Quick background: 10 months ago I saw a woman leaving my workplace and my jaw dropped. Instant attraction. Turns out she had just started working there . . . Over the past 10 months I have had other attractions, sure, but she's at the top of my list. It's clear that the attraction is mutual, and she has to know that I'm very attracted to her but I have chosen not to take action mostly because I have been too busy for a relationship. She is very flirty and this means that I have had to watch her flirting with other guys (not ideal for a guy with cuck fantasies). I've held on. If I am going to date this woman, I want to have time for her. That time is now. I was in Brussels last weekend and bought her a box of chocolates (hand selected, no hearts) and this week I did the very terrifying thing of approaching her at her desk and offering her the chocolates. It went well!! And now, the cat is out of the bag. She knows that I like her and I have made a move. I imagine the next step would be to ask her out on a date (probably something casual like coffee). I'd like to be cool and casual. Truth is I fear messing it up (I was visibly nervous when I gave her the chocolates and could barely talk). I can flirt very easily with women when I am not that interested, but this one really is something special . . . So my conundrum is: do I act as if she is definitely going to be my girlfriend soon (manifestation, if you will) or do I try to carry on, business as usual, as if my world won't come crashing down on me if this doesn't work out? In particular, there is a femdom party that I was going to attend on Saturday. This doesn't seem in line with the idea that I will be dating the woman of my dreams soon. (Underneath that perhaps is the fear that I am not okay as I am at the moment. That I need to become someone else for this woman. A fear that she will freak out and run the other way if she finds out that I am into bdsm) Any advice would be helpful. Thanks!