Whats the hardest part of rebooting for you?

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Golgo 13, Dec 24, 2015.

  1. volt2187

    volt2187 Guest

    Couple of things, but mostly the realization that I can never engage in pmo ever again. Don't get me wrong, pmo can hit the curb, but when you've trained yourself for close to 10 years to seek out p for sexual pleasure, as well as had many sexual fantasies for your own pleasure, it's hard to just say no and cut it off. Hence my relapses. BUT, now I know that that's the wrong choice to make in life and I am looking to correct that. What's motivating is just after 7 days of no pmo I've noticed small changes and benefits, so the thoughts of how I'll feel after 90 days and beyond is what's pushing me to not give up hope.

    Secondly, finally facing reality. For all these years I have made myself a loner, no one else did this to me, it was all my choice. So now I have pull myself out of this hole I dug for myself and begin living. I actually look forward to this part, but the initial thought of it is beyond scary. I know from my past experiences though that once I start feeling success the rest will follow.

    Cutting out the pmo is vital for this, as I always told myself during social interactions when people ask me what I like to do that I have to make stuff up or half ass it, because you can't be like, "I search for porn videos and pictures on the internet and beat it off everyday, how about you?". Having those thoughts and mindset is helping me a lot during this journey, I just have to be tough and ride this out.
     
    PatentPending, HopeFaith and Saoirse like this.
  2. Saoirse

    Saoirse Guest

    I hear you. Over the last few weeks I've been saying 'in 2016, I'll be the kind of person who simply doesn't PMO. 2016 will be a year free of PMO'. Well, tomorrow is 2016. Now it's real. The thought of no PMO EVER AGAIN should be great, but it is a little bit daunting too. Like you said, years of PMO are years with PMO as part of a lifestyle, as part of a personality that is now going to change quite a bit. It's a leap in the dark, because no part of my adult life has been PMO free [except the last few months].
     
    HopeFaith likes this.
  3. Golgo 13

    Golgo 13 Fapstronaut

    606
    490
    63
    I know this is an old thread but it was around the time I started my current reboot. I quit porn, but still struggle with masturbation.
    Now the hardest part of rebooting for me is waiting. I just want this to be over and done with I have become impatient.
    Another hard part is the constant triggers that I am forced to be exposed in this era we call the information age.

    Any other opinions are welcomed.
     
  4. Phibz

    Phibz Fapstronaut

    541
    430
    63
    I really think that you should re-evaluate this "masturbation" thing. Why do you think that you are struggling with this? It's your deep-seated fear of letting this go. This has been your drug for a long time. That very fear is what needs to be confronted. You don't really have an understanding of what is going on. If you did, you would be able to see your fear as unfounded. It's really an illusion. How do I know this? Because it was my personal experience. You won't get this if you're "waiting" for it to happen. You have to see this for what it really is. But you have to experience it for yourself. My word isn't enough to convince you. Just something to think about.
     
  5. Golgo 13

    Golgo 13 Fapstronaut

    606
    490
    63
    i dont understand. You need some time to reboot. You cant just say, "ok im done with porn/masturbation - my life is better". It takes time - months.
    I already understand that porn is bad and there is no point in going back to it, thus i will not be watching ever again. I recently realized every time i masturbation i could have been going out meeting real women. Now i know to quit masturbation. So i know both porn/masturbation is bad, now i am simply giving time for my mind/body to heal.
     
  6. Phibz

    Phibz Fapstronaut

    541
    430
    63
    I think Nofap fails to convey certain truths. It is relatively new. And I think the term "reboot" points to a certain truth, but fails to convey this. That's why I'm trying to convey this to you. And you are right. I didn't mean it to sound like it's something that happens overnight. This is what I'm trying to convey here: This is not about going out and meeting women. People that can't grasp Nofap can't grasp that this has very little to do with the penis. People want to believe that "if I can just fix this part of me, my life will be better." No. You have to start with your mind. Not your penis. If you could see through all your fear, you wouldn't care about whether you were successful with women or not. You wouldn't worry about erections. You wouldn't worry about what other people thought. And guess what? Then, you would start being successful with women. Then you would start having erections. Then your life would be more satisfying. All because you came to understand your fear and quit giving a flying fuck. That is when you will start enjoying life again. Why do you think children are so free? They havent been taught that they aren't yet. I'm content with knowing I have a lot more to learn about myself. I'm not this spiritually righteous jackass that walks around smiling all the time. Sometimes I get frustrated with you people. You cause me to drink and post rude comments on here, sometimes. I hope in time you will get this. I know right where you're at. I can't point you in the general direction. But like me, you'll keep bumping into shit because you're looking beyond where I'm pointing.
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  7. Phibz

    Phibz Fapstronaut

    541
    430
    63
    And I do post things I regret later. And I still struggle with relationships. But growth is interesting. When you come to understand fear, it can be fun and adventurous. It's very much like poker. You can have several people around the table really enjoying the game. And then you have that one guy who takes losing really bad and makes a spectacle of himself. He forgot it was a game. I'm that guy, sometimes.
     
  8. Golgo 13

    Golgo 13 Fapstronaut

    606
    490
    63
    I understand for many people it takes more then NoFap to get their life on track. My counters have more then just no porn/masturbation. Im trying to get away from the opinions of mainstream media (its social conditioning poison), and other things. However I believe that the most important thing in my life right now is rebooting. I have fixed a lot of things in my past - I've come along way.
    And at the end of the day if I am not successful with a particular girl its not the end of the world for me. I have healed my mind, really. I cant give you an account of my life story in a few paragraphs but you must trust me that my mind/way of thinking has changed for the better.
    But I am a 20-year-old male. When I have things like PIED, brainfog, social anxiety, desensitization it is frankly very depressing. I am suppose to be horny all the time, be very outgoing, get a lot of women, etc. Before I discovered NoFap/YBOP I felt like an old man, I didnt know what was wrong with me. So, sex might not be as important to some people but for a 20-year-old its basically all i want to do/my motivation to do things in life and PIED isnt helping that.
    Yes, I have other interest in life. I like shooting guns, drinking, going on wild adventures, drugs, movies, working out, philosophy, etc. But feeling like an asexual lifeform is unacceptable for me.
    Completely understand. We're all trying to improve our lives somehow on NoFap. People have different reasons but it seems the common denominator is quitting porn and/or masturbation. And for some if they do that they will completely change their life immensely.
     
  9. Crispy21

    Crispy21 Fapstronaut

    328
    421
    63
    Hardest part would be the small fear ill never be truely cured and that pied will always rear its ugly face no matter how long i abstain
     
    Golgo 13 likes this.
  10. Phibz

    Phibz Fapstronaut

    541
    430
    63
    I didnt realize you were 20. Your generation surely has it tougher.
     
  11. fapshooter

    fapshooter Fapstronaut

    175
    72
    28
    The second hardest part is keeping my hands off of my dick.

    The hardest part is my dick itself :p
     
  12. GSarosi

    GSarosi Guest

    The unknown. I know there is an end game to all this. I just don't know when that will be. Plus all that goes on in between with all its ups and downs can be scary at times. I know I have the discipline and mental strength to carry this through but it would reassuring if I know if there is a date and timeframe to all this.
     
    Crispy21 likes this.
  13. Buzz Lightyear

    Buzz Lightyear Fapstronaut

    2,716
    2,924
    143
    The hardest part of rebooting is relapsing. And I hope the relapses that come, should there be another, will be even harder... and even more miserable. And then this would add even more motivation, to that which I already have, to make the continuing reboot easier.

    Why more miserable. There is a process here: I attain a higher level of 'clarity', then I lapse, and the qualitative difference of that lapse compared to previous ones is of quite a different degree.... I experience even more misery relative to the previous lapse... the 'differing degree' of the lapse [a qualitative as opposed to quantitative difference] has increased. I am still looking for the vocabulary with which to describe this psychological phenomena. ha ha
     
    Last edited: Mar 30, 2016
  14. Physicist

    Physicist Fapstronaut

    400
    274
    63
    There is no waiting. It is only a lifestyle. You wait and you finally reboot? Guess what your subconcious will be say "one more, you have reboot. It wont hurt".

    First step is deciding that you wont indulge in PMO. The second is proactively getting what you want. Its that simple.

    Stop waiting. Start doing
     
  15. Buzz Lightyear

    Buzz Lightyear Fapstronaut

    2,716
    2,924
    143
    H aha... 're-booting' as a lifestyle.
     
  16. Sometimes I think: "Do I really need this? This wan't such a big problem, this whole PMO thing. Why am I doing this? Was I really addicted? What's wrong with some MO or a little bit of P" Or I think: "I could MO and just not watch P, and then reboot that way. I don't need to not M and O to do this, it's P what is problem".

    But it's all a lie. When I give it time and think I then realize that there is reason why I am doing what I'm doing. And I can clearly see how my life has got better during only those few weeks since I stopped. And clearly look back at it now and see that it was pretty messed up. That my mind is playing tricks on me wanting to make me give up for the short term pleasure. It's addiction that's talking. And that M could lead to more negative amounts of M, and that further to more P. If I would do that I would regret it and just end up in same position couple months later with all my progress lost. If I loosen the rope of my boat then it might not hold it eventually at all and lose it.

    That's the hardest part for me. Not to actually resist the urges themselves but doubting myself. That "voice" in my head. Even tho I can clearly see the benefits in this, and not just see but feel them, I still sometimes feel like I am giving up something, like I sacrifice something. Like giving up MO and maybe even P for the reboot is not worth it. But of course my logical mind sees how ridiculous it is. But still, it's annoying how this little devil in my head can sometimes be so convincing.
     
  17. Physicist

    Physicist Fapstronaut

    400
    274
    63
    What do you mean?
     
  18. Buzz Lightyear

    Buzz Lightyear Fapstronaut

    2,716
    2,924
    143
    Well, you certainly don't want to identify yourself as a 're-booter', and see that somehow as your lifestyle. You want to get it sorted, and move on. That's why I'm wary of the talk that revolves around the 'inner addict'. Thinking that way, you'll always be focused on this stuff.
     
  19. Buzz Lightyear

    Buzz Lightyear Fapstronaut

    2,716
    2,924
    143
    You touch on a good point here. But is the sense of sacrificing something really so bad? Ask yourself what part of you may resist or resent that. Is it your higher self or your lower self; your reason or your ego?
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  20. Physicist

    Physicist Fapstronaut

    400
    274
    63
    The opposite is equally true. Rebooting means when your system is clean you might be tempted to dive back in thinking "well, how much is one session going to harm".

    Addict? Maybe a little bit. Bad habit? Definitely!

    Its about replacing this bad habit and using time and energy to create a better life as well.

    I might consider this intial phase as rebooting for sure. But I know I'll continue far beyond that is over. Especially viewing porn. This is why I'm always vary of the 90-day number. Its just a benchmark, a target to aim for. Not the number that will help everyone. Its an arbitrary number.

    90 days works for everyone would be like saying 100g of protein per day is sufficient for EVERY individual which we know isn't true.
     
    Buzz Lightyear likes this.

Share This Page