What's the point anymore?

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by Brador, Aug 29, 2019.

  1. Brador

    Brador Fapstronaut

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    I've been on NoFap for 20+ days, and I'm finding it difficult to justify my reason for continuing simply because porn is, or was, the closest thing I'll ever get to intimacy with a women.

    To start, women hate. And when I say women, I mean all women. This may seem like an exaggeration but it's not.

    Like most guys, I deal with rejection, but it's developed to the point where women reject the very idea of my existence. So much, in fact, many of them go so far out there way to explicitly state they're not interested in me, even when I'm minding my own business or just being antisocial in general. The funny part is that I gave up the possibility of dating, relationships (platonic or intimate), sex, or developing any sort of connection with another human being 10 years ago (yeah, it's been that long).

    It's just not in my cards.

    Women just make me uncomfortable.

    I'm not sure why, but they do.

    I've never been good with women and it's probably for good reason (probably because they're fucking retarded, boring, unfunny, and laugh at dumb shit). Therefore, the idea that I'm giving off "the scent of desperation" or "trying to hard" doesn't apply in this context.

    Here's why...

    I intentionally avoid eye contact, face the opposite direction, and avoid physical contact at all costs. If I have to talk to them, I insult and berate them just so they know how much I hate them, yet somehow they find a way to reject me or assume that I'm interested in them. It's frustrating as hell.

    In short, I don't understand why I'm still dealing with rejection when I'm avoiding people (mostly women) any chance I get. Furthermore, why should I continue NoFap when I know I'll never be with another woman and no woman wants to be with me?
     
    Augustin likes this.
  2. captainteemo

    captainteemo Fapstronaut

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    I do Nofap for myself i want to be diciplined and be more succesfull in the future. Why would you even focus this much on women women come later when you devolped yourself and have a good life.

    For now try to build yourself up women are human whe are not seperated whe are the same as them ofcourse there are some bad ones around but there are plenty of women who would like to have a relaitionship with you. Try to be positive and everething around you will be also.

    Remember my friend you are doing NOFAP for yourself not for anyone else.
     
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  3. letter

    letter Distinguished Fapstronaut

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    It seems you are of two minds.

    On one hand, you say you've given up on relationships.
    On the other hand, you want porn because it's the closest thing to intimacy you've had.

    It seems to me that you are someone who wants intimacy and relationships, but has been hurt by women and has resorted to rejecting women so as to distance themselves from having to face the pain of being rejected. You can keep pushing everyone away, but it isn't going to change your heart.

    If I can see this over the internet, you can bet the women around you in your life can pick up on this too.

    Don't forget too that hatred runs close to love, it's the expression of care when the object of care has gone wrong. If you've really given up on relationships, if you really didn't care then you'd be apathetic towards these things & you're anything but that.

    Another thing is that it isn't uncommon for women to grow up in domestic abuse as children and they subconsciously learn that being insulted and berated is what love looks like. It's the classic "why do girls love bad guys" stereotype. Some had rotten childhoods and as people we tend to love what we know & are comfortable with, even if it is something horrible.
     
  4. Brador

    Brador Fapstronaut

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    I highly doubt they're picking up on anything other than me being rude or an asshole. Like I said, I avoid any and all contact where possible. If a woman attempts to talk to me, I usually bury my face in my phone and ignore her existence entirely. If I provoked enough, I'll end up telling her to shut the fuck up or to rudely fuck off. I went as far as But even after all that, most of them continue to assume I'm interested in them or like them and proceed to make a big deal about it.

    As for intimacy and relationship, I no longer want them. I know for a fact that I'll never have either them, so why walk around with this false belief of something that will never come to fruition.
     
  5. letter

    letter Distinguished Fapstronaut

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    And some may think you’re just being shy.

    Dooood. If they are rejecting you, there has to be something they are picking up on. Even if it is a false signal, it’s been consistent enough that you’ve established a pattern.

    You know what you could do? Without anger or putting them down, inquire why the woman has rejected you and why they thought you were interested. I mean, for this pattern to exist there has to be a cause for this effect to repeat again and again, right? It may not be a cause you agree with, but my man, that’s reality. I’d probably agree with you that the cause is ridiculous, but before you can dismantle it you must first understand it.

    Okay then, given you want porn as a proxy for intimacy then you should have 0 problems giving it up permanently.

    I don’t believe that I’m going to end up in a relationship with a woman either, but I’m not gonna fool myself into believing it is something I don’t want just because I can’t have it. I know I want it. I know it hurts. But pretending I don’t care isn’t going to make that go away.
     
    Despicable me likes this.
  6. Brador

    Brador Fapstronaut

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    Whats the point of building myself up when fate is practically sealed?
     
  7. Brador

    Brador Fapstronaut

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    Seriously, when was the last time a women gave you a side splitting laugh? Exactly, never...
     
    Augustin likes this.

  8. I'm with you. I'm done with the sour grapes phase like the MGTOWS. I want someone in my life to wake up next to in the morning, make love to, and to relax with at the end of the day, and listen to music with. At my age, having never been in a relationship, it's unlikely it will ever happen. But I don't want to lie to myself. That just makes it worse.
     
    thorswrath32 likes this.
  9. Infrasapiens

    Infrasapiens Fapstronaut

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    Another incel. You have to options, try to improve yourself to become a happier and less bitter person, or go to Incels.Is. I recomend the first one.
     
  10. Brador

    Brador Fapstronaut

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    Yeah, I'm sooo Incel...
     
  11. Brador

    Brador Fapstronaut

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    You better believe it
     
  12. Brador

    Brador Fapstronaut

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    I'm not fooling myself into believing I don't want it, because I don't. No logic exists in having a strong desire for something that you know you'll never obtain.
     
  13. Infrasapiens

    Infrasapiens Fapstronaut

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    Neither does in complaining about something you suppsedly cannot change.
     
    skibum71 likes this.
  14. Maybe deep inside you hate the present version of yourself. You know you could be better, but you are not doing anything to achieve this. So you silenced your inner voices and chose the path of least resistance.
     
    Coffee Candy and goodnice 2.0 like this.
  15. You have sealed your own fate with your bitterness, sullen and sour attitude, and low thoughts. There is still time to change though. Read “As a Man thinketh” by James Allen

    https://wahiduddin.net/thinketh/as_a_man_thinketh.pdf
     
    captainteemo and thorswrath32 like this.
  16. Brador

    Brador Fapstronaut

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    First, to figure out if NoFap is even worth the effort in the long run seeing how I'll never experience any form of intimacy again. And lastly, to figure out why women go out of their way to reject me when I'm doing nothing but minding my own business and avoiding any and all forms of contact? It's like getting rejected from a job you never knew existed or applied for. The only thing I've been able to come up with is they maybe need a self-esteem boost or some form of validation.

    I'm not complaining, I'm seeking understanding.
     
  17. Can you give an example of women doing this? So you are saying you are just minding your own business and women just come and diss you. I find it hard to believe. Maybe it has nothing to do with you, and the women just has a RBF
     
  18. You asked whether nofap was even worth it. You also are seeking for understanding
    Please read the short pdf I linked above, “As a Man Thinketh”. It will answer both of those questions
     
  19. Celebacy is a good vocation, it's severely underrated, even scoffed at. I think it's a noble service to oneself.
    Obviously I don't know you at all but, I've had personal frustrations with the opposite sex too. I've had women try to talk to me over nonsense, even when it was very obvious that I wanted to be left alone. Some women though, are of this modern 3rd wave feminism shtick, and they'll push and prod regardless if you give them the time of day. You could cuss them out or quite literally run away from them but they'd sooner chase you down rather than to leave you be.

    I wish you well and also, I want to say a word of encouragement. Whatever your issues are, and despite the fact that no matter what you do women are still attracted to you or whatever, take it all in stride. Keep moving, make those steps to improve yourself, whatever your goals are. You're here, I'm presuming, to set some kind of a standard for yourself. So be selfish, it's okay to be selfish.
     
  20. Brador

    Brador Fapstronaut

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    The most recent incident occurred on the 2nd day of class at my university. Whenever I attend class for the first time, I instinctively search for a corner or seat the furthest from another individual. If permitted, I'll grab a chair and sit even further from the rest of the class. I do this because I hate everything about socializing (small talk, eye contact, etc...). In this case, I was only able to find one seat or corner that didn't have anyone sitting adjacent to it. Moving forward, my professor hands us this assignment that required us to be in groups of two. As an antisocial individual, I would've rather accepted a 0, but I decided to just deal with and stick to my social rules and boundaries (no eye or physical contact, no smiling, etc...). At this point everyone had a partner with the exception of me and the girl sitting one chair over. As I prep my things to complete the assignment with her, she took one look at me in disgust and joined another group that already full. The professor looked at me as if was refusing to participate. In response, I lashed out at both of them. I'm not going to be called out in front of the class for her actions. The next day before class, a fellow male student who was entertained by my outburst told me she assumed that I was interested in her and that I made her feel uncomfortable. Keep in mind I only attend this class once per week. School just started so this was our first class where we stayed the entire 3 hours. Honestly, I didn't know what she even looked like until after the fact. Either way, I'm not sure how I can make someone sitting nearly two chairs over, partitioned with my big-ass leather rucksack, composing emails on my laptop, uncomfortable...I'm not fat, I don't smell and I definitely don't consider myself ugly.

    It's sad. Even when I go out of my way to avoid women, they make it their life's purpose to make sure I know that they aren't attracted to me and promote that rejection to others for reasons unknown.
     

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