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When a woman ask you, why are you single for so long ?

Discussion in 'Dating during a Reboot' started by nfpexperiment, Sep 29, 2021.

  1. nfpexperiment

    nfpexperiment Fapstronaut

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    When a woman ask you, why are you single for so long ? What is the best answer ? Why would they ask such a question ? What if the truthfull answer is not so good for your image ? Some examples bad for your image, I have been in jail, I was addicted to porn for too long, I was addicted to drugs etc, I was fat and obese so low self esteem, I was shy to talk to woman for too long and other personal reason you rather not talk about yet and keep for yourself.

    If this is the case it is better to say I will tell you later when the time is right, no point to lie about it because she will find out later, she must earn your trust first for you to be open right or not ?
     
    Last edited: Sep 29, 2021
  2. What is the best answer ?
    I would simply say, I haven't met the right person. Doesn't matter if that's been 10 years. If I don't meet the right person that I like, I wouldn't date that person.

    Why would they ask such a question ?
    I can think of some reasons. She thinks you are so cute/handsome that you would have been swept away by now. She thinks that you are still in love with your ex and are having difficulty moving on. Or she want's to make sure you are single for a while, and didn't break up in the last hour. She is thinking about herself more, and making sure she would be ok to go out with you. What ever her reason be, it's a generic enough question that anyone could ask anyone.

    Let's analyse your so called negative reasons.
    - I have been in jail
    If I had met the right person there, I wouldn't be single. There are lots of women who begin to date men in prison. Feel free to google.
    - I was addicted to porn for too long, I was addicted to drugs etc,
    If I had met the right person, that person would have helped me get off that drug, whether that be porn or any other substance abuse.
    - I was fat and obese so low self esteem
    If I had met the right person, she would have helped me build my self esteem and help me in my journey of loosing weight.
    - I was shy to talk to woman for too long
    If I had met the right person, she would like me for being shy. She would have approached me and asked me for a date. And I would have loved to be in a relationship with her.

    Do you have any other reasons to think less of yourself?
     
  3. nfpexperiment

    nfpexperiment Fapstronaut

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    Well will she conclude that the truth is that you were lazy and passive to chase women ? what if this was the truth ? Not a good image right ?
     
  4. nfpexperiment

    nfpexperiment Fapstronaut

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    Well man must approach first, a shy guy will never do that. What is the chance of a women approaching you and asking for a date, well it doesn't happen to me, I am kinda average, propably that's why.
     
  5. Being lazy and passive to chase women, is that a crime? If serial killers can have romances and real love interests, then why shouldn't you deserve one?
     
  6. This is 21st century. It's ok for women to ask men out. Yes I am shy too, but that's what I am, and I am fucking awesome. I have amazing friends and family. I have a good job, a house, and I am fun to be with. And it's completely ok that I am single. I am not the happiest person in the world, but so are married couples. I was married and was miserable. I got divorced and was miserable. Now, I just don't give a F.

    By the way, I have had times when women make it way too obvious that they like me. I usually wait to see if that interest lasts every time I meet her. If she holds that interest, then I muster up the courage to ask. I would encounter situations like that may be 1 or 2 in a year. It's rare, but that happens. Last year, I asked two girls. One said no. I felt bad at that time, and I got over it. Then another one said yes. As we dated, things didn't go well after a month, and we broke up.
     
    Vanquisher12 likes this.
  7. nfpexperiment

    nfpexperiment Fapstronaut

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    Maybe because they are good liars, because their goal isn't long term relationships, do they have long term relationships ? I do not want to tell lies.
     
  8. If you can't be nice to yourself, if you can't be proud of yourself for achieving what ever you have achieved so far, with all the innate hurdles that you face because of your difficult personality, then I don't know what to say. If you can't be happy for yourself, who will be?

    I am sure you have watched this, but thought I will share it with you anyways.
     
  9. I would say something like "I've been focusing on my work and myself for a while, doing a lot of introspection, yadda yadda....but now I'd like to branch out and find that special someone" and give her a wink.
     
  10. nfpexperiment

    nfpexperiment Fapstronaut

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    What if that is not really the truth ? What if u just have been lazy chasing women ? Or some other fact that is bad for image if you were truthfull ?
     
  11. meh so what? Most job interviews people aren't truthful....why should this be an exception?
     
  12. depeche69

    depeche69 Fapstronaut

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    My answers in the past:

    • Haven't find the right person yet.

    • Because the women i want are too picky.

    • Because all good women are already taken.

    The real reason in my opinion:
    • Im to passive and dont approach women
    • Im not attractive enough to get attention of women
     
  13. I agree. The fact that she knows he's been single signifies he's already giving too much information up front. That's like when a girl puts out too fast...you might want it, but you won't respect her as much. For better or for worse, women are the same with info about a guy.

    Use the mystery to further her interest. Use it to your advantage while at the same time avoiding the question.
     
    Chris_Cactusblossom likes this.
  14. You also have to understand that if a girl is attracted and interested in you, she's rooting for you and wants to hear the right answers. So who cares?

    Consider....it's not like you're lying about something important like an STD, or that the cops are after you, or that you're a horrible person. It would be one thing if your intention was to screw her over, but it's not, right?

    Again, if you want the job and you want to keep the job, then do what it takes to GET the job. And when you do get the job, make sure you perform to the standards you said you would. Otherwise forget it.
     
    Chris_Cactusblossom likes this.
  15. p1n1983

    p1n1983 Fapstronaut

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    "I focused all my energy and time on working in myself and going after my goals and ambitions, so having a serious relationship wasn't possible at the time, so I just dated casually". This is my truth as an example. I took 3 years to work in myself and after that I started dating again.

    A woman whats to know if you are a good catch. If you don't dated a woman for years it can mean that you weren't desired by other woman in all that time, so if you wasn't maybe she shouldn't find you desirable either.
    Been succesfull with other woman give you social proof that you are a good catch and woman want to date a guy that is desiared by other woman.

    All this things are going to make her legs close forever. Keep this things to yourself. Eventually, after a time dating you can talk about this things in a positive like they were good challenges to beat in life and of course you succeded.
     
    becomingreat likes this.
  16. If I am being honest I just give them the most honest answer I can think of.

    "I am just too shy to talk to women."
     

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