barely clothed and see through etc.

    I have a wife and kids and I had to tell her and she has helped. Along with a few friends opened up too. It lifted a huge weight off.

    I have learned a lot in my struggle with porn. One, is what triggers me. A lot on the internet and tv triggered me(seeing beautiful women). I believe my last relapse was super bowl halftime show, I didn’t relapse that night, but like a week or two after it, but those images stayed with me and I kept wanting more, even after 6 months. The relapse before was seeing on ESPN website the athletes body magazine and got curious which athletes made it and had beautiful woman. Had zero intention of doing porn, but those were triggers.

    I also researched And watched videos of the science behind it all and it releases dopamine In your brain and scary how the addiction can become when I thought I could control it.

    the ways I feel like I have conquered it for good was that I had my wife put in an adult filter password that I don’t know what it is(it could be a friend if not married). It’s my backup plan when having a bad day and can’t see the adult sites. I also don’t watch shows that could trigger me and try to turn my head if I think a scene is coming. More importantly though, I have really grown in my faith with God. I have listened to so many sermons on temptations and that has helped me tremendously. Rick Warren and Greg Laurie are 2 of my favorites and have helped me a ton!! I learned about all the garbage I was putting in my mind. The analogy was how we have to watch what we eat, we can’t eat McDonald’s fried food every meal without bad consequences, the same thing applies with what you consistently put in your mind. We are trying to undo years and years of bad addictions and it takes time to undo that.
    “Above Inspiration” YouTube videos are great too. Give them a listen, it’s usually 10-20 min long.

    Hopefully this helps and try and learn as much as possible and avoid whatever gets you tempted and triggered. M make it a lifestyle change and don’t beat yourself up if you have a relapse. Just learn from it and keep trying to do better. Porn free radio podcast by Matt Dobschuetz
    I also told myself , I would help as many people possible struggling with this as I could once when I got it under control.

    Keep us posted on your journey.

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